Posted tagged ‘Brett Favre’

Website for the octuplets?

February 12, 2009

Nadya Suleman, the mother of those in-vitro octuplets, has now got a website for people to donate money to help her take care of her now fourteen children.

What’s the site’s title? “”

With all the struggles President Obama is having with a stimulus package, maybe an easy start would just be to have Michelle buy one new outfit a day, and post her picture in it on a website.

(Could in all seriousness jumpstart the clothing business)

In these uncertain times, many Americans find themselves looking around for something stable. And yes, despite all the other changes in this world the past year, Brett Favre is still retiring.

New toast in Green Bay – may your troubles last as long as Brett Favre’s retirements.

Wells Fargo has been criticized for their plans to take executives on a junket to Las Vegas. In the bank’s defence, the blackjack tables might have been a better bet than some of their subprime mortgages.

Basically many banks seem to have thrown millions and millions of dollars around casually, with little oversight or concern for results. Who did they think they were, the New York Yankees?

In Mexico, Blockbuster Video was giving soccer fans voodoo dolls that were likenesses of American players before the two national teams met in a World Cup qualifier. To no avail. The U.S. shut out Mexico 2-0.

But come on, if voodoo really worked, wouldn’t the New Orleans Saints have won a Super Bowl or two by now?


The most watched Super Bowl?

February 3, 2009

Despite a less than marquee matchup between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals, this year’s Super Bowl was the second-most watched ever. Well, yeah, at this point most Americans couldn’t afford to go out and do anything else.

Although spring training starts in a few weeks, Manny Ramirez still has not decided where he will go for the 2009 season. Even Brett Favre is saying “Dude, make up your mind.”

Actually Manny Ramirez is looking for at least a four year contract. Presumably so in two years he can complain and say he wants out of it.

Though speaking of Brett Favre, New York Jets general manager Mike Tannebaum said he told Favre he can take “months if necessary” to decide if he will return for the 2009 season. Isn’t telling Brett Favre to take his time like telling Joe Biden “speak as long as you’d like?”

After that newspaper photo appeared of him smoking pot in an English newspaper, Michael Phelps said his behavior was “regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment.” Of course, mostly what he regrets is being too stoned to remember that these days most people have cellphone cameras.

Proof that not all my jokes are anti Republican.

Now we know why Democrats vote against cutting taxes. They don’t plan to pay them anyway.

But on the other hand:

In Pittsburgh, thanks to the Steelers, schoolchildren were given two hours off from school Monday morning after the Super Bowl. Former President George W. Bush heard about this and said that he thought it would be a nice gesture for the University of Phoenix to give their students the morning off too.

An Arizona station apologized to its viewers over their accidentally showing 30 seconds of pornography during the Super Bowl. Apparently the station received numerous complaints, mostly from men who wondered why they went back to the game so soon.

BCS -Big Conference $

January 10, 2009

As perhaps the most contested BCS – Big Conference $ – bowl season has come to an end….should we be surprised that the pivotal contest occurred in Florida?

Barack Obama has renewed his call for a college football playoff to avoid such contested results in future.   George W. Bush for his part believes we should use a more time-tested method to choose a winner – the Supreme Court.

And another but not the last comment on the excuse of not having playoffs because it wouldn’t be fair to the student-athletes….  Right, like Florida wide receiver Louis Murphy, a senior majoring in  –  I am not making this up -Recreation Event Management.

(Didn’t that used to be called partying?)


Barack Obama is now bringing his mother-in-law to Washington, so grandma will be in the White House.   Sarah Palin promptly accused Obama of stealing her 2012 campaign slogan.

Two of the most critically acclaimed movies now out are “Doubt” and “Defiance.”  Both might do better at the box office, however, if so many Americans didnt think they were documentaries on Rod Blagojevich.

Aother funny line from Bill Littlejohn:

 Milton Bradley donned Sammy Sosa‘s old No. 21 as he was introduced in Chicago.When someone asked him about his anger issues, Bradley suddenly couldn’t speak English”

Shane Lechler, the Oakland Raiders punter, was named this week to his fourth All-Pro team.   Not to diminish this achievement, but to be fair, Lechler does get more than his share of practice.

Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh, who has not signed his recent (and supposedly agreed-upon) contract extension, is now rumored to have interviewed for the New York Jets job.

So if Harbaugh ends up coaching Brett Favre will he tell Stanford that he wasn’t “fully committed” to his contract extension, and that he “felt pressured to make a decision?”

A case of New Year’s Whine…

January 4, 2009

As anyone who knows me or reads this blog knows, I am not a fan of the BCS system.

On the other hand, when USC coach Pete Carroll whines “Our team could beat anyone,”  it seems to me the logical response is, then why didn’t you beat Oregon State?   (Four other teams did… including the 5-7 Stanford Cardinal.)

