Posted tagged ‘Barack Obama’

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NBA All-Star Weekend

February 15, 2009

It’s a great weekend to be in Washington. The stimulus bill is set, which means most congressmen and women have left town. And for the first weekend since the NBA Season started, fans can feel confident the Wizards will not lose a game.

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Switching sports and coasts….

Headline on Golf.com – “Stanford denies Wie first LPGA title.”

What, did they make her go to class or something?

(actually, it was Angela Stanford, who beat her by three strokes.)

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Stanford’s men’s basketball team lost to Cal Saturday after blowing a 22 point lead. Normally when Stanford blows a lead like that, the football team is involved.

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Just a thought after the whole stimulus bill battle about John McCain and his talk about working across the aisle during the election. Guess that meant working with anyone who he could get over to HIS side of the aisle.

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Hugh Jackman says that he will host a more “intimate” Oscar ceremony than usual. By intimate does he mean that so few people have seen most of the best picture nominees, no one will tune in to watch?

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Some pundits are already writing the Obama presidency off. Are these the same guys who every year watch spring training and say it’s the Cubs’ year?

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“Anonymous, pathetic bloggers”

February 6, 2009

Sarah Palin railed this week in an interview against “anonymous, pathetic bloggers.” She also said that a transcript of her comments would be available at “joetheplumber.com.”
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You have to love it, Governor Palin condemned bloggers for “spreading falsehoods” about her…and in case we forgot, brought up all those falsehoods again.

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When asked if he agreed with Sarah Palin’s comments about bloggers, John McCain replied “What’s a blogger?”

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Sarah Palin also said in an interview that she named her daughter Bristol after the home of ESPN. Apparently Palin had wanted to work there in her pre-political days, but had decided it was too far away. This is a woman who can see Russia from her house, but is daunted by the idea of Bristol, Connecticut?
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Although things are not going as smoothly in Washington as Barack Obama would like, at least we have a Democratic president who is working on a stimulus package, instead of working on getting someone to stimulate his package.

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The woman who gave birth to in-vitro octuplets told an interviewer she was “longing for personal connections.” Anyone ever suggest a puppy?

Although on the other hand, the Humane Society generally requires some evidence of financial and mental stability for people who want to adopt puppies….

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Republicans are almost uniformly against Barack Obama’s stimulus plan, preferring instead another round of tax cuts. Now, I’m not an economist, but didn’t we try that for the last eight years already?

Republicans are saying we should ignore President Obama and go back to more tax cuts. Isn’t that like the Detroit Lions telling their coach they don’t need his new ideas since they prefer the 2008 playbook?

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Lane Kiffin, in his new position as the University of Tennessee football coach, has already sparked controversy by accusing Florida coach Urban Meyer of cheating. For making a legal call to a recruit.

Who’d a thought that between Kiffin and his old boss, Al Davis would turn out to be the restrained one?

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Rod, we hardly knew ye…

January 30, 2009

Despite the rough economy, Americans are a resilient lot. Comedy writers, for example, shrugged off the departure of President Bush and vowed to persevere. But now losing Governor Blagojevich. That’s serious.

But for a farewell tour…

Governor Rod Blagojevich asked Illinois state senators how they could throw him out of office when he was “clamoring” and “begging” for a chance to prove his innocence. How? 59-0, that’s how.

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Might as well say this now, because who knows when it could change.

As of today, January 30, Illinois’s governor is neither under investigation or indictment.

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Barack Obama, in another landmark political move, actually admitted he is rooting for one team over another in the Super Bowl. Our new President is rooting for the Steelers, although he says he admires veteran Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner.

Of course, who better than Obama to know not to bet on the old white guy from Arizona?

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The U.S. banking bailout may cost a trillion dollars. Wow. A trillion dollars. That’s enough money to outfit Sarah Palin for over a year.

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Now that Joe Torre has co-authored a new tell-all book about the Yankees, the team is considering a confidentialty clause in future so that players and staff cannot tarnish the team’s reputation in print.

Instead, they’ll just have to do it on the field.

(Or by dating Madonna.)

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In the wake of Joe Torre’s new book, Yankees officials are considering steps to ensure that all future volumes about the team are “positive in tone.” Which means that no one will be allowed to write a book about the Bronx Bombers in the playoffs.

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More from the “purple tunnel of doom.”

