Posted tagged ‘Jerry Perisho’

How the mighty have fallen…

June 25, 2010

The defending World Cup champions didn’t even make it out of the first round. This is one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to Italy, well, without Catholic priests involved.


The Netherlands will take a perfect 3-0 record into the round of 16 at the World Cup. Which means group E will go down in history as the “Dutch Crunch.”

Americans are apparently now actually starting to tune into the World Cup. So the real winner when Donovan scored that late goal against Algeria? ESPN.


Apparently the U.S.-Algeria match broke records for Americans watching on Espn.com. Which considering that the match was during the work day, could have gotten a lot of people fired. Assuming they had jobs to be fired from.


The Isner-Mahut match lasted three days. That’s longer than Britney Spears’ first marriage.

(although for any British readers, shorter than a cricket test match.)

John Isner 70 – Nicholas Mahut 68. Give the Frenchman credit. He lasted longer than his country did in World War II.


A California couple was arrested for allegedly trying to sell their 6-month-old baby for $25 outside a Walmart store. They were charged both with child endangerment and illegally undercutting Walmart prices.

The former Bachelor and his former fiancee, Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi, deny that they basically are nothing but shallow publicity hounds. And they further announced they will sit down for joint interviews to explain their breakup on the Bachelorette, and of course other interested shows.


Toy Story 3 has grossed over $100 million already. This gives the movie the record for the most profit ever made from artificially-created figures since the last Los Angeles plastic surgeons’ convention.


Let’s hope the iPhone 4 craze slows down before next Friday’s opening of “Eclipse,” the latest Twilight movie. Otherwise it could be really scary with those potentially intersecting long lines. Some of these people could actually meet and mate.


Inspired by Jerry Perisho, who suggested that since Carly Simon is turning 65 this weekend, that the song “Nobody does it better” is now the theme song for Metamucil.

Now the reason Carly has “No Secrets,” is she can’t remember them anymore.

And Simon is working on a remake of a hit – now dedicated to her women friends – “You’re so Varicose Veined.”

Northern California has started toll carpool lanes, so drivers will be able to buy their way into the fast lanes. They got the idea from Meg Whitman, who hopes to buy her way into the fast lane all the way to Sacramento.

The most dominant…

July 9, 2009

Sports Illustrated ran an article questioning who is the most dominant athlete in their sport – Tiger Woods or Roger Federer. What, no consideration of Joey Chestnut?


Pablo Sandoval of the SF Giants finished second in the fan voting for the last All Star roster addition, after Philadelphia partnered with Detroit to urge fans to vote jointly for the Phillies’ Shane Victorino and the Tigers’ Brandon Inge.

Unfortunately, right now you don’t want to enter a contest with people from Detroit where the winner is determined by who has the most time on their hands.


Four people who worked at a Chicago cemetery were charged with digging up bodies, dumping them, and reselling the grave plots. Authorities became suspicious when more cemetery residents voted than normal.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush would not answer when asked if he believed President Obama was a socialist, saying, “I don’t know, define socialism.” He had a similar response to a question about his brother George – “I don’t know, define idiocy.”

Amongst the many high profile celebrities at Maria Shriver’s annual women’s conference will be…Kate Gosselin? What exactly has this woman done anyway besides taking fertility drugs and making a spectacle of herself on television? Was Manny Ramirez not available?


Actually, and this was inspired by the very funny Jerry Perisho, who noted how

“British scientists claim to have created human sperm from embryonic stem cells for the first time. … thereby rendering the human male completely unnecessary, other than to carry in the trash cans once a week”

Now we know the real reason Manny was taking those fertility drugs. He just wanted to stay relevant.


After Chad Ochocinco said he would twitter during games, the NFL said they would look into the issue, and has now issued a ruling prohibiting in-game tweets.

A Fox Sports poll is asking fans if they thought the player would test the rule. The current results, 80 percent have said “Yes.” The other 20 percent have clearly not been watching Ochicinco.