Jamie Moyer – Golden Oldie.

Congrats to Jamie Moyer on his first win of the 2012 season. The lefty thus becomes the first MLB pitcher to have a win transmitted not only on the internet, but also by Morse Code.

The Braves have announced plans to retire John Smoltz’s number this spring. Assume Smoltz, 47, will get a gold watch. Presumably when some team retires Jamie Moyer’s number they will give him a gold sundial?

Not only did Americans not win the Boston Marathon, there was only one U.S. runner in each of the men and women’s top ten. What was this, an academic competition?

Kentucky’s starting five players on their National Champion men’s basketball team (three freshman and two sophomores) have all announced they will enter this year’s NBA draft. Call me old-fashioned but it would be nice if when these schools hang the banner there was at least one player around in the fall to see it.

A Texas company had to recall t-shirts because they featured an “SEC” logo over a partial U.S. map. But they left Missouri, new to the SEC, off the map, and included North Carolina, which is not a member. Hmm, assume the apparel firm was founded by former SEC student-athletes?

During his suspension, New Orleans coach Sean Payton will be banned from all NFL contact. Washington fans watching this bounty mess are hoping against hope that Redskins owner Dan Snyder will somehow be implicated.

Ted Nugent spoke to the NRA last week and compared Obama to a coyote that needs to be shot, and said if the President is re-elected “I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” Which means Nugent is now getting more Secret Service attention than anyone who’s not a Columbian prostitute.

An ABC News report says Secret Service agents accused of misconduct with prostitutes in Columbia were bragging at a nightclub by saying they worked for Obama. This would never have happened under Clinton, he would have been right there beside them.

Kim Kardashian has now said she intends to run for mayor of Glendale, Calif. Fortunately for the good citizens of the city, her campaign will only last 72 days.

In jury selection for Roger Clemens’ perjury trial, several prospective jurors questioned the value of Congressional hearings on the steroids issue in the first place. Well, it’s not like there are any more pressing issues Congress has to deal with….

A labor dispute may result in the liquidation of Hostess Brands, the maker of Twinkies and HoHos. In related news, U.S. obesity figures are expected to drop at least 5%.

For most Americans, April 17 was Tax Day. For the Romneys, it was “File-an-Extension-For-The-Taxes-You-Won’t-Pay-Much-of-Anyway Day.”

Flip flop alert: Chris Christie, who has repeatedly said he doesn’t want to be vice president, now says if he gets called he “will sit down and talk to Gov. Romney about it.”. Run with Mitt Romney? Sounds like he’s trying to be Mitt Romney.

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3 Comments on “Jamie Moyer – Golden Oldie.”

  1. marc ragovin Says:

    The five undergraduate starters on the University of Kentucky championship basketball team announced they are leaving the school for the NBA. Hmmm. Seems that for these guys “My Old Kentucky Home” is just a short-term rental.

  2. marc ragovin Says:

    As Jamie Moyer labored to get hsi record setting win at age 49, many wondered if he would make it out of the seventh inining. Literally.

  3. Gary M. Says:

    A woman in Delta, Colo. claims she found a maggot in her Wendy’s french fries. But Angelica Jensen says she has no plans to sue the burger chain. In fact, she’s so fond of Wendy’s, she offers a big severed-thumbs up.

    After seeing Jamie Moyer make his pitching debut at Wrigley Field, way back in 1886, I wisely noted to anyone who’d listen, ‘this kid won’t make it,’ even tho he’d just beaten Steve Carlton and the Phillies. Almost 26 years later, Moyer’s still pitching but I’ve stopped predicting.

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