January 26, 2009

First, in case that reference is too “inside baseball” – the Purple Tunnel of Doom refers to all the thousands inaugural ticket holders who missed the ceremony because they were stuck in endless security lines…some actually IN a tunnel on their way to the gates. Blue ticket holders had the privilege of at least being stuck in the sunshine, albeit the 25 degree sunshine.

Anyway…

Actually, until last week the “Purple Tunnel of Doom” just referred to the tunnel from the locker room to the field used by the Minnesota Vikings in their Super Bowls.

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Now that the Bush team has left the White House, get ready for a flood of tell-all books about the adminstration. Especially as in the this case, all the former staffers and potential authors are confident their boss will never read them.

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Barack Obama still maintains he will have an open door policy with Republicans. Of course, to maintain some semblance of order, access to that door will be done by a system of purple tickets.

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Since President Obama’s inauguration, Oregon State’s usually lowly men’s basketball team, now coached by Barack’s brother-in-law Craig Robinson, is 2-0, with upsets of Cal and Stanford on the road.

When this college basketball season is over, wonder if Barack will send Craig on a humanitarian rescue mission – to the Wizards.

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It’s been a rough time recently for Roger Clemens. Not only are the feds convening a grand jury against the former pitcher, but Roger’s performance last year didn’t even get him nominated for an Oscar.

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For our Neighbors to the North, a few hockey jokes.

The NHL All-Star game ended in a shoot-out with the East beating the West 12-11. Most Americans found this shocking…the NHL had an All-Star game?

The NHL All-Star game ended with the East winning 12-11. 12-11? Where did they play the game, Coors Field?

(Actually, if there were more 12-11 games, there might be more Americans watching hockey.)

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Nearly one week after the inaugural…

January 24, 2009

President Obama has almost completed his first week of work. And former President Bush has almost completed his 417th week of doing nothing.

“Former president George W. Bush” Five words that bring a smile to millions of Americans, and tears to most would-be comedy writers.

President Obama’s first approval rating trounces that of his predecessor. But let’s be fair, isn’t trouncing George Bush’s approval rating like beating the Detroit Lions.

(or substitute, Washington Wizards, Oklahoma City Thunder, or – for Canadian readers – the Ottawa Senators.)

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During the bye-week before the Super Bowl, NFL fans are facing a Sunday without professional football. Detroit Lions fans say “And your point is?”

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For this year’s Miss America pageant, four of the top 15 finalists were voted in by viewers of the reality show, “Miss America: Countdown to the Crown.” Ah, so THAT explains the finals appearance of Sanjaya.

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And as a honorary member of “Survivors of the Purple Tunnel of Doom.” (translation, I was given a blue ticket and couldn’t make it inside either, along with probably 20,000 or so others.), may I propose this t-shirt)

“Inaugural ticket security – brought to you by the people who brought you FEMA.”

As we approach the Super Bowl, here’s a cheerful thought for the woeful Detroit Lions. This fall they only had one less win than Barack Obama.

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A whole new world..

January 24, 2009

Okay, let’s be real? Which sounded more likely a couple years ago? Our first black president or the Cardinals in the Super Bowl?

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Actually most sports fans aren’t that surprised that the Cardinals are playing a meaningful game in February. After all, they’re pretty serious about spring training.

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With all the talk about Barack Obama being our first black president, it’s easy for most Americans to forget – his mother was white. And possibly descended from royalty. How else did Obama end up with Prince Charles’s ears?

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Embattled Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich now says that he was the victim of a “plot to raise taxes,” and compares the day he was arrested to Pearl Harbor. Even Larry Craig is saying “this guy is delusional.”

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What’s in a oath?

January 22, 2009

After Chief Justice Roberts flubbed the word “faithfully” during the Presidential oath, President Obama retook the oath Wednesday.

Bill Clinton called to offer Obama support, saying he too had had a problem with that “faithfully” part.

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Barack Obama has already changed the White House, eliminating George W. Bush’s policy of “jackets required.” And of course Bill Clinton’s policy of “pants not required.”

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Michelle Obama gave Laura Bush a parting gift of a journal and inscribed pen. George W. Bush was so touched, he decided to give the Obama girls a book and some of his favorite crayons.

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The journal was inscribed with a quote from Louis L’Amour – “There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning.” George W. said, “Cool, I get it….extra innings.”

