Left Coast Sports Babe

 

Lindsay Lohan said on the Tonight Show that her latest arrest was “definitely a wake-up call.” Yeah, but how many calls does it take? Think Lindsay needs to stop hitting the snooze button.

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The University of Florida dismissed senior star cornerback Janoris Jenkins from the team, less than a week after his arrest for marijuana possession. Jenkins had also been arrested and was on probation for being caught smoking pot in January, 2011 Guess it’s true what they say about marijuana affecting short term memory.

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Regarding the NFL owners pleading that they are losing money but refusing to open their books. This is kind of like one party in a divorce case telling his or her soon-to-be-ex-spouse, “This is all I can afford to pay, why can’t you just trust me?”

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At this point, NFL players may be allowed back to their team facilities, but they won’t be allowed to work out. “Why couldn’t this happen when I played?” asked JaMarcus Russell?

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An Alaska Airlines flight was evacuated last Friday afternoon at John Wayne Airport in California after a “suspicious powder” was found in a lavatory. Which turned out to be toilet paper remnants.. Other airlines have announced they may try to limit such threats by charging for toilet paper.

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William and Catherine (Kate) are trying to semi-economize on this Royal Wedding. But they did turn down an offer from Prince Charles for some of the leftover items from his wedding to Camilla. Apparently the newlyweds will stick with the traditional rice to be tossed after the ceremony, instead of using hay.

Watching replays of  Darren Ford’s miracle run around the bases for the Giants tonight.  (Went from first to third on an errant throw, ran home on an easy grounder when the infielder didn’t look him back carefully enough.) 

Maybe they should change his name to Darren Ferrari.

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So when Darren Ford was called up from Fresno to the Giants and told to get to San Francisco as soon as possible, I assume he ran the whole way?

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On a wet Monday in Pittsburgh, about 2600 fans showed up to see the Pirates beat the Nationals. Or as former Montreal Expos fans called it – “a really big crowd.”

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Sacramento representatives have made their final pitch to convince the league relocation committee that the city really wants and can support an NBA team. And failing that, they’d like to keep the Kings.

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Katie Couric is stepping down as the anchor for CBS News. Well, she lasted longer at the helm than Sarah Palin.

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Stocks closed at their highest levels in nearly three years thanks to stronger corporate earnings and a lift in consumer confidence. So how come none of the GOP Presidential contenders have tried to blame this on President Obama?

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Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus told reporters today that “birther” claims are a distraction from more important issues: “Trump and the candidates can talk about it all they want, but my position is that the president was born in the United States.” Translation – “This topic is making us look like a party of fruitcakes.”

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This entry was posted on April 27, 2011 at 12:12 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: hockey jokes, Palin jokes, Royal wedding jokes

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