Honoring Mr. Blackwell..

Posted October 24, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Mr. Blackwell died this week. In his honor, the Republicans are establishing an award: it’s for spending the most money you can while still looking like you shop at Wal-Mart.

By the way, to any new readers, this is primarily a sports jokes blog, with politics thrown in.    Until November 4, however, it may be the other way around.   And while I will cheerfully attempt jokes about anyone, I am an unabashed supporter of Barack Obama.    (Besides, alas, he’s not that funny.)  For any McCain-Palin fans, I hope you have a sense of humor about it, otherwise check back post-election.  I do promise some Biden jokes.

John McCain accused Barack Obama of recently changing his tax plan while running for President.   As opposed to himself,  who changed his tax plan back when he decided to run for President.

Football coach Rich Rodriguez agreed to terms with the University of Michigan back in January.  But he just finally on Friday signed the six year deal  worth an estimated $2.5 million a year. 

Good thing too, with all those other schools just waiting to steal away a 2 and 5 coach.

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After Barry Bonds sat out most of the 2006 season after problems with knee surgery performed by his personal doctor, now comes the news that Tom Brady’s personal surgeon may have botched his knee surgery as well.

Meanwhile, in the NBA, several players have suggested to Kobe Bryant that perhaps he should look beyond the Lakers team physician for a second opinion about HIS knee.

The fall classic…

Posted October 23, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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World Series or not, most folks in the Tampa area still aren’t really into their baseball team yet.   In fact, when a local newspaper asked residents what they thought about the Rays,  the most common response – “It’s best to use sunscreen. ” 

How can you tell a  Rays bandwagon fan?

They’re at the game.

How can you tell a Phillies bandwagon fan? 

They actually cheer.

By the way, thanks to reader Mike Bush of Santa Barbara who reminded me that  they are the Tampa Bay Rays, not the Tampa Rays, and that Tampa Bay is not a city.   It’s the Tampa -St. Pete -Clearwater area.    And having just been to the stadium this summer, I know it’s in St. Petersburg.    But Tampa is easier to write. 

Of course, they aren’t the Miami Marlins either.  Or the Denver Rockies.  Or for that matter the Phoenix Diamondbacks.   What is it about expansion teams.  One city’s not enough, they have to claim the whole state?   

The Republican National Committee spent $150,000 on campaign clothes and accessories for Sarah Palin.    $150,000!   For about two months.  Who was selling them the clothes?  Scott Boras?

Actually for as poorly as the campaign is doing in October, you’d expect most of the outfits to have pinstripes. 

In related news, the Obama campaign admitted spending about $50  recently on accessories for Joe Biden.   All on rolls of duct tape.  For his mouth.

And this from Nick Coombs:  Senator John McCain chided Barack Obama for saying nice things about the Rays while having previously said he was rooting for the Phillies.  Actually McCain was disappointed the A’s didn’t make it, he would have loved an all-Philadelphia world series.

October Surprise:

Posted October 22, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Fox has made no secret of their preference for a McCain-Palin victory in November,  But alas, the biggest October surprise has turned out to be a Phillies-Rays World Series.

How old is the ageless Jamie Moyer of the Phillies?  He’s so old he can remember the last time the Phillies won the World Series.

How young are the Phillies and Rays on average?  Even Barack Obama says they’re inexperienced.

Oops.  John McCain slipped up at a campaign rally in referring to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.  Not the Rays as they have been known this season.  But to be fair, most folks in the Tampa/St. Pete area don’t know about the name change either.

These are heady times for sports fans in the Tampa area.   With the NHL Lightning’s season underway and the Rays in the World Series, for the first time ever in October, they get to ignore two local teams at once.

The New York Yankees and Dallas Cowboys have joined up to form a  company that will provide food, retail and other services at their new stadiums.  And if operations go well, company staff will be free to work for other teams during the postseason.

There is talk of adding a second NHL team maybe by expansion,  in Toronto, Canada, home of the Maple Leafs.  Hasn’t the city suffered enough?

 

(For all you American readers who aren’t hockey fans, the Maple Leafs are the closest thing Canada has to the Cubs.  Much beloved, and they haven’t won a championship in over 40 years.)

California Governor Arnold Schwarenegger, who has been assiduously avoiding the presidential campaign, just announced he will go to Columbus, Ohio on Halloween to campaign for Senator McCain.   This way if anyone sees him, Arnold can pretend to be just another guy in a Terminator mask.   

