Posted tagged ‘clemson jokes’

And then there was #1

January 9, 2017

Only bad thing about Clemson’s amazing win is that somewhere Lane Kiffin is smirking.

At the end, only thing that could have saved #Alabama & #NickSaban was the #Stanford band. #NationalChampionship

The National Championship was close to 4 hours long with over  4 minutes left in 4th. Even Yankees and Red Sox were saying “guys, speed it up already.”

Steelers assistant coach Joey Porter was arrested last night outside a Pittsburgh bar after allegedly assaulting the doorman. Porter is charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, resisting arrest, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct.
Wow.. Imagine what might have happened if Pittsburgh actually lost.

On a brighter note for the #Raiders, their 13 point loss to the #Texans was the closest game of Wild Card weekend. @espn

 

Tom Brady about the upcoming game with the Texans “There is nothing easy about this game for our offense.” He had the grace not to add “our defense, however, is salivating.”

Early this morning @realDonaldTrump called #MerylStreep “over-rated.” So congratulations to all those who had “about 8 hours” in the pool.

So if any country wants to launch attack on USA during Trump’s presidency, guess they just need the distraction of a celebrity insulting him.

Marissa Mayer apparently will resign from Yahoo when the sale to Verizon is finalized. Will Mayer then run for office in California touting her business experience?

John Kerry issued a formal State Department apology today for “decades of discrimination against LGBT employees and job applicants.”
Waiting for the House GOP rebuttal.

Donald Trump has fired Charlie Brotman, 88, the Inaugural parade announcer for every President back to Eisenhower in 1957, and replaced him with a 58-year-old volunteer.
Anyone known one of those male cats who gets introduced to a new home and has to urinate in EVERY single corner to mark his territory?

Trump hurting a lot of feelings w/ his inaugural parade. He fires 88-year-old announcer, then tells Chris Christie he can’t be a float.

Trump’s now to officially name son-in-law Jared Kushner as a senior White House advisor per @NBCNews “#IfthePresidentdoesititisnotillegal

An Emirates Air flight from from Muscat, Oman to Dubai was cancelled yesterday after baggage handlers found a loose snake on board. Wonder how they decided the snake was loose – if it was female maybe it wasn’t wearing a hijab?.

Trump met today with the chair of Alibaba. The Chinese company was placed back last month on a list of counterfeit marketplaces by the United States Trade Representative over selling fake and pirated goods. But maybe Trump isn’t worried, figuring no one would want to make knock-off Trump branded merchandise.

 

Monica Crowley, Trump’s choice for director of communications for the National Security Council, was recently accused of many instances of plagiarism in her 2012 book, and in a 1999 Wall Street Journal article. Now Politico says they have found several more instances of plagiarism in her dissertation.
Maybe Crowley doesn’t want to the NSC job, but rather to be Melania’s speechwriter.

Kellyanne Conway complained today about Democrats calling for an independent bipartisan commission to investigate election allegations about Russa. “It’s curious and a little bit humorous that Democrats would talk about anything bipartisan … given how they have vowed to obstruct everything we do.”
Just wondering, where was Kellyanne’s outrage when Mitch McConnell in January 2009 vowed to make Obama a one-term president?

The convicted Charleston mass murderer (yes, I am deliberately not using his name), asked the judge in his death penalty trial not to allow the prosecution to use words like “evil.”
Uh, actually while the word is overused, seems like this is one of those times “evil” is completely appropriate.

Ich bin Berliner

December 20, 2016

The picture is from 2 years and 6 days ago,  at a different Berlin Christmas market. But hey, if we stop traveling, the bad guys win.

berlin

Ugh. Too much death today. And then Trump tweets “Today there were terror attacks in Turkey, Switzerland and Germany – and it is only getting worse. The civilized world must change thinking!
Uh, in Switzerland, it was Muslim men that were attacked. And in Turkey it appears the motive was vengeance about Aleppo. #notthatsimple.

ESPN.com reports Clemson QB Deshaun Watson, 2nd in the Heisman voting, said today “I’m the best player in the country. That’s how I think. That’s how I feel. People have their own way of voting.”
Well, it’s probably a good thing for Watson that no one at Ohio State reads anything on the internet.

Christian McCaffrey says he will doesn’t want to risk his NFL career and will sit out the Sun Bowl. So guess outside of Stanford and UNC fans, that will still mean the game gets a few dozen national viewers.

But makes sense, McCaffery was smart enough to get into Stanford, he’s smart enough to know it’s not worth risking millions of dollars in potential future earnings over a meaningless bowl in El Paso.

FIFA has fined England, Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland over wearing poppies on their armbands for Armistice Day, claiming that the flowers are now a “political” symbol. Even officials at the No Fun League are going WTF

After every Islamic terrorist act, some want to register Muslims, but after every U.S. mass shooting, same folks don’t want to register guns

Eric and Donald Jr. Trump are offering $500,000 donors to “sportsmens’ charities” a private reception with their father Donald, as well as a hunting trip with one of the sons. Hmm, can we crowdfund a donation for Dick Cheney?

You know @realDonaldTrump could just say “Merry Christmas” without trying to make a war out of it.

Another snow warning has been issued for Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea on the Big Island of Hawaii. So now only apparently would hell freeze over when Trump got elected, but heaven too.

Trump’s pick for Secretary of the Army, billionaire Florida Panthers owner Vincent Viola. Well, Viola did graduate from the USMA and served in both the 101st Airborne and the Army Reserves. And maybe since he owns an NHL team, Trump figures Viola also knows all about fighting?

Trump to announce his new Secretary of Veterans Affairs soon. Can I put money on a billionaire draft-dodger with no healthcare experience?

Brief detour from snark: Have to say, not that it really matters what I think but having the electors refuse to vote for Trump seemed like a really bad idea. I’m genuinely worried about him as President, but talk about a scary, slippery slope into complete anarchy.
Personally I also doubt he will “grow into” the office, but suppose we need to at least wait and see. Which doesn’t mean liberals rolling over. In one of the few times I will quote a Stanford rival school, ‘Fight on.”