Posted tagged ‘Mark Cuban jokes’

Drive time:

June 15, 2011

Oregon star cornerback Cliff Harris was caught driving 118 mph on a suspended license early last Sunday morning.  But wait, it gets better. Turns out according to ESPN that the car was rented and paid for by a female university employee.  Who says that a friend of Harris’s asked to use the car, and paid her the cost of the rental in cash.

The woman added that she had no idea Harris would drive the car, and didn’t even know if his friend is on the team.

Yep, this should silence all those naysayers who say the Ducks don’t have a big-time football program.

(Not sure what will happen to Harris and his friend, but the woman, if she is fired by Oregon, should have a great chance to be hired by Jim Tressel.)

New OSU head football coach Luke Fickell, a former assistant to Jim Tressel, said he had no idea about any NCAA rules violations: “I wasn’t going to say that I had blinders on, but I was very focused. I was not informed of any information until it became public knowledge.” Considering the cars his players were driving, having blinders on might have been Fickell’s best defense.

Dirk Nowitzki, on Mark Cuban’s comment that he might want to reward the team with something other than “old school” rings – “I think I would vote for a ring. I mean, I’m a man. I don’t know how I’d feel about a bracelet. I’ve gotta go with a ring.” Besides in the NBA, when most players hear “bracelet,” they think “ankle.”

Justin Verlander almost threw his third no-hitter tonight. Most teams look at him and think “I hope we don’t have to face him this year.” The Yankees think “I wonder how he’ll look in pinstripes.”

Crystal Harris has apparently just called off her Saturday wedding to Hugh Hefner. Maybe Hef shouldn’t have told her about that pre-nuptial physical in which the doctor told him he was in good health and likely to live for many more years….

A second judge turned down a request by Prop 8 supporters to disqualify the judge who overturned California’s ban on same-sex marriage, simply because the first judge was in a long-term relationship with another man. Makes sense, we don’t disqualify heterosexual judges in all rulings involving traditional marriages.

Mark Cuban left a $20,000 tip at a Miami Beach nightclub after the Mavericks’ celebration party.  Along with a free tip for the Heat ownership – it takes more than three superstars to make a team

For their NBA finals win over Miami, Governor John Kasich of Ohio just declared the Mavericks honorary Ohioans. For their surrender in the fourth quarter, how long will it take for the Heat to be declared honorary French?.

Commie pinko time:

GOP 2000 – George W. will make our strong economy stronger. GOP 2004 – we need to re-elect Bush as the best man to fix the economy after 9/11. GOP 2008 – Bush did as well as anyone could have with this tough global economy, McCain will keep us on the right track. GOP 2012 – It’s all Obama’s fault.