Archive for December 25, 2009

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You can’t make this stuff up, Christmas night version

December 25, 2009

The following is an actual quote from Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh.

“It struck me that here was a man who literally took his team on his back this year and a program and a university. Leading them back to their rightful place, a legendary place in college football.

It was biblical to me; Toby Gerhart was John the Baptist, out into the wilderness making things straight and being called back into the wilderness to bring Stanford football back.”

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Some might think Harbaugh’s comments were sacrilegious. Florida fans are just glad he didn’t really over-reach and compare Gerhart to Tim Tebow.

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Angelina Jolie gave an interview in which she said ” “I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. “Why couldn’t I have married a nice girl like that?” said Tiger Woods.

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In the Emerald Bowl, USC’s rookie quarterback Matt Barkley, 19, will face Boston College’s rookie quarterback Dave Shinskie, 25. Known by his teammates as “Uncle Dave,” Shinskie spent six years in minor league baseball.

This might be the biggest age gap between quarterbacks since any Vikings game this year.

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Los Angeles Lakers fans, frustrated by their team’s play on Christmas night, littered the Staples Center court with giveaway foam fingers. As opposed to Golden State Warriors fans, who have been giving their team the finger all year.

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Christmas gifts and other thoughts…

December 25, 2009

After the Tiger Woods story, wonder how long it will take someone to come up with a phone that allows you to text with the electronic equivalent of invisible ink?

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For parents whose kids get Zhu Zhu pet hamsters that end up breaking before New Years, here’s one positive thought. At least you won’t have to bury them in the back yard. Maybe.

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A little pre-flight tension for Santa Claus this year. TSA demanded first and last legal names for all his reindeer. And as for anyone who asked for perfume, bubble bath or anything like a snow globe, you may be out of luck. Nobody warned Santa about that carryon liquid ban.

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USAToday.com lists the most popular stories of the day. Number one for December 24 – “Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins split”. Number four, “Senate passes healthcare bill.”

Does this really need a punchline?

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The Pope was apparently knocked down by a woman who jumped the barrier at St Peter’s during the start of Midnight Mass. His Holiness was unhurt. And all I can think of is the old joke about the Italian woman who listened to a Papal speech about chastity and birth control… and approached him afterwards with the comment “Hey, no play-a the game, no make-a the rules.”

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Sad news from Washington that legendary George Michael has passed away on Christmas Eve. At least he won’t have to watch any more of the Redskins’ season.

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So rollcall for the healthcare bill at 700a Thursday morning, necessitating pre-dawn wakeup calls for all Senators. It was the first time that many of them had been up at such an early hour… unless they were sneaking home.

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A book was returned to a Massachusetts library almost 99 years overdue. The book was titled
“Facts I Ought to Know about the Government of My Country” and it was supposed to have been returned by May 10, 1910.
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Well, it’s good to see that even then the young Larry King was doing his pre-interview homework.

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Philadelphia Eagles players honored Michael Vick by voting him the recipient of the team “Courage” award, for what he’s been through. Does that mean that someday PGA players could vote Tiger Woods “Husband of the Year?”

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