Left Coast Sports Babe

Newt Gingrich believes people can choose to be straight, just like they can “choose to be celibate.” And somewhere Newt’s gay sister is thinking “Too bad you can’t choose your relatives.”

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Newt Gingrich is referring now to Palestinians as an “invented people.” (Even though pictures have re-surfaced of Newt in 1993 embracing Yasser Arafat.) Well, at this point many people on both sides of the aisle consider Newt an “invented candidate.”

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Ndamukong Suh walked out of a radio interview with the Detroit Lions’ station this week. Well, silver lining for the hosts, at least he didn’t stomp out.

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Barbara Walters’ “Most Fascinating Person of 2011” turned out to be Steve Jobs, who died earlier this year. Although had Steve stlll been alive, sharing the stage and the list with the Kardashians might have killed him.

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Newt Gingrich keeps talking how if he gets the GOP nomination, he will beat challenge President Obama by challenging him to seven three-hour debates. Really? In seven three-hour debates, Gingrich will undoubtedly change at least a position or two. If not a wife.

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Rick Perry at tonight’s GOP debate compared himself to Tim Tebow. And a voice from the heavens boomed down – “Governor, I know Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow is a friend of Mine, and Governor, you’re no Tim Tebow.”

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Chris Paul at a news conference today – “I’m excited to be here in L.A. with this unbelievable franchise with so much history behind it.” So does Paul think that given the Clippers’ history there is nowhere to go but up? Or does he think he was traded to the Lakers.

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Chicago Bears WR Sam Hurd was arrested Wednesday night and apparently will be charged with serious drug dealing. Guess he found it tough feeding his family on only $685 thousand a year.

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Another you cannot make this “stuff” up quote from Christine O’Donnell as to why she endorsed Mitt Romney: “because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” (And John Kerry said, why didn’t I think of that?)

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Rick Perry on fidelity “I didn’t make a vow just to my wife. I also made a vow to God. I’m afraid of my wife. I’m not afraid of my wife as much as I’m afraid of God.” Just the kind of romantic declaration every woman wants to hear.

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If you thought Jerry Sandusky’s 1st lawyer was bad, how the newest member of the defense team Karl Rominger? Who said in his client’s defense “Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 would sound strange to some people, but actually people who work with troubled youth would tell you that there are a lot of (them) who have to be taught basic life skills, like how to put soap on your body.” Blech. Again, makes me want to take a shower, or rather bath.

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Holiday note to parents whose children like to kick the seats on planes. Put you or your spouse (or a sibling) in the seat in front of them. Peace on Earth. Or at least in the Air.

This entry was posted on December 16, 2011 at 1:54 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Clippers jokes, Gringrich jokes, Lakers jokes, Newt jokes, Perry jokes, Tim Tebow jokes