Daytona 500 – Please sir, may I have s’mores.

Well, I’m not a NASCAR fan. But must admit watching a car run into a fuel truck (when no one gets hurt) is pretty spectacular.

Watching the Daytona track cleanup, which is more fun than the race. And millions of American women are discovering, yes, men can be taught how to use Tide.

“Breakfast at Daytona” has turned into “Demolition Derby.”

Montoya’s accident with the truck was the biggest flameout in the South since S.C. Governor Sanford said he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Good thing the airlines don’t sponsor NASCAR. With that much jet fuel spilled, future race tickets would certainly have a fuel surcharge.

Mitt Romney is accusing Rick Santorum’s campaign of being “deceptive” and using “dirty tricks” in making robo calls telling Democratic voters to come out to the polls Tuesday in Michigan and vote against Romney. Translation, Mitt’s mad he didn’t think of the idea of calling Democrats first.

Mitt Romney told supporters in Michigan about attending the Golden Jubilee celebration of the American automobile as a young boy. The problem is that the event took place nine months before Mitt was born. In Romney’s defense maybe he’s still traumatized from dodging sniper fire in Bosnia with Hillary Clinton.

(Either that or Mitt is trying to trump Santorum’s “life begins at conception” with “memory begins at conception.)

Rick Santorum is attacking President Obama” for wanting all Americans to have the chance to at least attend community college. Well, makes sense, Santorum’s BA, MBA AND JD don’t appear to have helped him become any smarter.

Best thing about Jennifer Lopez’s “wardrobe malfunction” last night. If it had to happen to an American Idol judge, at least it wasn’t Steven Tyler.

New reality show? “Survivor – Costa Cruises.”

How do you say “oops” in Italian. A fire in the generator room of the Costa Allegra, has left that cruise ship adrift off the Seychelles. No casualties, but wonder if they had to rescue the captain after he fell into a lifeboat?

Kobe Bryant finished the All-Star game despite having sustained a “nasal fracture” Guess no one noticed since we’re all used to seeing Kobe with his nose out of joint.

Poor Mitt, wondering why people think he is out of touch. From Paul Krugman in the NY Times: “Asked by the AP reporter if he follows NASCAR, Romney responded, ‘Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans. But I have some great friends who are NASCAR team owners'”

A measure to legalize the recreational use of marijuana has qualified for the Colorado ballot this November. Insert “Rocky Mountain High” joke here.

Newark Airport temporarily closed tonight for an emergency landing and a disabled plane blocking a runway. The airport reopened with delays of up to an hour. No compensation for passengers, because hey, stuff happens. But try telling an airline you got stuck in traffic and missed your flight..

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