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PETA would like Michael Vick to undergo psychiatric evaluation before he returns to the NFL. Presumably the first sanity test question – how would you feel about playing for the Detroit Lions?
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From Carey Schwartz, my son: Jeff Kent has retired. Presumably he wants to spend more time washing his truck.

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President Obama hit the ground running on his first day, hoping to usher in a new era of competence. But for Washingtonians who aren’t quite ready for that, there’s still the Wizards.

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How big was Obama’s inauguration? It was an event of such Olympic proportions that NBC almost tape-delayed it on the West Coast.

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Can we joke about US Air 1549? Yes we can!

January 16, 2009

Okay, we all love gallows humor, even if it’s tacky, and even if it’s awful….(and yes, most of us in the travel business are guilty of passing around horrible jokes after travel disasters.) But the best gallows humor is when there’s no actual deaths or serious injuries involved.

Which means that US 1549 has just provided us, ironically, with one of the feel-good stories of the month. And of course, joke fodder. Even if most of them may not be funny…

But here goes:

US Air has announced they are now the official airline of the US Swim team.
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At this point there’s at least something deeper under water in New York than most people’s mortgages.
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US Air has announced they did of course not charge passengers for their life jackets. They will bill them later.

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New Yorkers haven’t seen a jet fall that fast since Brett Favre.

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Passengers wondered after the fact if they should have been suspicious that the schedule inflight movie was Titanic.

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The hottest new inflight read? The seatback emergency card. (Especially that part on water landings.)

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Possible casual attire to be seen at inaugural formals? “I checked my tux on US Air and all I have left is this lousy t-shirt. ”

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Can you imagine the baggage claim issues, and the insurance company phone conversations, especially with phone-centers in India. “Well, it’s not that my luggage is lost, I actually know where it is…but there’s an issue.”

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New acronym – Using Sonar Airways

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The Secret Service has assured Americans that should a similar situation arise, Air Force One is also capable of a water landing. At which point President-elect Obama will simply walk to safety.
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Actually the plane went down in a heavily trafficked part of the Hudson that is also used by cruise ships. Wonder how long it will take Royal Caribbean Cruise Line to add the “New York Snorkel” experience to their shore excursions?

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My son’s contribution; New Yorkers were disappointed to hear it wasn’t the Knicks charter.

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The pilot did a great job of landing in the Hudson River, although perhaps a more appropriate place for such a spectacular crash landing would have been Shea Stadium. Specifically the bullpen mound.

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Interesting karma….that this happens to the only airline in the US that currently charges for onboard water.

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This is the actual airline flight information update that travel agents could read today.

(translation – “OUT” of the gate, 303p – 18 minutes late. “OFF” the runway – 325p. Estimated time of arrival in Charlotte 516p..well, not quite. No update for “IN” the Hudson. And the last line is reasonably self-explanatory.)

A/OUT 303P L00:18
A/OFF 325P
T/ETA 516P L00:26
A/LX ADJ-FLIGHT CANCELED DUE TO AN OPERATIONAL ISSUE

All kidding aside, it was a pretty miraculous performance by the crew, and actually in many ways by the passengers. With all the stories of selfish, careless and flat-out stupid behavior by air travelers, it was great to see everyone involved step up to the plate…and/or out on the wing, as the case may be.

By the way, other jokes and/or attempts at jokes welcome in the comments.

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Barely Creditable System?

January 3, 2009

It’s not been a good year for the BCS.   Barack Obama threatened to put the power of the presidency behind a playoff system, and a number of one loss teams all had legitimate claims to being in the National Championship game.

But at least the only undefeated team in a BCS game was the Utah Utes, from the lowly Mountain West conference.  Since they were matched against Alabama, from the powerful SEC,  a team that was number one until their loss to Florida, this figured to be a no-brainer.    Oops.   Utah won this game 31-17 and is 13-0…..

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Btw, the answer to the question, what is a “Ute?”  is  – one of a band of American Indians for whom the state of Utah was named.      Although there are apparently yearly protests on campus, the Utes have been spared some of the national controveries that the Redskins, Indians, Braves and Seminoles, for example, have faced.  Not that Americans are less sensitive to the Utes – they just don’t know what they are.

