Posted tagged ‘Fiesta Bowl jokes’

Caucused?

January 4, 2012

Okay, now in all seriousness, the combined votes for Romney and Santorum in the Iowa caucuses….approximately equal the population of Palo Alto, California. (Just under 59.000. Total.)

About 120,000 voters voted period. Which is less than the population of Sunnyvale, California. (To out of state or out of country readers that’s a suburb several miles from San Jose, about 131,000 people.)

Maybe we should just move the Iowa caucuses to some small towns in California. Same number of random votes, better weather.

Rick Santorum lost by only eight votes in Iowa. After losing his 2006 re-election to the Senate by a record margin, and saying this week he believes states have the right to ban birth control and sodomy (which, google it, includes what Bill did with Monica.) Guess this answers one question -how much do many Republicans hate Mitt Romney?

The mud is flying fast and furious in Iowa as we approach the caucuses tonight. This probably does mean good news, however, for one candidate – President Obama.

The Las Vegas Hilton has changed its name to “The Las Vegas Hotel & Casino,” dropping the Hilton name. Wonder how many times over the past decade the Hilton family has hoped Paris would do the same thing.

Another potential winner in tonight’s Iowa caucuses? Hillary Clinton. Seriously. Because if she figures Obama will be re-elected but hasn’t ruled out 2016, Clinton has to be looking at this field and figure she can beat all of them with half her brain tied behind her pantsuit.

Want to cut down on your soda consumption? How about this story, where a man is claiming to have found a mouse inside of a Mountain Dew can. Pepsi’s expert testified if a mouse HAD gotten into a can that it would have been dissolved in the soda’s acid, and transformed into a “jelly like substance.”

Stanford coach David Shaw quoted Tuesday in the SF Chronicle: “We can’t settle for field goals against a good football team.” Uh, well then why play for one at the end?


Happiest people in America right now, after Stanford’s snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and following Oregon and Boise State’s earlier costly last second losses this season -any parents of a good high school kicker looking for a scholarship.


Apparently Stanford’s kicker was “Tebowing” it in prayer on the sidelines before his end of regulation missed kick. Guess he hasn’t seen Tim’s results the past few weeks.

From T.C. Observation on Totitos Fiesta Bowl: One player is definitely Toast(titos)in next NFL Draft – the Stanford Field Goal kicker. Somewhere a Stanford music teacher is saying, “we should have signed that kid up to play in the band!”

Luck is not enough.

January 3, 2012

Stanford’s field goal kicker picked a bad time to turn into an honorary Seminole.

As T.C. said, however, at least he didn’t miss wide right.

Just imagining a tie NFL game with Brees, Brady or Rodgers and 52 seconds to go with three time outs on the opponents 25 yard line…. Can’t imagine a coach playing for the field goal.

To be fair, Williamson had been good earlier in the year. If he had had a game like this in the regular season they might not have been in a BCS bowl. (See Boise State.)


Andrew Luck almost did it all tonight. Too bad he couldn’t kick.

Think it’s time to declare a moratorium on Tiger Woods’ appearance as a Stanford honorary co-captain. The time before tonight’s loss was November 2009, when the heavily-favored Cardinal was upset by Cal in the Big Game. And then there was that little Thanksgiving incident in the same month.


Weird grumpy Fiesta Bowl trivial fact – Oklahoma State never led in regulation.

We’re coming to the end of Capitol One Bowl Week, which started about December 17. And they wonder why football players are bad at math.

All this hype about Iowa. And the total number of people who will vote in the caucuses will be fewer than a capacity crowd at Cowboys Stadium.

Rick Santorum thinks he is the most electable conservative. Considering he lost his last Senate bid by 18 % (largest margin ever for a GOP senator from Pennsylvania), it sounds like his math is as good as Rick Perry’s.

Online Bloomingdale’s ad for the “Last Day of Our After Christmas Sale.” Fully expect tomorrow to see the ad somewhere “Only 358 shopping days until next Christmas.”

A confident Mitt Romney on the eve of the Iowa Caucuses – “We’re going to win this thing with all of our passion and strength.” This might be the first time “Romney” and “passion” have appeared in the same sentence.