Apologies to real douchebags

North Korea reported that Kim Jong Un was elected to the country’s highest legislative body with “unanimous approval of his district which had 100% turnout.” Well, 100% of now living voters, no doubt.

 

Religious radio talk show host Kevin Swanson is  claiming that Disney’s movie “Frozen” is the work of the Devil and “indoctrinates” children to be gay, because it talks about the love between sisters. Florida? Arizona? Texas?   Nope, Swanson is from Colorado. But to those other states… it’s your move.

Chelsea Clinton in a speech today said “I definitely taught my parents how to text.” And remembering Anthony Weiner, etc, most Americans are thinking, “Thank God you didn’t teach your dad until after he left the Oval Office.”

Open note to Dodgers fans whining about Barry Bonds spending a week helping out in SF Giants training camp. How’s your hitting coach doing these days? #glasshouses

Is #JuanPablo Spanish for “a**hole?” #TheBachelor

 

At Oscar Pistorius’s trial a friend who said that the “Blade Runner” had a big love for weapons,’ also said he agreed to “take the rap with pleasure” after Pistorius’s gun went off in a restaurant. Depending how the judge rules, we just might have found a cellmate for Aaron Hernandez.

George Zimmerman, telling an interviewer he doesn’t understand why people are still so upset with him. “But I’m willing to talk to everyone and try to answer their concerns or questions and help them realize there is no need to be angry.” #speechless

Cruise lines for years have had “gentlemen hosts” who were willing to dance with single women on board. Now Crystal Cruise Lines is introducing female hosts for single men looking for dance partners. Both of them?

 

Jerry Sandusky’s wife Dottie, in an interview with Matt Lauer: ‘I’m not a weak wife.” So does that means she’s delusional? Or evil?

Adam Vinatieri, 41, has signed another two-year deal with the Colts. So will he be the first kicker to run onto the field with his left blinker on?

 

Another winter storm is expected to drop several inches to two feet of snow from Chicago to New England over the next couple days. Note to God, if you want to send a “hell freezing over” message, maybe better to be a little more specific.

The 49ers have traded for Jonathan Martin. Makes some sense. Whatever you think of Jim Harbaugh, hard to imagine he suffers fools, or bullies.

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn: “49er Donte Whitner has signed with Cleveland.He should change his name to What?-ner”

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