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Utah, along with USC – which had a strong season with only one loss – are both claiming that BCS unfairly weighs reputations and past history in choosing winners.     On the other hand, Hillary Clinton has asked that the BCS computers be used in future Democratic primaries.

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President Bush told Barack Obama that Blair House  the president-elect’s traditional residence starting January 15, was unavailable earlier due to prior commitments.  But the girls needed to start school Monday.

Fortunately, the Obamas were able to find rooms  at the Hay Adams hotel.   Many Republicans are just relieved the accommodations don’t include a manger.

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Tacky joke alert…
A child was born on a Northwest flight between Amsterdam and Boston last week.  Big deal . On Jet Blue, a woman boarded a plane after unprotected sex the night before; by the time they took off she was in her second trimester.

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Thanking President Bush…?

December 28, 2008

Sunday morning current secretary of state Condoleezza Rice said that people will soon “start to thank this president for what he’s done.”

Well, there’s a good chance they will thank him for what he will do on January 20.

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Condoleezza Rice also said that she didn’t feel the President had damaged America’s standing in the world.  Of course, she  might be just a bit out of touch these days.  Someone mentioned the Detroit Lions’ historic season and Condi said she was sure the President would be calling them with congratulations.

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Actually, when you think about it, the Detroit Lions might be the most appropriate team for President Bush to invite to his White House.

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Over in Hawaii, Barack Obama – along with most people on the island of Oahu – was without electricity for over 12 hours.   This was not unprecedented; although  the last time a president-elect found himself without power was when George W.  had his first post-election meeting with Dick Cheney.

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The New England Patriots completed an excellent 11-5 season, looked like one of the strongest teams in the NFL down the stretch,  and still found themselves shut out of the playoffs.   Which means they won’t get a call from the President and a visit to the White House.  But they may get an invitation from the new Secretary of State.

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Coca Cola received a warning letter from the FDA.  Apparently their “Diet Coke Plus” doesn’t have enough added nutrients to merit its label, which says “Diet Coke with Vitamins and Minerals.”    They have thus been ordered to revise the label.    Coca Cola is planning to appeal but if they lose they will just slap a sticker on the label, use it for regular Coke, and call it “Diet Coke with Sugar.”

The FDA also advised Coca Cola that “it is inappropriate to add extra nutrients to snack foods such as carbonated beverages.”

Yeah, good to see the FDA looking out for our health.  Extra caffeine, fine, extra sugar, fine, extra fat in chips and cookies, fine,….just none of those scary “extra nutrients.”

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A winter storm knocked out power to over 400,000 households in Michigan.  On the bright side, this meant none of them had to watch the Lions.

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While we’re on the subject of songs…

December 23, 2008

After the Redskins played “Pick up the pieces” before their win on Sunday….

What about songs for other teams?
After the Yankees dropped ANOTHER $180 million to get Mark Teixeira.  Can we change their song from “New York, New York” to “Money can’t buy me love?”

(this might even be true within the five New York boroughs, if they don’t win at least the pennant.)

And the San Diego Chargers, with a 7-8 record and only needing a win to get into the playoffs – “Living on a Prayer.”

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New York Jets defensive end Shaun Hill was fined $10,000 for throwing snow at Seattle fans after the Jets’ 13-3 loss to the Seahawks. Actually Brett Favre tried to throw a snowball at the fans too, but it was intercepted and run back for a touchdown.

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Upcoming headline in New York:  “Yankees sign ALL Major League Baseball free agents.”

(why not?  They could just send the mediocre ones to their AAA and AA farmclubs.)

 

 Mike Tomlin did his best to show Santa Claus the door after the Steelers coach felt Santa had overstayed his welcome.  No worries,  Santa was actually heading to San Diego, where the potentially 8-8 Chargers may end up with a playoff spot for Christmas.

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Apparently there are problems with the cell phone connections from Hawaii to Washington D.C.  President-elect Obama has called several times to President Bush recently asking the first thing he should do upon taking office.  And all he hears is Bush saying “Pardon me?”

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It’s a great thing that Americans have put aside their prejudices, and elected a mixed-race president.  What might be even more surprising, they elected a man who admits he is still an occasional smoker. 

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And if this week is a little weak, I am spending eight days in Ireland and Britain.  Where the reality shows are all the same – seriously – X Factor (which is basically American Idol.), Strictly Come Dancing.  (which is NOT Dirty Dancing, but basically So you think you can Dance.)   And Don’t Forget the Lyrics, The Weakest Link, Are you smarter than a 10th grader? etc. 

