Posted tagged ‘hot dog eating jokes’

Hot dogs and pizza and pie, oh my

July 4, 2012

Chuck E. Cheese is planning to do a major revamp of their mascot into a hipper rodent rock star with an electric guitar. Maybe they’d be better off to spend the money revamping their pizza?

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California congressman “Pete” Stark told reporters today he’s not likely to debate his opponent this fall because “we’d only get stupid questions like you’re asking.” Is Stark running for re-election, or aspiring to be Governor of New Jersey?

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Suspended New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton and his wife have filed for divorce. Wonder if she couldn’t face the idea of him around the house for a year.

 

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Tuesday was the official weigh-in for New York’s annual July Fourth hot dog eating contest – one sport where Americans still can claim world domination.

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The forecast in San Francisco for July 4 is for cool weather and fog that may unfortunately obscure fireworks. “Oh STFU” said residents of most of the midwest and east coast.

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No one but Tony La Russa really knows if he left Cincinnati’s Johnny Cueto or Brandon Phillips because of a 2010 brawl between the Reds and the Cardinals. But remember this, La Russa is a man who intentionally walked Barry Bonds… in spring training.

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Salon reports that a “source” says Justice John Roberts not only authored the majority opinion upholding Obamacare, but also much of the dissent. If true, who does Roberts think he is? Mitt Romney?

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Mets general manager Sandy Alderson sent out this tweet today: “Wright vs. Sandoval: A city of 8 million was outvoted by a city of 800,000.” Brian Sabean probably should refrain from responding “It’s constitutional, bitches.

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Just wondering New York Mets fans….where was the outrage in 2009 when David Wright was voted to the All-Star team, although Pablo Sandoval had much better numbers?

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From Gary M.:  How successful was SF’s get out the vote campaign?   Sandoval also won Mexico’s Presidential election, yesterday.

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Michele Bachmann was asked if she was being vetted by the Romney campaign as a running mate. Her response: “Whoever it is that he chooses to bring in as his V.P., it will be a highly competent person who could step in at a moment’s notice and assume the responsibilities of the White House.” If true, she’s not being vetted.

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Nine people were injured in New Hampshire Tuesday night, when a fireworks explosion inside a home set it ablaze. Do newspaper editors have this template ready every July 4 so they can just change the location and details on the injuries?

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NY state rep, Marty Golden, 63. facing a great deal of criticism, cancelled his planned business etiquette event on “posture, deportment and the feminine presence.” where women would learn “sit, stand and walk like a model.” Even Chris Christie had to be thinking Golden is out of touch with women.

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R.I.P. Andy Griffith. You know you might be getting old if you remember he had a show before “Matlock.”