Left Coast Sports Babe

The Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera, who said last year he did not have an “alcohol problem,” was arrested in Florida for DUI. According to the Sheriff’s dept, Cabrera “smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and TOOK A SWIG FROM A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH IN FRONT OF A DEPUTY.” (Caps mine.)” Well, I don’t know about an alcohol problem, but he sure has a stupidity problem.

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Cheryl Burke from “Dancing with the Stars’ has now confirmed rumors that she had a fling with her one-time partner Chad Ochocinco. Well, at least she had enough sense not to sign a long term contract with him.th him. 

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Michael Vick cancelled his appearance on “Oprah,” but also apparently has been receiving some inquiries about a possible appearance on “the View.” Great, so he may be going from dogfighting to catfighting.

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It’s after midnight, one week before the trade deadline. Do you know where Carmelo Anthony is?

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Former Partridge Family star David Cassidy pleaded no contest to DUI after being arrested with a .14 blood alcohol level and a half bottle of bourbon in the car. Sounds like he may have taken that “Come on get happy” a little too literally.

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Speaker of the House John Boehner reaffirmed his promise on budget cuts today, punctuating it with “Read my lips.” Yeah, that phrase worked out so well for the GOP before.

What’s next, will he declare of the Republican plans –  “mission accomplished?”

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Many passengers out of San Francisco today are complaining about flights delayed an hour or two by rain. And travelers living on the East Coast, in the Midwest and Texas are thinking, oh just SHUT UP.

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The Energy Department’s inspector general reported that California’s Lawrence Livermore National Lab failed to keep track of samples of dangerous drugs, including cocaine, amphetamines, opium and black tar heroin. And that some drugs were missing. Sounds like it could have been a heck of a Christmas party.

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Fox News was caught faking coverage at the CPAC straw poll. When Ron Paul beat Mitt Romney the network used footage from last year of people booing. Fox News isn’t always honest? Next thing we’ll hear is that Charlie Sheen has a substance abuse problem.

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So some think Florida governor and Tea Party favorite Rick Scott’s decision to turn down federal funds for High Speed Rail may help opponents derail HSR in California.  Okay, just how low have we fallen in the Golden State that we now aspire to be Florida?

From Bill Littlejohn: “In Egypt, they’ve found the stolen statue of King Tut’s father—it should be back in place at the entrance to Penn State’s Beaver football Stadium by next season”

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And by the time anyone reads this things may have changed, but as of the time of writing, my “don’t forget the lyrics” joke from last night is number three on Giglish.com  – behind Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon jokes. I’ll take it.

http://www.giglish.com/

This entry was posted on February 18, 2011 at 1:35 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: baseball jokes, Fox News jokes