Posted tagged ‘hot dog eating jokes’

Hot dogs and pizza and pie, oh my

July 4, 2012

Chuck E. Cheese is planning to do a major revamp of their mascot into a hipper rodent rock star with an electric guitar. Maybe they’d be better off to spend the money revamping their pizza?

California congressman “Pete” Stark told reporters today he’s not likely to debate his opponent this fall because “we’d only get stupid questions like you’re asking.” Is Stark running for re-election, or aspiring to be Governor of New Jersey?

Suspended New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton and his wife have filed for divorce. Wonder if she couldn’t face the idea of him around the house for a year.


Tuesday was the official weigh-in for New York’s annual July Fourth hot dog eating contest – one sport where Americans still can claim world domination.

The forecast in San Francisco for July 4 is for cool weather and fog that may unfortunately obscure fireworks. “Oh STFU” said residents of most of the midwest and east coast.

No one but Tony La Russa really knows if he left Cincinnati’s Johnny Cueto or Brandon Phillips because of a 2010 brawl between the Reds and the Cardinals. But remember this, La Russa is a man who intentionally walked Barry Bonds… in spring training.

Salon reports that a “source” says Justice John Roberts not only authored the majority opinion upholding Obamacare, but also much of the dissent. If true, who does Roberts think he is? Mitt Romney?

Mets general manager Sandy Alderson sent out this tweet today: “Wright vs. Sandoval: A city of 8 million was outvoted by a city of 800,000.” Brian Sabean probably should refrain from responding “It’s constitutional, bitches.

Just wondering New York Mets fans….where was the outrage in 2009 when David Wright was voted to the All-Star team, although Pablo Sandoval had much better numbers?

From Gary M.:  How successful was SF’s get out the vote campaign?   Sandoval also won Mexico’s Presidential election, yesterday.

Michele Bachmann was asked if she was being vetted by the Romney campaign as a running mate. Her response: “Whoever it is that he chooses to bring in as his V.P., it will be a highly competent person who could step in at a moment’s notice and assume the responsibilities of the White House.” If true, she’s not being vetted.

Nine people were injured in New Hampshire Tuesday night, when a fireworks explosion inside a home set it ablaze. Do newspaper editors have this template ready every July 4 so they can just change the location and details on the injuries?

NY state rep, Marty Golden, 63. facing a great deal of criticism, cancelled his planned business etiquette event on “posture, deportment and the feminine presence.” where women would learn “sit, stand and walk like a model.” Even Chris Christie had to be thinking Golden is out of touch with women.

R.I.P. Andy Griffith. You know you might be getting old if you remember he had a show before “Matlock.”