Posted tagged ‘Chelsea Clinton wedding jokes’

One wedding…and a potential funeral.

July 31, 2010

The wedding, of course, was Chelsea Clinton’s. The potential funeral, Levi Johnston’s, now that Mama Grizzly has heard embarassing stories leak about TWO ex-girlfriends he apparently got back together with between engagements to Bristol.

Chelsea Clinton’s wedding was beautiful and touching. Not only did Hillary do the typical mother-of-the-bride crying, apparently Bill cried too. Right during the part where the minister said “If anyone knows of a reason why the couple should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

He was crying that no one spoke up when he married Hillary.

One of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses, porn star Joslyn James, referred to another of the golfer’s alleged mistresses as “an embarrassment.” We knew Tiger was at least at one time the greatest golfer in the world, but he may have pulled off a more difficult feat – making Bill Clinton look like he had classy taste in women.

Hillary Clinton wore an Oscar de la Renta gown at Chelsea’s wedding. Apparently no designer mother-of-the-bride pantsuits were available.

For everyone tired of all the hype regarding Chelsea Clinton’s wedding, there may be some silver lining in the Levi Johnston paternity story. We’re a lot less likely to go through this all again with Bristol Palin.

Actually, the rumors are that the on-again, off-again Palin-Johnston engagement is off, again. Even Brett Favre is saying “Kids, make up your minds.”

Before the trade deadline the Yankees picked up Kerry Wood. Who pronounced himself thrilled to be heading to the Bronx, and ready to be injured for the post-season.

The Seattle Mariners set a franchise record by losing 22 games in July. (Even with the All-Star break.) The only team with a worse record this month… BP’s PR department.

No wonder there are worries about consumer spending and the recovery: The New York Yankees added only $4.8 million to their payroll at the trade deadline.

From Bill Littlejohn : On Friday night against the Cubs, the Rockies set a record with 11 straight hits.They broke the record held by Michael Phelps on his bong”