Posted tagged ‘Steve Poizner jokes’

Losses and other Imperfections

June 7, 2010

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez praised Armando Galarraga’s sportsmanship and said on his weekly TV/radio program “Everyone knows he pitched a perfect game.”

Congratulations to Bud Selig. It takes some work to cede the moral high ground to Hugo Chavez.


John Wooden said “Sports do not build character, they reveal it.” Was there ever a truer example of that than this week? Armando Galarraga and Jim Joyce more than rose to the occasion, and Bud Selig was, well, Bud Selig.


The way Los Angeles fans are going on about the officiating in game 2, I have to hope Jim Joyce isn’t ever umping at first on the off-chance some Dodger gets close to a perfect game. They would burn the stadium to the ground.


But to be fair for Lakers fans, I guess it’s really easy to get upset over a game you think you should have won, when it’s been a whole year since you last won a championship.


The Milwaukee Brewers bullpen has blown over half their save opportunities this year. At this point they’re doing such a bad job of throwing oil on troubled waters they may be sponsored by BP.


But over in San Francisco, is it somewhere buried in Brian Wilson’s contract that he is not allowed to throw a 1-2-3 ninth inning?

For that matter, while I’m ranting. Since Todd Wellemeyer’s ERA is now over 10 on the road, here’s a few suggestions the next time his turn is up.

1. Forfeit the game and give the rest of the lineup a day off. This will at least have the team rested and ready for the next game.

2. Pick a random bullpen guy to start and let him and the pen pitch by committee.

3. Bring up any random AAA or AA guy for a start. How much worse can they be?


This is just a great story. From the not always so conservative South, as reported in Florida Today:

Pensacola, Florida home of the Brevard County Manatees, has already had oil washing up on its shore. And the Manatees are not happy.

So the team (a Class A affiliate of the Brewers) has announced they are changing the name of batting practice, usually known as “BP,” to “hitting rehearsal.”

Meanwhile as we approach the primary vote in California:

Republican Gubernatorial candidate Steve Poizner’s latest effort to court conservatives – “Being a dad has taught me why exactly gay marriage is wrong. I’ve learned firsthand the importance of kids having a mom and a dad.”

I wonder if Poizner took time out of his busy schedule today to wish the childless Rush Limbaugh congratulations on his fourth marriage.


And his opponent, Meg Whitman, the $100 million candidate, says her complete lack of political experience and connections makes her the best person to run the state.

Just wondering, if Whitman were still on the board of EBay and they needed to hire a new CEO, how would she feel about hiring someone who bragged, “I can run this company better than anyone else because I have absolutely no business training or work experience.”

Double trouble?

May 21, 2010

KFC originally envisioned the “Double Down” as a temporary promotion. But the fast food chain said the sandwich with two pieces of fried chicken for a bun has become so popular that they will keep selling it indefinitely. To paraphrase P.T. Barnum, no one ever went broke underestimating the taste for greasy, fattening foods of the American public.

Tesla Motors and Toyota have announced a partnership to build electric cars in California. Does this mean Tesla will change their motto to “Ain’t no stopping us now?”


Bizarre travel thought of the day. You cannot use cash to buy a beer onboard most airlines these days, but you can use cash to buy a one way ticket to Pakistan.


Despite spending $68 million of her own money in the California GOP gubernatorial primary (so far), Meg Whitman has seen her 50 point lead in the polls over Steve Poizner drop to single digits. The former Ebay executive is particularly frustrated that the election didn’t just have a “Buy-it-now” button.


You have to love it though, Poizner has spent $28 million of his own money. And he is getting traction out of accusing Whitman, who has spent $60 million of her own money, of buying the election.


And this is all just to run as the GOP candidate for governor of a state in the midst of a huge budget crisis with no apparent way out. Haven’t seen rich people waste so much money on winning such a dubious prize since the last America’s Cup.


Latest quote from Richard Blumenthal. “I wore the uniform” during Vietnam. Is he now saying he worked at McDonalds?


At this point Blumenthal may own the distinction of being the U.S. politician who has most embarrassed himself while still keeping his pants zipped.


Paul McCartney is playing at San Francisco’s A T and T Park in July. Not to say Sir Paul is getting old, but the Giants tried to sign him to play the outfield.


Kevin Costner has funded a science team that has developed an “oil extracter.” And BP may be able to use the device to clean up their spill in the Gulf. Well, who better to be an expert on toxic messes than the man who made “Waterworld?”

From Bill Littlejohn – Brett Favre told the Southern Mississippi University baseball team that if they make it to the College World Series, he’ll play for one more year. If they don’t make it to the World Series, he’ll play two more. Or maybe three, or maybe two…