As the Yankees turn…

Derek Jeter defended his former manager and said, despite the book controversy that Joe Torre would never intentionally be cruel or try to hurt anybody. That remains George Steinbrenner’s job.

What’s all the big fuss about Phelps and the bong? Not exactly like marijuana would have helped him swim faster. Now if Takeru Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut were seen using one before the hot dog eating championship…

(note, Chestnut is the current champion, Kobayashi is a six time champion.)

This just in, all cellphones and cameras will now be confiscated at the door for any parties involving Jamaica’s track team.

And yet another Olympic scandal to tarnish a sport’s reputation. At a recent party a member of the U.S. snowboarding team was seen NOT smoking marijuana.

In Pittsburgh, city officials have adjusted their original estimates of 300,000 in the streets for the Steelers’ Super Bowl victory parade. Apparently about half of that number was just in line at the unemployment office.

Prosecutors now say that they believe Barry Bonds was taking a female fertility drug to mask his steroid use. In Bonds’ defense his lawyers say actually he was fascinated by the idea of octuplets.

And since it’s been a while since any Hillary jokes…

Hillary Clinton spent some of her first week as Secretary of State calling world leaders and said they all had a “appreciation” for the new Obama foreign policy. They also asked her, next time can you please not call at 3am?

Hillary Clinton said in a town meeting with State Department staff that sometimes she completely forgot she ran for president; “it was like a blur it went by so fast.” And of course, she was distracted by sniper fire at the time.

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