Archive for April 8, 2009

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Idol mistakes.

April 8, 2009

For the second time this season, American Idol ran so long in their live show that they went past their scheduled finish. Thus viewers who recorded the episode missed the best part.

Who’s their technical  consultant?  Joe Biden?

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A major character on Fox’s “House” left the television series to take a position with the Obama administration because he couldn’t do both jobs at the same time.

Shame  Fox’s “24” never thought of offering an acting job to Dick Cheney.

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The show is down to their final seven contestants.  Will be interesting to see if they get down to one before American car companies.

 

A thought while watching Opening Night at A T and T Park, the SF Giants vs. the Milwaukee Brewers:

The television announcers said “If you are looking for the Timberwolves-Warriors NBA  game, it’s on alternate channel …”

The Timberwolves are 23-55, the Warriors are 28-49.

The question is  “Why?”

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Or rather, what they should have said “If you’re looking for the Timberwolves-Warriors game”  maybe it’s time to get a life.

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Some folks say we don’t have enough good news these days.  Well, how about this… The President of the United States just got back from a trip to Europe,  and he didn’t embarrass the country once.

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On the other hand,  President Obama is returning from Europe to face the hard realities of some campaign promises at home.  As in, it’s April.  Where is the puppy?

 

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Bernie Madoff’s Mets season tickets will be auctioned online after his arrest for running a Ponzi scheme.

A Ponzi scheme is when investors pay money with no real chance of return…sort of like buying season tickets for the Mets  for the rights to buy tickets for any potential playoff games.

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Reprinted by popular demand.

April 8, 2009

Now that Barack and Michelle Obama are heading back from their World Tour…

(In keeping with Michelle’s wishes not to spoil their children, Sasha and Malia will soon be sporting t-shirs that say “My parents went to G-20 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”)

But here is a piece I wrote last year.  And yes, had John McCain somehow pulled off last year’s election, it could have happened:

Sarah Palin meets the Queen of England.

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“Great to meetcha.  Can I call you Liz?  Are you a hockey mom too?  Polo?
No, my kids don’t swim much.

Swell house.  Yes, I’d love tea. You betcha. You know, we have English
Breakfast Tea at my house.

John has told me that you guys have been such a big help in  Iraq.     
And we just can’t wave the white flag of surrender. I mean, just   
because we are trying to control a country across the ocean that   
doesn’t want us there…   Did I mention that John McCain and I are   
Mavericks?

And I brought you a present.  It’s a wolf I shot that I found on   
your lawn.  I even field dressed it for you.   But, gosh, your   
English wolves have short legs.  A Corgi?  No, what’s that?  Oh,   
terribly sorry Liz.  Say it ain’t so.  Dog-gone.”

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Yes, it could have happened. But it didn’t.  Sometimes we Americans get it right.  Even on American Idol and the Presidential Election.

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First pitches of 2009

April 8, 2009

So Former President George W. Bush threw out the first pitch at the Texas Rangers’ opener.

Presume it was a pre-emptive strike.

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Ted Kennedy threw the first pitch out in Boston.    My sense is that at this point, though he didn’t get much on the pitch, it broke sharply to the left, and most would say it improved with age.

 

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But while we’re at it, how about the hypothetical first pitches?

 

Like Sarah Palin’s?  Much hyped, less impressive in the actual delivery. Despite the fact that she apparently was a winner in  the Alaska League.

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At the San Francisco Giants home opener at A T and T Field, US Air pilot Sully Sullenberger throw out the first pitch. (This is for real.)

Presume it was a splash hit.

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And Citigroup executives’  first pitch at Citi Field?  Presumably in need of taxpayer help to make it across the plate.

 

More to follow, suggestions encouraged.

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