Front page news
Just a couple days ago, pundits were wondering if the world media was so focused on the royal newlyweds that they would have to live out their first weeks of marriage on the front page.
So to President Obama, William and Kate send the message “Well handled, sir. Well handled.”
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Former president George W. Bush declined an invitation from President Barack Obama to attend an observance at New York’s ground zero. “I’ll come, I’ll come.” said Rudy Guiliani.
This may only make sense to Giants fans, but…. So since they buried Osama Bin Laden at sea after they shot him, does it count as a Splash Hit?
Meanwhile, former Giants minor leaguer Francisco Liriano just threw a no-hitter. A 1-0 win for the Twins. Probably just as well San Francisco traded him. The way things are going these days Liriano would have had a nine inning no-decision.
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The Oakland A’s stadium is now known as “Overstock.com” stadium, after the online seller of surplus merchandise bought the naming rights. Considering there were about 9,000 fans in the stands yesterday for an afternoon day game, it’s time for Overstock.com to start selling A’s tickets.
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Rumor this morning – Brian Sabean asked the Navy Seals if they would consider trying to help revive the Giants’ bats. The Seals commander said they try to stay away from impossible missions.
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Actually both the Giants and Mets were struggling offensively, but combined today for 10 runs in the first six innings, and chased both (number 5) starters. Proving, I suppose, that while good pitching will beat good hitting, really bad pitching can’t even beat bad hitting.
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Why workers go postal. Overheard this morning in the local post office. Woman (loudly) “I asked for the largest flat rate priority mail box.” Clerk, (nicely) “Mam, that is the largest box we have.” Woman (indignantly) “Are you sure? It looks MUCH larger in the poster.”
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Michele Bachman is now laughing off the mistake she made by saying the Revolutionary War started in Lexington, New Hamphire, by saying “I promised I would never again use President Obama’s teleprompter.” Note to Michele, President Obama not only might catch such a mistake, but also his staff has been known actually to fact-check before loading the teleprompter.
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Trump cancelled an appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, after he didn’t like a comment the host made. In a note to Letterman, Trump wrote he was “disappointed” in being called a racist, and added “In actuality there is nobody who is less of a racist than Donald Trump.” Wonder why the Donald didn’t say “there is also nobody who is less of an egoist than Donald Trump”?
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If we had a parliamentary system of government, Prime Minister Obama would probably be calling for elections right now.
Explore posts in the same categories: political jokes, sports jokes, UncategorizedTags: Michele Bachman jokes, osama jokes, Royal wedding jokes, Trump jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 
May 4, 2011 at 6:55 am
“Why workers go postal. Overheard this morning in the local post office. Woman (loudly) “I asked for the largest flat rate priority mail box.” Clerk, (nicely) “Mam, that is the largest box we have.” Woman (indignantly) “Are you sure? It looks MUCH larger in the poster.”
He should have said, ‘Just like your ass, Mam.”
May 4, 2011 at 9:01 am
Reports explain how the Navy SEAL helicopters were able to infiltrate the Osama Bin Laden compound and take him out.
His ATC workers were sleeping at the time of the attack.
May 4, 2011 at 12:33 pm
NY Jets coach Rex Ryan has written a book. Industry sources predict it will earn him a lot of money unless something — or someone — eats into the profits
May 4, 2011 at 8:42 pm
wonder if there are a lot of footnotes in Rex’s book?
let me guess, he predicts the Jets will win the next Super Bowl. if that is so, then I just saved $28.95 on the book. ($24.95 at Amazon.com, $19.95 at WalMart and $1.49 at Value Village)
May 4, 2011 at 8:46 pm
Coming soon to a dollar store near you…