Posted tagged ‘Miss American jokes. Americas Cup jokes’

Paint Drying Alert.

September 18, 2013

America’s Cup races 11 and 12 were postponed today. This after a close race 10 where New Zealand skipper Dean Barker said afterwards “If you didn’t enjoy today’s racing out there, you should watch another sport.” Most Americans sports fans didn’t hear him though, as they were watching other sports.

If the Kiwis win both races today, the America’s Cup will go back to New Zealand. Not to say most in the US won’t care, but to paraphrase Shakespeare, “Easy will lie the head that used to wear the crown.”

A South Carolina woman was arrested for allegedly injuring her housemate with knives because he wouldn’t stop playing Eagles music. Good thing the guy wasn’t a Justin Bieber fan or he’d probably be dead.

Just announced: the Cal Bears football game on September 28 against #2 Oregon in Eugene will be at 730p for television. Presumably to attract fans of “Breaking Bad” who enjoy watching prime-time slaughter.

Who says the NFL isn’t looking out for the common man. The league said today that 40% of tickets to this year’s Super Bowl will be under $1000.

Penthouse Magazine has filed for bankruptcy. Said many women – “What’s Penthouse?” Said most men under 30 – “What’s a magazine?”

KFC in Indonesia is now offering for dessert, a donut topped with Swiss and Cheddar cheese. This wouldn’t happen in the U.S. They’d sell the donut with cheese AND bacon.

From Bill Littlejohn:  FC Barcelona has signed a nine-year-old Swedish prodigy, Zico Marecaldi Jr., to their training academy.During the process, they were advised by recruiters from American college football’s Southeastern Conference.

The World Champion SF Giants are finally looking like the team they were in Oct. 2012. Too bad it took until Sept. 2013.

Miss South Carolina Brooke Mosteller last Sunday night in her Miss America pageant intro: “I’m from the state where 20% of our homes are mobile because that’s how we roll.” Maybe she should have stuck to “World Peace.”.

Very different cases, but Edward Snowden, Aaron Alexis…. Maybe the U.S. does need to look at the requirements for screening subcontractors?

Congrats to Chris Davis, for breaking the Baltimore Orioles single season home run record. But as vehement as Davis is about not being juiced, does he really want any more comparisons with Brady Anderson?

 

Fox News’ Elisabeth Hasselback, talking about how the left has it wrong, and what we REALLY need is video game control “What about frequency testing? How often has this game been played? I’m not one to get in there and say, monitor everything, but if this, indeed, is a strong link, right, to mass killings then why aren’t we looking at frequency of purchases per person? And also, how often they’re playing and maybe they time out after a certain hour.”

Guess she doesn’t think if video games are outlawed, only outlaws will have video games.

 

Here we go again. Some in the GOP threatening to shut down the U.S. Government if we don’t defund Obamacare. Now, whatever you think of Obamacare, wouldn’t you think if Americans really wanted to do that, they would have tossed the President backing it out of office?