Posted tagged ‘Prejean jokes’

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Schwarzenegger and other rock stars.

November 25, 2009

It wasn’t embarassing enough for TMZ to catch his wife Maria Schriver driving while holding a cellphone and parking illegally. Now Governor Schwarzenegger has also been photographed with HIS Porsche parked illegally. But maybe this means Arnold’s next job should be with the 49ers. At least he knows how to get into the red zone.

(any reader outside California feel free to substitute “Redskins.”

Speaking of Washington, once again the Redskins are embroiled in a controversy and a lawsuit over whether their name is derogatory towards Indians. Although if Cleveland gets much worse, expect a lawsuit over their name being potentially derogatory – from Crayola over the color Brown.

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Has anyone else notice how many politicians send nice emails this time of year saying things like “Time for Thanks,” or “Thanks for all your Support,”, or something similar? And then at the bottom of the email is always a button to solicit donations.

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After his racy performance at the American Music Awards, Adam Lambert’s appearance on Good Morning America was cancelled. Apparently ABC felt it would be inappropriate for a potential family audience. Instead, they spent the time discussing Carrie Prejean’s sex tapes and Mark Sanford’s ethics violations.

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Or interviewing US Air’s pilot hero. And if Captain “Sully” Sullenberger is now having “rock star sex” after his heroic landing, does that mean he is kissing his co-pilot and simulating gay acts?

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I suppose I shouldnt go there on the idea that, okay, “Sully” gets “rock star sex” for landing the plane in the Hudson… what do those Northwest pilots get for missing Minneapolis? The obvious thought is that that their wives said that it wasn’t unusual for them to get distracted and miss the target. But other suggestions encouraged.

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Former Miss California Carrie Prejean is dating former Cal and current Rams backup quarterback Kyle Boller. In fact, Prejean dedicated her book to him. For his part Boller says Carrie’s giving him a whole new appreciation for watching tape.

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Personal responsibility, ethics and other jokes.

November 12, 2009

So Carrie Prejean says she was “pressured” into having breast implants, and made a sex tape just to please a boyfriend. Now the former Miss California hopes Americans will buy her book where she talks about standing up for herself….

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Carrie Prejean says she’s been “Palinized,” and talked to Larry King about the “trials conservative women have to face.” Anybody beside me want to give Palin and Prejean a biography of Maggie Thatcher? Lesson one – “Don’t whine.”

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But maybe Larry King was just a little mesmerized by the former beauty pageant winner. He allegedly said afterwards that Prejean was the most impressive conservative woman he has interviewed since Carry Nation.

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Eliot Spitzer, the formerly disgraced, former Governor of New York, is now giving a lecture on ethics at Harvard. You know standards might be falling just a bit when ethical behavior means paying fair market value for a prostitute.

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But back to California, another of those stories you can’t make up – Damon Dunn, age 33, a former NFL player, is now running for Secretary of State. What’s one of the main jobs for the Secretary of State? Running elections. Mr. Dunn has never run for office before, but he says has voted, exactly ONCE. In 2009.

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Let’s see, Meg Whitman, running for Governor, admits to a voting record that is spotty at best. Carly Fiorina, running for Senate, has probably voted even less. And now Damon Dunn, running for Secretary of State, has voted exactly once. What’s the Republican plan here, saving money by eliminating ballots and returning to a Monarchy?

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Or perhaps Whitman, Fiorina and Dunn considering their lack of voting another example of the superiority of the private sector. Why vote when you can just buy the winners?

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Mike Tyson was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport for punching a photographer at the United Airlines ticket counter. Which was really surprising. Normally the only people who make people want to punch them at the airport work for the airlines.

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Major League Baseball has started announcing all their awards – Gold Gloves, MVPs, Cy Youngs, etc… Or as the New York Yankees call them – our shopping list.
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the next two are a little tacky. In case by some accident there are people with delicate sensibilities reading this blog. (Hah)

Carrie Prejean, dropped her lawsuit against the Miss California pageant when attorneys revealed an explicit video of Prejean performing solo sex acts. As Alex Kaseberg said “Let’s just say it looks like Prejean took it literally when pageant officials told her to go screw herself.”

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But maybe we should give Ms. Prejean the benefit of the doubt. She believes in traditional marriage. Which for a lot of people after a few years ends up meaning solo sex. Maybe it was a training video.

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Finally, back to sports from Bill Littlejohn. “Well, looking at Sammy Sosa’s skin lately, it’s obvious he’s still comfortable around the bleachers.”

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