Archive for July 12, 2011

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Derby time.

July 12, 2011

Open note to readers- back to back posts today because I clearly did not hit the “publish” button hard enough last night.

In any case….

So the Home Run Derby came down to Robinson Cano (Yankees), and Adrian Gonzalez (Red Sox.) New York vs. Boston. Are we sure we weren’t watching Fox’s regular Game of the Week?

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Sarah Palin may be a hockey mom, but I’m not sure she gets other sports. When asked if she had a prediction for the Home Run Derby, she apologized but said she really hadn’t kept up on what horses were running.

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In the MLB HomeRun Derby, Robinson Cano beat Adrian Gonzalez 12-11 to take the 2011 championship. As if we didn’t need another illustration of how good pitching can overcome no hitting, no player on the first-place San Francisco Giants has hit 12 home runs this YEAR. (Or 11, or 10 for that matter.)

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Meanwhile, despite being voted in by the fans,  Derek Jerek now says he is completely skipping the All-Star Game and festivities due to “physical and emotional exhaustion.” Regarding the fans who wanted to see him play, I guess as a Yankee Jeter figures, “Fine, they can just watch me in the World Series.”

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Construction crews plan to completely shut down several miles of the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles for more than two days this weekend. Which means during peak times, traffic will be moving at its usual speed.

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A Jet Blue airline crew found a stun gun in a seatback pocket while cleaning a plane in Newark Monday night. The flight had originated in Boston, but made other stops during the day. In related news, TSA said they did confiscate their daily thousand or so bottled waters.

The California Assembly passed a bill to ban the “import, production, distribution or retail sale of beer and related alcoholic beverages that have caffeine added.” The reason is because these sweet drinks are particularly popular with young people. Hope no one ever tells the kids you can mix, say, Rum and Coke.

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Newt Gingrich declined to sign the controversial 14-point “Family Leader” pledge, but would not give a reason other than it needing “across the board” changes. A Gingrich spokesman did say the marriage vow “needed to be shortened.” Yeah, as in taking out that little line about staying faithful to your spouse.

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U.S.A!

July 12, 2011

The U.S. women beat Brazil to advance to the World Cup semifinals. Many U.S. sports fans are so excited they are considering actually watching a game.

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And real soccer fans had to love the whining afterwards, even though the U.S. won, about the bad calls.  An unreasonable red card, a questionable encroachment call, a goal that should have been waived off as offsides….   

It’s not that the calls may not have all been wrong, it’s that many of the bandwagon fans complaining had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.   

Reminds me of the Olympics and the ice skating competition, when suddenly the whole world is an expert on triple axels.

Ah well, the World Cup will soon be over and then most of them can go back to only worrying about red cards on Valentine’s Day.

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Although, really, a tying goal in the last few seconds of “extra time?”  The U.S.A. women are considering contacting the SF Giants to see if they can officially borrow that “Torture” slogan.

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And a random thought, if the U.S. ever joins up with Canada to form a team, can we all chant “U.S. Eh?”

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Hines Ward was arrested for a DUI Friday night, “Pacman” Jones was arrested at a bar Saturday night for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest…. Yep, looks like Ray Lewis was right about crime increasing during the NFL lockout.

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Monday will be a good television night for all women on the West Coast who fit into that Venn diagram by being fans of both sports and tacky reality shows – MLB’s Home Run Derby followed by “The Bachelorette.”

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Bristol Palin is the new voice of the abstinence movement. Isn’t this kind of like Newt Gingrich defending marriage?

(or as my friend Andy Dwan says,  Mike Tyson as the spokesperson for vegans.)

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Meanwhile, Sarah Palin says she doesn’t think there are enough GOP candidates for President.   But when asked if she will run Palin told Newsweek “I’m not so egotistical as to believe that it has to be me, but I do believe that I can win.” Okay, so Sarah’s not egotistical, she’s just bat sh*t crazy.

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Nice 5 for 5 from Derek Jeter Saturday when he got his 3,000 hit. The kind of performance that justified fans voting him to the All-Star game despite his 2011 batting average in the .250 range.

And the “Captain” rewards that loyalty by saying he’s not even going to show up in Phoenix -“it’s best not to try to push it.” Yet another example of why the Yankees are so beloved outside New York.

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President Obama is taking heat from the left and right during this debt ceiling crisis.   And really, how dare he?  The guy who campaigned as a moderate, is actually trying to govern as a moderate.

Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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