Men not at work.

MLB has suspended Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda 10 games “for possessing a foreign substance on his person. That’s the official reason. The unofficial reason of course is for being stupid enough to put pine tar on his neck.

Michael Pineda, after his ejection – “I will learn from this mistake and it will not happen again.’’ Translation. “Next time I’ll hide the pine tar in a more discrete place.”

 

A girl gave Michelle Obama her father’s resume, saying he hadn’t had any work in three years. “Honey, you didn’t have to do that” said Joe Biden.

The NFL has just come out with its 2014 schedule. This should give players ample time to schedule meetings with their probation officers.

Herschel Walker, 52, told USA TODAY “I can play in the NFL today. I couldn’t take every snap. But running backs nowadays don’t play every down… Physically, I can still do it.” Let’s hope nobody shows this to Brett Favre.

 

Wonder how many Americans who profess complete disinterest in William, Kate and George’s Australia tour because they don’t believe in hereditary monarchy are really hoping Jeb runs against Hillary in 2016.

So many high seeds are having trouble in the first round of the NBA playoffs that you have to wonder if fatigue is a factor. Which could mean next year teams put even LESS effort into the regular season.

Oscar Robertson said if he were advising Carmelo Anthony, he’d tell him to leave the New York Knicks. Presumably so Melo can find a new team to help underachieve?

The LA district attorney’s office says that Aldon Smith’s will probably only be charged with with a misdemeanor instead of a felony for saying telling TSA he had a bomb at LAX airport. Another athlete who should be glad stupidity is not a felony.

Richard Sherman, currently negotiating his contract “It’s all about respect in this game, and the only way people show respect is the dollars.” Ah, that’s what’s going on with college football in SEC and USC, respect.

A Bachelorette contestant died after a paragliding accident. The show’s producers had two reactions. 1. How sad. 2. Thank heaven it didn’t happen on one of our adventure dates.

 

 

GOP Presidential contenders are now rushing to distance themselves from rancher Cliven Bundy, who said, amongst other things about African-Americans, “And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.” If Bundy had just stuck to insulting the government and maybe women and gays, he’d still be some conservatives’ hero.

From TC “Air Canada will be terminating two of their baggage handlers this weekend after video showed them firing luggage as far as 20 feet at Toronto Pearson airport. The Blue Jays immediately signed them for pitching tryouts.”

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