Left Coast Sports Babe

Magnitude 5.8 earthquake shakes Virginia, D.C. and New York. Maybe God is trying to knock some sense into Congress and Wall Street…

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Arizona Diamondbacks are in D.C. this week to play the Nationals. Does that mean we can call them “rattled-snakes?”

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The earthquake felt from DC to NY to Boston was originally announced as a 5.9. Out in California, sports fans have heard the quake may not have hit that hard, it’s just that usual East Coast bias.

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After today’s big quake can we have at least a 30 day moratorium on East Coasters referring to West Coasters as wimps?

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Fortunately, there were no airport closures due to the earthquake. There were, however, several air traffic controllers jostled awake from their naps.

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One of my clients has a Washington, D.C. office and a Menlo Park office. A Washington employee today sent an email to his colleagues in California titled “Five reasons I’m glad I work in D.C. instead of Menlo Park.” Upon opening the email the message was “Make that four.”

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FEMA just announced there is a significant possibility of an earthquake hitting the Washington D.C. area in this decade.

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Jerry Leiber of the songwriting duo Leiber and Stoller passed away Monday. The two wrote, amongst other songs, “Hound Dog” and “Jailhouse Rock.” Not, however, as would be appropriate with today’s quake “All Shook Up.”

The men’s golf team from Bethany College, a small Lutheran college in Kansas, has been suspended for three tournaments. This after the young men posed for a picture (posted on Facebook) naked except for strategically placed drivers. Let us all pray this idea never occurs to John Daly.

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Tacky time: The Washington Monument will be closed to visitors indefinitely after a post-quake crack was discovered in its tip. This could be the biggest problem with an erection in D.C. since Clinton was in office.

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PETA’s latest tactic is a pornographic website to promote veganism. The website will start with erotic teasers on a sex-with-vegetables theme and then show graphic images of animal suffering. I can see husbands now “Honest, honey, I’m just looking at the site to help baby animals.”

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Northwestern University researchers have found evidence that at least some men who identify themselves as bisexual are, in fact, (duh) sexually aroused by both women and men. Michele and Marcus Bachmann, however, heard this and stated that they believe “buy-sexual” just means men going to prostitutes.