Ups and downs.
Michael Bloomberg said today he would run for President, except he doesn’t think he can win. Well, that never stopped a whole lot of other people.
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The Giant Dipper roller coaster in Santa Cruz is now 90 years old. The ride is in great shape, except that it has started going around the track with its left blinker on.
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There is a chance that California Chrome might not run in the Belmont if New York racing officials, known for being stricter than other states, do not allow him to wear his customary nasal strip, which helps with the colt’s breathing when he races. Even Roger Goodell might think that’s a ticky-tack ruling.
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Of course, to be fair, hard to imagine Roger Goodell would have let California Chrome run with the label of “Dumb Ass Partners.”
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Karl Rove continues to insist that Hillary Clinton’s brain injury will keep her from running in 2016, saying it is “far more serious’” than many currently realize. Except if anyone knows that a working brain is not required for being President…
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Miss Beazley, one of George W. and Laura Bush’s beloved Scottish Terriers, has passed away at the age of 9. Clearly this is Obama’s fault.
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North Korea is reporting that an apartment building in Pyongyang has collapsed in a “serious accident” that caused an unspecified number of casualties. Further details will follow as soon as they figure out a way to blame this on the U.S.
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Miguel Tejada has signed a minor league deal with the Miami Marlins and will work out at the club’s spring training headquarters while he serves the last few weeks of a 105 game suspension for his third failed drug test. It’s all part of Bud Selig’s strict “three strikes and you’re almost out, maybe…” policy.
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The U.S. government is trying to help farmers in Central America fight a coffee fungus that is especially deadly to Arabica coffee, a bean that makes up a lot of high-end coffee. It’s about the livelihoods of the farmers as well as the price of coffee. Although Starbucks is no doubt considering helping consumers with an installment plan.
There’s been another call for the resignation of the NH Police Chief who used the N word to refer to Obama. From that commie-pinko Mitt Romney. Is Mitt trying to get back to the days when people said he was too reasonable to be the GOP nominee for President?
Tags: baseball jokes, California Chrome jokes, Clinton jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, roller coaster jokes
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May 19, 2014 at 6:53 pm
So the Tigers flew jetBlue?