 

So next time you think American programming executives are weak, trust me, they are weaker than you think .   And they aren’t original.

 

But regarding sports, the big ones over here on television…soccer, of course, but followed by snooker, show jumping (horses), cricket, and darts.  Yes, darts.  Serious darts.   And it’s great viewing for all those who would prefer to watch a sport like golf, but find themselves intimidated by all the athletes’  great physiques.

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Rats!

December 17, 2008

Scientists have found a 11 milion year old rat species still living in the Mekong Delta. The rat apparently was found in an original KFC bucket.

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Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, 82, just signed a three year contract extension. When asked if he thought this was risky, Paterno said, “No, he thought the University would survive the recession.”

(yeah, I know, it’s a variation on an old joke.)

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Also in Pennsylvania, the Phillies signed left-handed pitcher Jamie Moyer, 46, to a two year contract experience. When asked about it, Paterno reportedly replied “Well, they might have given him more years if Jamie had a little more experience.”

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This next joke basically belongs to Alex Kaseberg. I just tweaked it a little bit.

At a Iraq press conference, President Bush had to dodge two shoes thrown at him by a reporter. Apparently the New Iraq Times’ motto is now “All the News thats Foot to Print.”

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Now that Governor Blagojevich has been stopped from selling Obama’s Senate seat, there is talk of a special election in Illinois. So we’ll go back to putting someone in office the old-fashioned way. Buying one vote at a time.

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Actually President Bush is trying to help out. He has suggested that the state of Illinois let each party choose a candidate, but save the money they would have spent on the election.   Then W. will just have the Supreme Court decide.

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Governor Blagojevich still maintains he has done nothing wrong. He says his morals just have a wide stance.

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President elect Barack Obama’s team is not only full of smart people, but also good basketball players. As reported in USA Today, Obama’s high school basketball team won the Hawaii state championship. His education pick Ame Duncan played at Harvard, his future National Security Advisor James Jones played at Georgetown. And UN Ambassador pick Susan Rice and Attorney General pick Eric Holder both played in high school. Oh, and Obama’s personal aide Reggie Love? He played at Duke.

Just what Washington needs, another team that can beat the Wizards.

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A losing day for winners…

December 15, 2008

The two teams with the NFL’s best records – the Titans and Giants  – both lost Sunday, along with the division leading Cardinals and Broncos.  And the Steelers barely escaped with a win on a controversial touchdown call.

Most Americans haven’t seen so many high-flyers come down to earth since they opened their last 401K statement.

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Rumor has it that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich may resign as early as Monday.  That is, once he negotiates a comfortable fee for his appearance on Court TV.

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Joe Biden has indicated that despite the fact that he will be a  heartbeat away from running the country, he intends to keep a lower profile than his predecessor.  Besides, he thinks Obama will be a far more competent leader than Cheney was.

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An Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at George W. Bush, but just missed hitting the President.   Although he was close enough that he will be offered a tryout by the Detroit Lions.

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An Iraqi man threw his size 10 shoe at President Bush this weekend, but just missed his target.    Fortunately there’s no chance the President will have to worry about shoes thrown by Bozo – due to professional courtesy.

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President Bush feels confident he will not have to face any shoe attacks back in the U.S.   The way the economy is going, most Americans can no longer afford a backup pair.

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John McCain would not commit to backing Sarah Palin for the presidency in 2012.  Though in the spirit of bi-partisanship, President-elect Obama said he thinks she would be a great choice as the Republican nominee.

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The Cleveland Indians just signed a two year deal with Kerry Wood.  Wood said he was happy with his new team, and also promised to be healthy and ready to be injured in spring training.

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And two great efforts from Nick Coombs:

An announcement is expected today that the AFL will forgo the 2009 season. This, combined with the recent signs of financial trouble within the WNBA has led ESPN executives to wonder what they are going to do with their ESPN2 3AM lineup.


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How are the New York Giants and the New York Knicks similar?
Neither team has players that know how to shoot.

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Not so happy holidays…

December 6, 2008

According to a recent USA Today poll,  80 percent of Americans said they have had a holiday gathering ruined by a relative.   The other 20 percent said they couldn’t answer because their mother was listening.

