Left Coast Sports Babe

With LSU on probation  for a “major violation,” this now means every member of the SEC has been guilty of at least one such violation since 1990,  

Somehow, however, this probation  doesn’t extend to a postseason ban for the Tigers. (Who are one of the top schools in the NCAA as far as fans who will travel and buy tickets.)   Yeah, that’ll teach them.

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In the “department of repetitious redundancy department”,  for what it’s worth , SEC conference is redundant, since it stands for Southeastern Conference.”  If anyone cares.)

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SEC commissioner Mike Slive said that college sports need major reform. Really? The head of the SEC?  Isn’t that like Newt Gingrich talking about defending family values?  Or Bill Clinton signing the Defense of Marriage Act?   Or Bristol Palin promoting abstinence…? 

Oops, never mind.

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‘During an internal cross-check, the California Department of Motor Vehicles reported they may have sent almost 60,000 of their more than 2 million disabled parking placards to dead people. Or as a DMV spokesman said in their defense, “people who are really really really disabled.”

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Not saying Americans are out of touch, but wonder how many of them think the “debt ceiling” is the roof on a crematorium.

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Maybe we could get Americans on both sides to pay attention to the whole proceedings if we turned them into a reality show. (Start referring to congressional conferences as “Group Dates?”  And tune in next week to see which budget compromises get a rose?)

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“‘The full consequences of a default or even the serious prospect of a default by the United States are impossible to predict and awesome to contemplate. The nation can ill afford to allow such a result.” -California Senator Barbara Boxer today, quoting that noted liberal President Ronald Reagan.
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From Bill Littlejohn:  “Michael Vick appeared before Congress on Tuesday to denounce dogfighting—and as soon as he was through referring to Republicans and Democrats arguing over the debt ceiling, he talked about pit bulls”
 

A joint joke with the very funny Paul Seaburn:

“It’s hot in Minnesota, but Michelle Bachmann says she will not be incapacitated by ice cream headaches.”

Of course, you do need to have a brain to freeze.

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Michelle Bachmann herself said of the migraine issue. “I have prescription medication that I take whenever symptoms arise, and they keep the migraines under control.”

(And the unwritten subtext – “but of course, I still plan to repeal Obamacare and make medical care even more of a free market commodity. And  well,, most of you poor folks who can’t afford the medications aren’t doing anything important enough with your time that being incapacitated for a while would matter.)

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A woman was arrested near Portland for trying to sell her newborn baby? What kind of monster tries to sell a baby? A teenager, well, okay, that makes some sense.

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The Institute of Medicine, an independent nonprofit organization, issued a report that said birth control should be able at no cost to patients under the health care reform law. It would save unwanted pregancies and money. Just wondering, why doesn’t just one of these anti-welfare, anti-abortion conservatives come forward and agree with this?

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This entry was posted on July 21, 2011 at 12:20 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Bachmann jokes, debt ceiling jokes, SEC jokes

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