It’s 3am in Washington, D.C.
Do you know where your debt ceiling is?
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Okay, let’s borrow from reality television and solve this debt ceiling thing in about one night. Lock Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell in a “fantasy suite” together and don’t let them out until they have a deal.
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President Obama referred to the fight over the debt ceiling as a “partisan three-ring circus.” Prompting calls for an immediate apology, from Ringling Brothers.
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In California, controller John Chiang stopped paying lawmakers when they couldn’t agree on a budget. Maybe we should have sent him to Washington, D.C. Monday along with the San Francisco Giants.
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Baseball stat of the night. Jered Weaver of the Angels has more wins in July (five), than the Seattle Mariners (four.)
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Apparently the New York Giants are considering resigning their former wide receiver Plaxico Burress. When asked, Giants management said they decided they might as well take a shot at it.
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New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, on the end of the lockout. “”I hope we gave a little lesson to the people in Washington because the debt ceiling is a lot easier to fix than this was.” Well, that ought to put rest to the rumor that NFL owners are a bunch of self-absorbed narcissistic jerks.
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Bengals owner Mike Brown insisted on Tuesday that he won’t trade quarterback Carson Palmer, who said he would retire rather than play again for Cincinnati. So in terms that Bengals fans understand, Brown considers Palmer’s contract “non-bailable.”
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A man at New Orleans’ airport injured a United ticket agent when he accidentally fired his hunting rifle while trying to check the gun with his baggage. Well, good to see Dick Cheney’s getting out and around again.
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Phillies fans are apparently planning to jeer Bruce Bochy for all three games the Giants are in San Francisco, because they are mad that he used their star pitchers in the All-Star game. (Really.) But to be fair to the fans, this is a tough time of year in Philadelphia, it’s at least four months until they can boo Santa Claus.
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Tuesday night the Seattle Mariners and Doug Fister (3-11) took their 16 game losing streak against the New York Yankees and C.C. Sabathia. (14-5) I think the Christians had a better chance against the Lions.
Explore posts in the same categories: political jokes, sports jokes, UncategorizedTags: debt ceiling jokes, Janice Hough, Mariners jokes, NFL jokes, Robert Kraft jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 
July 27, 2011 at 7:25 am
“Do you know where your debt ceiling is?”
Yes, and it sprung a leak, but rather than add a new roof, I just added another floor. I figured if I can put people to work, I can recoup my expense later. What a concept!
July 27, 2011 at 8:54 am
‘Tuesday night the Seattle Mariners and Doug Fister (3-11) took their 16 game losing streak against the New York Yankees and C.C. Sabathia. (14-5) I think the Christians had a better chance against the Lions.’
The joke is funny and I do like it. Nobody would’ve beaten Sabathia last night, the man was brilliant. I do feel for Doug Fister – easily the unluckiest of the unfortunate Seattle pitchers. Here’s some tragic stats: In 15 of Doug Fister’s 21 starts, the M’s have scored 1 run or less. In his 12 losses, they’ve scored 10 runs. His ERA is a very respectable 3.33. But there is hope for Doug…4 days remain in the interleague trading period.
July 27, 2011 at 8:04 pm
My RedSox could use a good starter……LOL