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Barack Obama is trying to help Hillary Clinton retire her campaign debt.  Though these days maybe Hillary would have better luck if she called it a bailout.

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It is a weird world when “only” $15 billion is considered almost chump change…

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Now that Hillary Clinton is moving to the nation’s capital, how long until she announces that in her heart she really has been a Washington Nationals fan?

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O.J. Simpson will spend at least nine years in prison for his armed robbery conviction, giving him plenty of time to reflect.  Especially about the fact he didn’t try to steal his stuff back in Los Angeles.

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The chairman of the Chicago Cubs said the franchise should be sold by next spring.  Which means the new owners will get to have a full season to be disappointed.

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Greg Maddux, one of the winningest pitchers of all time, despite never having overpowering stuff, has announced his retirement.  He decided it was time when his fastball could no longer rattle glass.

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Previously undefeated Ball State lost to Buffalo in a shocking upset in the Mid American Conference football championship game.   Of course, to most casual  fans the biggest shock was that Ball State had a football team, let alone that they were undefeated.

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Oklahoma City basically stole their new NBA team from Seattle.  But how long until the Oklahoma fans beg some other city to steal their Thunder?

 

 

l

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3D football…

December 5, 2008

The Oakland Raiders were featured in the NFL’s first 3D televised game Thursday night.  Who knew?  The 3 apparently stood for Oakland’s win total.  The D apparently stood for dreadful.

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The Oakland Raiders were trounced 34-7 by the San Diego Chargers Thursday night, making them 0-10 for their last primetime games.

On the brighter side, the Raiders’ season video has been optioned as an NBC sitcom.

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Apparently linebacker Anthony Pierce will now be testifying against teammate Plaxico Burress in his gun case.  Burress thought Pierce had his back. This is what is known as blown coverage.

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Plaxico Burress’s friend and teammate Anthony Pierce will now be testifying against him. Apparently  the police gave Pierce six to ten good reasons for testifying.

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For the third time in a year, federal prosecutors have rewritten their indictment against Barry Bonds for perjury, this time dropping four counts of lying to a grand jury.  Isn’t it great in this economy to actually watch our tax dollars at work? 

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Some Democrats are already criticizing Barack Obama for not getting more involved in the economic crisis, although he won’t be sworn in for over six weeks.    Even Elizabeth Taylor had honeymoons that lasted longer than this.

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Bowl controversy series?

November 30, 2008

So for anyone who needs one sentence to sum up the BCS mess, here it is:

This season, a team could win the national championship game, and not even win their own conference.

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This year Alabama is undefeated, but could lose to Florida next week.  Florida, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Penn State, and USC all have only one loss.  And Ball State, Utah and Boise State, all Division 1 teams, are also undefeated.   So why was the BCS created, besides of course money?

To resolve situations when more than one team could claim to be number one. 

Yeah, that’s working out real well.

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The Golden State Warriors lost to the New York Knicks 138-125 Saturday night.  The Knicks had actually scored 82 points at the HALF!  

Warriors coach Don Nelson reviewed the game tapes with plans to criticize his team’s defense.  But he found insufficient evidence.

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Barack Obama is not only planning to name Hillary Clinton his Secretary of State, he has reinstated Samantha Powers on his foreign policy team.

Wonder if this means the State Department will be known as Monsters Inc?.

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Senator Joe Lieberman will keep his committee chairmanship and remain in the Democratic caucus, despite his maddening peformance this year.   But at this point Barack Obama and the party have decided it would be too costly to let him go. 

Making Joe sort of the Charlie Weiss of the Democratic party.

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Notre Dame followed their embarrassing upset by Syracuse at home, with a complete thrashing by USC in the Los Angeles Coliseum.  The game, in fact, ended up keeping the Trojans’ slim national championship hopes alive.  Well, at least the Fighting Irish got to play before a crowd that was thrilled to see them.

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White House Chores….

November 29, 2008

A lot will be changing in the White House next year, especially with Barack Obama bringing his two young daughters to Washington.  And the president-elect has announced that Malia and Sasha WILL continue to do their chores.  Which means, unlike George W, they will have to clean up their own messes.

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Former Raiders coach Lane Kiffin will apparently be the next coach of the Tennessee Volunteers.   The university staff watched Raiders game tapes and decided that Kiffin definitely had experience coaching a team at the SEC level. 

