Posted tagged ‘George W. Bush jokes’

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page

Oh brother.

May 1, 2014

George W. Bush said today he hopes his brother Jeb runs for President in 2016. Maybe W. misses those little White House boxes of M & Ms?

–

George W. Bush, in the interview where he says he hopes his brother runs, said “Hey Jeb, if you need some advice, give me a call.” And Hillary Clinton is thinking “Why stop at a call, you brothers should campaign together…”

–

All this talk about Jeb Bush being handicapped for a possible Presidential run by his name. If Jeb’s last name was Smith he’d probably be another no-name former Southern GOP governor.

—

#Sharks went from looking unstoppable to dead in the water so quickly, have to wonder if Richard Dreyfuss was somehow involved. #SJSharks

–

At least the San Jose Sharks are guaranteed not to disappoint their fans this May.

–

Both gasoline prices and the stock market are at 2014 highs. And the GOP is trying to convince voters President Obama has everything to do with the former, and nothing to do with the latter.

–

Another reason the San Antonio Spurs just don’t fit the NBA mold. Tony Parker, 31, barely made last night’s game because of the birth of his FIRST child.

–

The Lakers are apparently interested in hiring John Calipari. But not sure Calipari is interested in coaching prima donnas he can’t get rid of after a year.

–

After his second crack cocaine video, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford now says he will take a leave of absence to enter rehab. This should make his approval rating go up another 5-10 points.

–

 

Aaron Hernandez has now been indicted in an alleged February assault and an alleged November threat at his jail. I know Hernandez is talented, but at this point he’s risking being kicked off the “All-Thug” NFL team.

–

The head of the Los Angeles NAACP resigned over their planned lifetime achievement award to Donald Sterling. Have to wonder, who else was on that list for the award?

–

–

An Alabama store reportedly  was selling $17.00 a pound king crab legs labeled “Jameis Winston King Crab Legs.” Of course, Cam Newton would never have been involved in such a shoplifting incident while at Auburn. Someone would have given the seafood to his father.

–

Guessing SF Giants manager Bruce Bochy doesn’t cook much. Matt Cain missed a start when he cut himself making a sandwich. And Bochy said yesterday that Cain is “making us all sandwiches right now. With a real real dull butter knife.” As most women know, dull knives can be the likeliest to cut you as they stick and slip…..

–

Edward Snowden expects to have his asylum renewed in Russia. But his attorney says he “misses America and would like to be able to come home. We just don’t see that happening in the near future.” Uh, not “coming home” is not the problem. Snowden not wanting to face charges when he comes home IS the problem.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: 4 Comments

Transitions.

February 11, 2011

President Mubarak of Egypt did not resign today, but he did delegate all real power to his Vice President. Responded George W. Bush “Been there, done that.”

–

 The Metrodome landlords decided today to replace, not repair, the snow damaged roof for next season. So for the Vikings in 2011, that’s now two aging relics that won’t be back.

–

Sarah Palin referred to Rick Santorum as a “knuckle-dragging Neanderthal.” Wow, wonder who helped her write that on her hand?

–

Regarding events in Egypt. We may do a lot of things wrong in this country but we sure do a neat and orderly job of transferring Presidential power on January 20 every four or eight years.

–

The Cleveland Cavaliers lost again, tying the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for the longest losing streak by a professional sports team. Although, really, when you lose 26 in a row, don’t you kind of forfeit the right to call yourself a professional sports team?

–

 Los Angeles judge set bail for Lindsay Lohan in her felony theft case and told the troubled star not to “push her luck.” Then the judge had to leave the courtroom to get home. Since his horse was out in the field and he needed to close the barn door behind it.

–

Well, although the entire world expected his resignation speech, Egyptian President Mubarak said he would “delegate powers” but refused to leave. “Doesn’t this guy know when to quit?” asked Brett Favre?

–

The Cleveland Cavaliers are desperate for wins after losing 26 straight. At this point their only hope might be March Madness – with a decent seed they might make it through the first weekend.

–

While no one knows for sure if Congresswoman Giffords will be able to return to Washington, she did utter an intelligible phrase this week. Which already puts her ahead of many current members of Congress.

–

Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan abruptly resigned in the middle of the season, apparently deciding he was done with professional basketball. Wonder if he’s got any interest in the Cavaliers job?

–

Mike Simpson, a Republican on the House Appropriations Committee says that the fight to cut spending could lead to a government shut down.   This is different from the current situation how?

–

Great quote from Ben Cohen in the Wall Street Journal: “These are strange times, even by California’s standards. The San Francisco Giants are World Series champions for the first time, Stanford boasts the West Coast’s best football team and Los Angeles’s marquee NBA draw, Blake Griffin, plays for the Clippers.”

from Jim Barach: Three alien hunters say that scientists should develop a protocol for sending intelligible communications to life on other planets. That pretty much rules out text messaging.

Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Comments: 2 Comments

Beyond My Pet Goat…

April 28, 2010

Former President George W. Bush’s “Decision Points” will be out in November. Originally it was intended to be a much longer book due out in 2011. Until Sarah Palin gave him the advice – Ah, just quit and say you’re done.”

–

“Decision Points,”George W. Bush’s new book, will be in the stores November 9. The former President is very excited. Laura has promised to read it to him.

–

–
Once again, an exploration team claims to have discovered the remains of Noah’s Ark. The team hope to authenticate their find by a written account they found amongst the wooden beams, detailing a pre-trip interview Noah had on “Larry King Live.”

–
–
Prince Andrew’s and Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson’s daughter Princess Beatrice became the first royal to complete the London Marathon this past weekend. Although Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, still holds the record as the only royal to compete in the Grand National. (Yeah, I know, too easy and too mean, but someone’s got to do it.)

–
Brazil’s Health Minister has started a national campaign against high blood pressure by telling Brazilians they need more cardiovascular workouts – workouts that include sex. In related news, Tiger Woods has flown down to Rio to negotiate for an endorsement deal.

–
So what will constitute reason to suspect someone is an illegal immigrant in Arizona? Not sure, but if your last name contains a lot of those high-value Scrabble consonants, maybe you should start paying cash instead of putting down a credit card.

–
In Santa Clara County, California, supervisors have voted to ban Happy Meals and any other toy giveaway with fast-food meals. Great, now instead of rewarding their children with a toy as part of their meal, parents can instead buy them dessert.

–
I can see it now, instead of the old days when kids would drive across state or county lines to buy liquor that might have been banned in their home town, parents will drive to the nearest county to get their kids the toy of the week.

–

And NON-commie pinko sidebar:

In Moraga, California, a St. Mary’s College singing instructor has been disciplined for having a student sing “Old Man River” in class, which contains the phrase “colored folk.” Well, guess they’ll be tossing Huckleberry Finn and Shakespeare out of the library next.

(don’t get me wrong. I hate racism and I am mostly pro-affirmative action. But the song, written by Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein-hardly WASPS themselves- was a period piece from the play “Showboat,” and made a star out of Paul Robeson, who actually sung the lyric with the term “darkies.”)

–

This item inspired by a joke by Alex Kaseberg, who pointed out on his blog that the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus has merged with the San Diego Men’s Chorus. (And said there hasn’t been a merger this seamless since Siegfried joined up with Roy.)

The most common reaction in San Diego? They were separate entities?

–
Speaking of which, if any readers watch American Idol (okay, guys, you can skip this last one), tonight was Shaina Twain. Anyone but me a little sorry it wasn’t last year? Would have enjoyed hearing Adam Lambert try his hand at “Feel Like a Woman.”

–

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags:

Comments: Be the first to comment