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn:

“Mr. Blackwell, composer of the annual Worst Dressed List, has passed away at age 86.  A football scholarship to the University of Oregon has been established in his name”

(if you are not a Pac-10 fan this may not make sense until you Google pictures.  If you are, no further explanation needed.)

As we approach Halloween…

Posted October 21, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Most Americans are working on their costumes…
Rumor has it members of the Cincinnati Bengals are planning to come as professional football players.


Some people like to dress up for Halloween as cheerleaders, athletes, boy or girl scouts, something from their younger lives…. Which is why John McCain is going as a maverick.

Online bidding went as high as $65,100 per seat for each PSL (personal seat license) for the best seats to New York Jets seats in the new Meadowlands stadium, which is scheduled to open in 2010.  Lucky winners will get to pay $700 per ticket to the games themselves.

The most upset people in New York about these auction prices?  Yankees management, who wonder “Why didn’t we think of this?” 

A month ago, the Dallas Cowboys were 3-0, and the stock market was over 11,000.  Guess maybe they really are America’s team.

And John McCain said he just “loves being an underdog.”  Finally, the real reason he picked Sarah Palin.

Congrats to the Rays…

Posted October 20, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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The Tampa Bay Rays, who went from the worst team in baseball in 2007, to the World Series now in 2008 by beating the Boston Red Sox in game seven of the ALCS, 3 to 1.

The save went to rookie David Price, who just last year was pitching for Vanderbilt University.   So I guess the headlines tomorrow “The Price is Right?”

 

Until this year, Tampa was known as the “Devil Rays,” but they dropped “Devil” from their name in the offseason.   Might be one of the most sucessful exorcisms in recent history.

Coach Mike Krzyzewski, whose Duke team has not won a NCAA basketball championship since 2001, is reportedly considering renaming the team the Duke Blues.

 

The Rays had a 2008 payroll of just under $44 million.  For those of you scoring at home,  less than the San Francisco Giants and Los Angeles Dodgers combined to pay Barry Zito, Andruw Jones and Jason Schmidt.

And for San Francisco area football fans,  the Stanford Cardinal 23-20 lost to UCLA Saturday.  UCLA won the game on a late touchdown drive, helped by four Stanford penalties for 35 yards.  For the game,  the Cardinal was penalized 10 times for 103 yards, including some personal fouls.  No word yet on a rumor that the team will change its colors to silver and black.

Late night thoughts…

Posted October 18, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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What a weird world we live in, when a presidential candidate apologizes to David Letterman for missing a show, but doesn’t apologize to the American public for missing more votes than anyone else in the Senate.

After weeks of being lampooned by Tina Fey, Sarah Palin showed up in person on Saturday Night Live.  Apparently Joe Biden also inquired about coming to speak on the show sometime,  but NBC informed him that the program only runs for an hour and a half.

Hell freezes over…

Posted October 18, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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…The Chicago Tribune for the first time in its 150 year history has endorsed a Democrat for president.

Add one more thing to the list of miracles that have happened  before the Cubs winning another World Series.

Sarah Palin was campaigning in Ohio today, continuing her talk about “pro-America” places.  To be fair, she thought about visiting “amateur-America,” but the Bengals were having a closed practice.

It started with “Joe Millionaire.”  Now we have “Joe Six-Pack” and “Joe the Plumber.”  If America doesn’t get over its fascination with these “average Joes” we someday could end up with “Joe President.”

Oops, never mind.

And this weekend at the box office the reigning powerhouse “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” will take on “W.”    One’s a funny movie about being cute, spoiled and pampered, until you end up in a place where you are confused, lost and over your head.     The other’s about a talking dog.

Joe the Plumber, and more baseball…

Posted October 17, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Turns out that “Joe the Plumber” doesn’t even have a plumber’s license.  But he can see the licensing bureau from his house.

And “Joe the Plumber” says he favors McCain’s economic policies.  He figures there will be less taxes he will have to evade.

The reason McCain talked so much about “Joe the Plumber.”  In his debate prep bringing up his friend G. Gorden Liddy the Plumber didn’t go that well…

But whatever Joe thinks,  Josephine the Plumber was listening to the part of the debate about equal pay.  And she is pissed.

John McCain said of the Obama-Biden ticket “We’ve got them right where we want them.”  Funny thing, that’s exactly what the Dodgers said about the Phillies.

The Tampa Bay Rays scored five runs in four innings against Daisuke Matsuzaka, aka Dice-K, but let the Boston Red Sox come back to win in game 5.

So will the headline read  “Rays roll Dice, but still lose?”

