Posted tagged ‘perfect game jokes’

Winners and losers and ties, oh my.

June 15, 2012

A second contestant has come forward to alleged that the Miss USA 2012 title was fixed. Really? What do pageant officials think they’re doing…running a boxing match?

 

So now that the Heat won Thursday and the NBA finals are tied 1-1, basketball fans are excitedly waiting for game three on…. Sunday? And they say baseball is a slow game.

What’s  David’s Stern’s goal here by extending the  NBA season later and later?   Getting the playoffs to the point that a team’s first round draft pick has a chance to play in the same year’s playoffs?

Former Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan withdrew his name for Charlotte’s head coaching job, saying “They were wonderful and there were no problems. I just took myself out.” If Sloan really thinks that about the Bobcats, he’s probably not smart enough for the job.

(added Vancouver comic Torbin Rolfsen,  ” He would have faced some tough interview questions, for example: “Are you the man who can lead us to double-digit wins?”) –

Mitt Romney will make his first non-Fox Sunday talk show appearance this weekend on CBS’s “Face the Nation.” In honor of Mitt’s frequent flexibility on issues, will they temporarily re-title the show “Two Face the Nation?”

So Tiger Woods shot a -1 during the first round of the U.S. Open. Anyone hear ESPN talk about who’s actually LEADING the Open? Yeah, me neither.

Matt Cain threw a perfect game against the Astros on a Wednesday night. If the Giants had still been at Candlestick at least 3,000 people would have seen it. –

A bit inside baseball, but Tuesday night,  the Giants’ Madison Bumgarner hit his first home run of the year.  On Wednesday,  besides his perfect game,  Matt Cain did get a base hit.     From reader Tom Dodd ” I can imagine Bumgarner talking to Matt after the game: “A single? That’s the best you can do?”

NY Mets manager after R.A. Dickey’s disputed one-hit game earlier Tuesday night: “If anybody deserves a no hitter or a perfect game tonight it was him.” Uh, as it turned out, not exactly.

Aubrey Huff may have to go on the DL after injuring his knee, when he tried to jump over the dugout railing to join the celebration of Matt Cain’s perfect game. Thereby answering a question for SF Giants fans – “Can a perfect night get any better?”

Rielle Hunter is starting her book tour next week for “What Really Happened: John Edwards, Our Daughter, and Me.” Was the timing planned around the Sandusky trial to assure she and John won’t be the most hated persons in America?

Lakers – Celtics – “The haves vs. the haves.”

June 4, 2010

Or perhaps the other motto for this NBA finals “Cinderella has left the building.


In Washington D.C. to accept an award at the Library of Congress, Paul McCartney quipped “It’s nice to have a president again who knows what a library is.” Probably just as well though that Sir Paul didn’t ask the 48 year old Obama if he knew about the Beatles.


Luckiest athlete as far as avoiding embarrassment this week? Serena Williams. How often does a number one ranked athlete in the world get upset at a major event, and it’s not even the top story on Sportscenter?

The sports world is still buzzing about Jim Joyce’s mistake at first base last night. It might be the most famous blown call in history. Or at least since when Bill Clinton was talking on the phone in the Oval Office while being serviced by Monica.


Give Jim Joyce a lot of credit. He admitted making a mistake a lot faster than anyone connected with BP.


Joyce and pitcher Armando Galarraga actually are turning out to be one of the classier sports stories of the year. As opposed to this one.

Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, already under fire for accepting free Lakers tickets, nonetheless went to the opening game of the finals. As reported in the Los Angeles Times:

“I am going to the Lakers game tonight,”he said. “And I’ve made it very clear, as I understand the rules and regulations, it is not a reportable gift when I am in an official capacity. I will be going tonight in an official capacity.”

Can’t imagine how the Lakers did it without him.


And commissioner Bud Selig is apparently not going to reverse the bad call that denied Armando Galarraga a perfect game. But he should. It was the most embarrassing sports story to come out of Detroit in recent memory, well, not involving the Detroit Lions.


A T and T is eliminating unlimited data plans for their smartphones. So customers who want to stay in touch with friends may have to actually use the phones to make calls.


From Bill Littlejohn: Jose Canseco says that he could’ve been a professional bowler.I don’t know about that–he’s always had trouble staying out of the gutter”

Naptime is now any time for Junior.

June 3, 2010

Ken Griffey, Jr, 40, announced his retirement today from Major League Baseball. And Jamie Moyer, 48, commented “So young?”


or

Ken Griffey. Jr. 40, just announced his retirement. So far this season he was batting .184 with no home runs and seven RBIs. But considering his age and stats, it won’t be long until he gets an offer from the San Francisco Giants.


Reader Gary Morton commented on the Giants’ not trying to sign Dontrelle Willis, he of the latest $12 million disappointing contract “Of course they wouldn’t try to sign Willis – he can hit.”

(and yes, Dontrelle Willis, whatever his faults has long been considered one of the best hitting pitchers in Major League Baseball.)


The Tigers’ Armando Galarraga threw a perfect game Wednesday night, except for the umpire’s admitted error in calling the batter safe at first with two outs in the ninth.

It was the worst call in Detroit history, well, at least since GM decided to build the Chevy Vega.


This could go down in history as Major League Baseball’s first “28 up-28 down” perfect game.


Give first-base umpire Jim Joyce some credit, however, for manning up and saying “I just cost that kid a perfect game.”

There were 20 perfect games in history before tonight. Wonder if there’s been 20 times an umpire said “I made a mistake?”


Another day, another problem with BP’s equipment and their efforts to cap their damaged oil well. Maybe they shouldn’t be buying all this stuff from ACME corporation.

(Says Alex Kaseberg in a “great minds” – BP is starting to make Wil E. Coyote look like a genius)


Just wondering, if we waterboard terrorists to get the answers that might save our country, how long until someone suggests “oilboarding” executives at BP?

Now Serena is out of the French Open. This has turned out to be the year that Americans in Paris have fallen faster than “Drill Baby Drill” signs now in Louisiana.


An Alaska newspaper has warned writer Joe McGinniss that Sarah Palin has a right to shoot to protect her property. But does any politcial reporter really need to be told that someone who wanted to be a Republican vice-president has a gun and is not afraid to use it?