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And for his part, after working with Al Davis,  Kiffin decided if he was going to deal with sophomoric behavior, that it might as well involve some real sophomores.

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Black Friday was a disappointing day for many high end stores this year.  And their biggest disappointment ?  The RNC is no longer shopping for Sarah Palin.

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Turkeys of the Year…

November 27, 2008

It’s not a terribly original idea, but why mess with a winner?   In a year with so many contenders, here are my choices for a few of the turkeys, and turkey moves, of the year….

Sports first.

Whoever had the bright idea of spending over $4 million – including a buyout to his old school, West Virginia, to hire Rich Rodriguez as the new Michigan football coach.  While many expected a transition year, few expected a 3 and 9 record.  On the bright side, no one’s talking any more about that loss in 2007 to Appalachian State.

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The Oklahoma City Thunder.   Group effort, players and management.  Besides stealing the team from Seattle. management came up with a silly name,  and made the Warriors give up their Thunder mascot.  As for the players, well,  1-14 speaks for itself.  Some sympathy here for the citizens of Oklahoma City who have never had a major professional team before.  And they still don’t.

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The BCS – probably a Hall of Fame contender in any top turkey list.  But this year they could outdo themselves, with a strong possibility of seven strong one-loss teams, and two undefeated smaller conference teams (Ball State and Indiana.)  Barack Obama wants a college playoff system – had he announced this before the election he might have won the South too.

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Politics.

Mark Penn –  for so many reasons, the capper being perhaps the fact that he didn’t know that the California Democratic primary was winner take all.   And for taking a  New York Yankees level type payroll and getting  New York Yankees type results.  (Although campaigns don’t even have to pay a luxury tax.)   On the other hand, if Hillary likes the Secretary of State job she can thank him for helping her get in that position.

Bill Clinton  – for deciding the week of the South Carolina primary to remind everyone that Barack Obama was black.  Like we wouldn’t have noticed.

Ralph Nader would have won, except nobody cares anymore.

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Monday thoughts…

November 18, 2008

A USA Today ad on Monday touted “Make millions by buying bad loans.” 

Yeah, we’ve already learned how to do that.  Start with billions.

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Barack Obama has been busy meeting with old rivals and possibly offering some of them key positions in his admininstrations. But for those those who think he might sell out completely, the President-elect from Chicago’s South Side has announced he will never ever root for the Cubs.

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And Obama said on 60 minutes that he was serious about a college football playoff and was willing to “throw his weight around a little” to do it.  When he talked about sitting down with dictators without preconditions, who knew he was including the BCS?

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President Bush invited the Ryder Cup team members to the White House and told them he had he avidly followed “every minute” of their play.

Well, yeah, not like he had anything else to do this September

 

The Canadian Football League’s Grey Cup championship is Sunday, November 23.  It will only be televised to limited viewers in the U.S.  Apparently the media doesn’t feel that Americans will be that interested in a game between two perceived mediocre small market teams.

As opposed to say, this week’s Monday night football game between the Cleveland Browns and Buffalo Bills.

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in Monday Night Football, the Bills had a chance to win the game, but a 47 yard field goal attempt missed by going too far to the right.   Which might have also been how John McCain lost the election.

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Lions and Bengals and Bears, oh my…

November 16, 2008

As the Lions continued their quest for a perfect season by losing a tenth game in the row….

The CIncinnati Bengals played a true stinker of a game, and still ended up tying the Philadelphia Eagles 13-13 after neither team could score in overtime.  

But really, tying the Cincinnati Bengals?  Isn’t that like french kissing your sister?

Or getting drunk, trying to kiss your sister, and kissing your brother-in-law?

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And Sunday on 60 Minutes, Barack Obama reiterated his call for a playoff system for the top college teams.  Was there a hometown bias?    Based on their earlier 37-3 loss to the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears might just qualify.

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And as we start thinking about the inaugural:

In 1841, William Henry Harrison gave the longest inauguration speech in history, almost two hours, in bitter cold weather.  He caught pneumonia and died a month later.  Well, it’s a good thing that there is no inaugural speech for the Vice President. 

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Mike Huckabee is getting his own show on Fox News.  Not to be outdone, Sarah Palin will be getting her own show too: “Northern Overexposure.”

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