Archive for April 10, 2014

Blind squirrel nut day.

April 10, 2014

I admit, I was wrong. Never thought any of the Kardashian clan would ever say anything intelligent. But I give you Kris Jenner, when asked about rumors that she would pose for Playboy – “Oh my god, no! I don’t think anyone wants to see me without any clothes on.”

 

The NY Post reports that Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t want to publicly split from Chris Martin, preferring that they stay in a “pretend marriage.” If true, who does she think she is? Tom Cruise?

 

The SF 49ers’ Colin Kaepernick is reportedly being investigated for sexual assault in Miami. No charges have been filed at this point. But wouldn’t you think with all the money these guys make they’d be smart enough to stick with professional working girls?

 

 

SF 49ers hoping sexual assault charges will not be filed against Colin Kaepernick. Still, once again this illustrates the danger of having openly heterosexual men play football.

 

In a new interview, Jimmy Carter praised John Kerry but criticized President Obama and Hillary Clinton over their handling of Middle East peace negotiations. And over at FOX as they try to figure out how to say “Carter is right,” heads are no doubt exploding.

A new report indicates that the CIA used Red Hot Chili Peppers’ songs to torture terrorism suspects. Well, guess they couldn’t use “It’s a Small World,” because that would have been a violation of the Geneva convention.

NY Giants QB Eli Manning will have arthroscopic surgery on his left ankle today. But the team hopes he will be recovered and ready to throw interceptions in minicamp.

Paul Goldschmidt v. Tim Lincecum lifetime 7 HR, 17 RBI in 24 ABs. If he ever throws him a strike again test Timmy for marijuana #SFGiants .

 

Jay Leno might be thinking he got out of the Tonight Show just in time. #Colbert #Letterman

 

John Calipari has a new book coming out with reform suggestions for college basketball. Amongst other things he believes players should be paid a stipend between $3,000 to $5,000, get one free roundtrip flight home a year, and be able to accept loans up to $50,000 against future earnings. Because these days kids on his team are really struggling during those six months of college.

The lawyer for the young man accused of stabbing 20 people at a school near Pittsburgh says the kid’s family is “like the Brady Bunch.” Uh, yeah, except for that show a violent episode was Marcia’s broken nose.

 

NY Giants QB Eli Manning will have arthroscopic surgery on his left ankle today. But the team hopes he will be recovered and ready to throw interceptions in minicamp.

 

 

 

Mike Huckabee says he’s not “homophobic but” he’s “on the right side of the bible., and unless God rewrites it, edits it, sends it down with his signature on it, it’s not my book to change.” Okay, so Huckabee’s good with all that rape, slavery, torture, incest and infanticide stuff too?

 

Kathleen Sibelius is resigning as Secretary of HHS. Republicans cannot wait for Obama to appoint her replacement so they can explain why he or she is the wrong choice.

Pay to play?

April 10, 2014

Adrian Peterson is saying now that college football players should be paid. And many former USC and SEC players are just giggling.

The 2015 Pro Bowl will be at the University of Phoenix Stadium, but the league just announced the game will be returning to Hawaii in 2016. Translation, a whole lot of players probably told the NFL something like “giving up some of my off-season for a week in Arizona, really? Did I mention that nagging injury?”

 

Oscar Pistorius at his trial Wednesday “I will try not to lie.” Can’t imagine why some defense attorneys don’t want to put their clients on the stand.

 

Tuesday the SF Giants won their 2013 home opener behind Barry Zito, 34. This year they won behind Tim Hudson, 38. What’s next? In 2015 will they sign Jamie Moyer?

41,000 people at A T and T Park knew that Tim Lincecum shouldn’t throw Paul Goldschmidt a fat strike with two on and nobody out. Shame Lincecum wasn’t one of them. #SFGiants

 

 

It’s bad enough if Hunter Pence isn’t hitting his weight. But now he’s not even hitting MY weight.

 

#NFL preseason schedules were released today. And if you care, you might REALLY have too much time on your hands.

 

The Indiana Pacers rested all five starters against the Milwaukee Bucks. Which almost made it a fair fight.  (The Pacers won 104-102)

 

Louisiana Congressman Lance McAllister has decided not to ask for an FBI probe into who leaked the video of him kissing a staffer. Maybe because he a- doesn’t want it shown over and over again during the investigation, and b- doesn’t want the FBI to find if the culprit has any more videos?

There’s a lot of competition, but the stupid tweet of the week contest may be over. Free agent LB Brandon Spikes, who signed a 4-year $3.2 million contract with New England in 2010, and who has now signed with the Bills, is complaining on Twitter about his time with the Patriots. Including this one – “4 years a slave.”

Regarding those stabbings in Pittsburgh, if that kid was close enough actually to stick a knife in 20 people, you have to figure the death toll with a gun could have been at least twice that.

The Justice Department says Hewlett-Packard has agreed to pay $108 million in criminal fines and civil penalties for bribing officials in Russia, Poland and Mexico to win technology contracts. Jeez, with all those bribes you’d think HP would have been more profitable.

A thought for folks who dismiss athletes’ coming out with “I don’t care what they do in the bedroom.” Uh, they aren’t telling us specifically what they are doing in the bedroom any more than straight athletes are telling us what THEY are doing in the bedroom. They are saying they are gay. And for now, saying it publicly matters. In a generation, or less, I hope we can all shrug.