Posted tagged ‘New Moon jokes’

Myths and Urban legends…

November 24, 2009

Urban Meyer, coach of the Gators says he wants to dispel rumors he will take the Notre Dame job, and says he is staying at Florida “as long as they’ll have me.”

Or at least until Notre Dame makes him a much better offer…

But really, if Meyer wants millions to coach an overhyped, unachieving team with ridiculously rich backers, he should probably hold out for the Redskins.

The Indian Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, will be visiting President Obama in Washington today, and apparently hoping for evidence that Obama values the “strategic partnership” between the two countries. Especially compared to U.S. relations with China. The short version of Singh’s agenda “Debt, schmebt, want to kiss your tech support goodbye?””

Governor Schwarzenegger announced his appointment of Republican Abel Maldonado as lieutenant governor on the new Jay Leno show. Democrats immediately accused Arnold of trying to slip his choice through while no one was looking.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is facing 37 ethics charges . Yes, 37. Or as they call that in Louisiana, a good start.

37 separate ethics violations for Governor Sanford. Wouldn’t it be simpler for the South Carolina legislature to pass a resolution saying “You’re a scumball, please leave”?

This is President Obama’s first Thanksgiving in Washington, which means he has to officially pardon a turkey. Though many Democrats think believe Obama’s already done enough for Joe Lieberman.

Ah for the good old days, when appealing to your “inner 13 year old” mean the rock band Kiss, and not Twilight.

More about those amazing weekend numbers, over $142 million gross for “The New Moon.” And 80 percent of the audience was women. There were even rumors that of the 20 percent men, about a dozen were actually straight.

Christie’s is auctioning off a first edition of Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species.” They hope the book will fetch at least 60,000 British pounds. Although the number of people buying Sarah Palin’s book has slightly tarnished the theory of human evolution.