Until death or reality do us part.

Congrats to V.P. Joe Biden’s daughter Ashley, who announced her engagement today. The happy couple will set a wedding date as soon as they convince Dad that really, the father of the bride doesn’t HAVE to give a speech.

The Lions not only crushed the Broncos, they mocked Tim Tebow, and Ndamukong Suh said “Evil prevails.” Some think God might get them for that. But God just smiled and said three words – “Winter in Detroit.”

Kim Kardashian is expected to file for divorce today from her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries. I have posted something like this before but have to say it again: And this is the kind of traditional marriage some in the GOP say is “America’s most important institution,” and want to pass an amendment to protect?

But really? 72 days?!! Guess Kim and Kris had to wait for for the E! TV special of their $10 million wedding to air earlier this month.

My friend Alex Kaseberg said the marriage “couldn’t take that dreaded seven-week itch.”

Tom Tolbert pointed out today on KNBR that Kris and Kim pocketed over $18 million dollars from various media in their their brief marriage, most of it for the rights to their televised wedding. (Similar numbers were reported by the U.K. Guardian.) Even if Tolbert’s numbers were off by a bit that’s the most money for a quickly regretted contract since JaMarcus Russell signed with the Raiders.

But okay, there were signs this might not last -like in the gift registry where there was allegedly a note at the bottom, if they split up do you want your gift to stay with Kris or Kim?

At least Kim can keep the monogrammed “K K” towels.

Still mad about not getting a time out called at the end of regulation Saturday night against Stanford, USC coach Lane Kiffin is railing against the officials and saying he was “deceived.” Kiffin’s former employers are just giggling.

Well, USC isn’t bowl eligible, so maybe Kiffin is trying to show that while his team can’t have the Roses, they can at least have the Whine.-

Lane Kiffen even quoted Knox, his 2-year-old son, as knowing more than the officials. Many longtime Kiffin watchers are laying odds that Knox is already more mature about losing than his daddy.

Late night update, the Pac 12 has just fined Lane Kiffin $10,000 for criticizing the officials. $10,000?! Wow, when Reggie Bush was at USC that was almost a full game’s salary.

Tony La Russa is retiring as the manager of the St. Louis Cardinals. Actually, he really retired a couple days ago, but he tried to announce the decision by phone.

Ever the intellectual, Tony LaRussa said that one of his post retirement plans might be opening a bookstore. Asked some of his current and former players – “What’s a bookstore?”

C.C. Sabathia signed a 5 year, $122 million contract with the Yankees. That’s probably enough to feed him AND his family.

From Marc Ragovin: So the Mets announced that they are bringing in the walls and lowering the fences at Citi Field. Now if they will only hide the scoreboard

Rep. Jackie Speier (D-San Mateo) says she is trying to feed herself this week on only 4.50 a day, which is what most people on food stamps get each day. While it’s an interesting experiment, I’d rather see those in Congress try to live long-term with only the healthcare plans available to most Americans.

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4 Comments on “Until death or reality do us part.”

  1. marc ragovin Says:

    Jeez, if Kim Kardashian was going to dump Kris Humphries this quickly, she just should have signed him to a 10-day contract

  2. Lisa Says:

    Please write the #Occupy Kris and Kim joke! It’s not their marriage Republicans want to protect, it’s their tax breaks. Because they’re job creators. For TV crews, TMZ, and lawyers. You can do better than that, I am certain.

  3. marc ragovin Says:

    Kim Kardashian and her NBA star husband Kris Humphries are divorcing after only 72 days of marriage. Guess you can say they are making a fast break.

    (yes, i know this is horrible)

  4. Gary Bachman Says:

    This is top-notch humor writing. Kudos!

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