Back to the other side, one of the arguments against a “plus one” at least playoff system is that it means the student-athletes involved would have to keep practicing and miss another week of school.  As opposed to the current system, where most of the big games are on New Year’s Day, and the two teams in the championship game…play EXACTLY one week later.

Ann Coulter is currently slamming Michelle Obama for her style.  Isn’t being slammed by Ann Coulter for your style like being slammed by George W. Bush for your speaking skills?


Or isn’t being slammed by Ann Coulter for your style like being slammed by Michael Jackson for your child care skills?


Or – last one for today.  Isn’t being slammed by Ann Coulter for your style kind of like being slammed by Brett Favre for your indecisiveness?

In Minnesota, where they may change the motto from “Land of a Thousand Lakes” to “Land of a Thousand Recounts,”  the Senate race goes on, and on.

At this point Minnesotans have to long for the good old days when they had nice simple elections and chose a pro-wrestler for governor.


Tacky joke alert again…


When Charles Barkley was busted for DUI, he explained his driving to the police officer by saying he was in a hurry to get oral sex.  Alas he’s about eight years too late for a last minute presidential pardon.

$300,000 for Bristol Palin’s baby pictures…?

December 31, 2008

Well, we may have had a first look at Sarah Palin’s fundraising strategy for 2012.

But to be fair, it’s only $300,000.   And the family will need wedding clothes.

Seven Maryland football players did not start in the Humanitarian Bowl as punishment for missing curfew this week. In Boise.  Now, that takes some doing…finding something to do to keep you out that late in Boise.

Brett Favre will apparently spend several weeks deliberating whether or not to play next year.  Then he will spend several months claiming he was pressured into making whatever decision he makes, and that he isn’t fully committed to it.

Should anyone be surprised that Favre dated his wife for over seven years – and even had a child together, before they got married?

Tonight is New Years Eve.  T.O. and the Dallas Cowboys will celebrate with a case of whine.


Eliot Spitzer is on the list of people caught up in Bernard Madoff’s ponzi scheme.  Who’d a thunk that the money he spent on call girls might have been the only time this year Spitzer got something for his investment?

On a semi serious note, many people say we shouldn’t have a college football playoff because fans would lose interest in the 34 bowl games.   Yeah, exactly…everyone was really focused on tonight’s Humanitarian Bowl and Music City Bowls and Texas Bowls….(between six teams who most people couldn’t have probably named without seeing the final scores.)

As opposed to college basketball,  which coincidentally, also has about 60 something teams go on to top level postseason play… 

(okay, yes, not counting the NIT.)

While we’re on the subject of songs…

December 23, 2008

After the Redskins played “Pick up the pieces” before their win on Sunday….

What about songs for other teams?
After the Yankees dropped ANOTHER $180 million to get Mark Teixeira.  Can we change their song from “New York, New York” to “Money can’t buy me love?”

(this might even be true within the five New York boroughs, if they don’t win at least the pennant.)

And the San Diego Chargers, with a 7-8 record and only needing a win to get into the playoffs – “Living on a Prayer.”


New York Jets defensive end Shaun Hill was fined $10,000 for throwing snow at Seattle fans after the Jets’ 13-3 loss to the Seahawks. Actually Brett Favre tried to throw a snowball at the fans too, but it was intercepted and run back for a touchdown.

Upcoming headline in New York:  “Yankees sign ALL Major League Baseball free agents.”

(why not?  They could just send the mediocre ones to their AAA and AA farmclubs.)


 Mike Tomlin did his best to show Santa Claus the door after the Steelers coach felt Santa had overstayed his welcome.  No worries,  Santa was actually heading to San Diego, where the potentially 8-8 Chargers may end up with a playoff spot for Christmas.

Apparently there are problems with the cell phone connections from Hawaii to Washington D.C.  President-elect Obama has called several times to President Bush recently asking the first thing he should do upon taking office.  And all he hears is Bush saying “Pardon me?”

It’s a great thing that Americans have put aside their prejudices, and elected a mixed-race president.  What might be even more surprising, they elected a man who admits he is still an occasional smoker. 

And if this week is a little weak, I am spending eight days in Ireland and Britain.  Where the reality shows are all the same – seriously – X Factor (which is basically American Idol.), Strictly Come Dancing.  (which is NOT Dirty Dancing, but basically So you think you can Dance.)   And Don’t Forget the Lyrics, The Weakest Link, Are you smarter than a 10th grader? etc. 


So next time you think American programming executives are weak, trust me, they are weaker than you think .   And they aren’t original.


But regarding sports, the big ones over here on television…soccer, of course, but followed by snooker, show jumping (horses), cricket, and darts.  Yes, darts.  Serious darts.   And it’s great viewing for all those who would prefer to watch a sport like golf, but find themselves intimidated by all the athletes’  great physiques.