Approaching the World Series…

Posted October 16, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Don’t you love karma and payback…

Fox owns the rights to televise the World Series, although many playoff games have been on TBS.  To increase ratings, the playoffs games have generally been in the evening, with the “prime” games starting about 830p.   Yes, 830p, guaranteeing that the games won’t end until close to midnight at best.    But yes, all in the name of ratings, even if chlldren, and many adults, can’t stay up for the games.

So how perfect is it that we are one win away from the Fox World Series rating bonanza of Philadelphia vs. Tampa Bay?

John McCain said in Wednesday’s debate that he would put the “most qualified” candidate on the Supreme Court. 

Like he chose Sarah Palin? 

(Guess this means his pick would be a toss-up between Amy Brenneman and  Judge Judy.)

The University of Wisconsin band will be allowed to play this weekend, following a suspension for a hazing, alcohol related incidents and a “pattern of humiliating behavior.” 

In related news, despite their “humiliating behavior” against Toledo, the University of Michigan football team will be allowed to play this weekend too.

Despite Manny Ramirez’s .520 batting average and four home runs in the post season, Los Angeles was bounced out of the National League Championship Series in 5 games by the Phillies.

Guess Manny being Manny wasn’t enough to offset the Dodgers being the Dodgers.

Many viewers didn’t even bother to turn on game five of the Dodgers Phillies series, since they figured the outcome was a foregone conclusion.

The same rationale many other viewers used not to watch the third Presidential debate.

Only one more debate to go…

Posted October 15, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Finally, something that both Democrats and Republicans can celebrate together.

John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate gave the Republican ticket a quick boost,  but the effects seem to be fading.  Can we call it a “dead moose bounce?”

John McCain is coming up with a new economic plan almost every daily.  Some say the continual change in plans in cynical.  But give the guy a break, maybe he simply can’t remember what plan he prposed yesterday.

Contrary to what John McCain says, Barack Obama is not “measuring the drapes” in the Oval Office.   Joe Biden, however, has been rumored to be trying to get his draft of  his first speech as vice-president under three hours.

The Dodgers are still reeling from their eighth inning meltdown Monday night.   And think of how much worse it would have been if their fans had stayed around to see it.

Sports Illustrated has an online section at SI.com listing their experts’ picks for the World Series.  Excuse me, how many of these “experts” had the Rays anywhere NEAR the World Series?

(let alone the Phillies.)

But before we get too cocky about baseball experts, can we see a show of hands for all those who predicted the last undefeated team in the NFL would be the Tennessee Titans?

Playoff thoughts..

Posted October 13, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Despite the Philadelphia Phillies’ 3-1 lead in the NLCS, Ryan Howard is hitting only .188.

Maybe he really is the next Alex Rodriguez.

But Philadelphia fans are still thrilled.  With one more win they get to boo their team in the World Series.

What’s the difference between a free market capitalist and a socialist? 

About 3000 points on the Dow.

John McCain is stepping up his attacks by association on Barack Obama.    Next apparently he will say that while in Chicago Obama was a fan of Rex Grossman.

Excessive fines?

Posted October 13, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Three members of the Miami Dolphins were fined $10,000 each by the NFL for last week’s “excessive celebrating” after a touchdown.  Well, at least there’s one thing that probably won’t happen to the 0-6 Cincinnati Bengels.

(Of course, maybe it’s just my imagination, but weren’t the Bengals playing better when they were getting arrested?)

Monta Ellis of the Golden State Warriors was fined $3 million for getting injured while driving a moped, which was forbidden by the terms of his contract.  No word on how much he will also be fined by his teammates in kangaroo court.  A moped?!

According to ESPN, after Friday’s practice, Adam “Pacman” Jones apparently apologized to Dallas Cowboy teammates for his latest “incident.”

Then he vowed that such a thing would not happen again.

Well, one out of two’s not bad.

A group in Detroit is trying to raise $15 million to save what is left of baseball’s old Tiger Stadium.    Some area fans have promised to donate the group will also look into tearing down the football stadium, Ford Field, preferably with the Lions in it.

Joey Chestnut of San jose ate 45 pizza slices in 10 minutes Sunday to win the first Famous Famiglia World Pizza Eating Championship in Times Square.  Well, we may be struggling in Iraq, and struggling with the economy at home, but suppose it’s nice to know that America is upholding our superpower ranking in SOMETHING.

 

John McCain has vowed if elected to cut capital gains taxes..   Of course, given the way the market is going, most Americans won’t HAVE any capital gains taxes….

McCain also vowed that during the debate he would kick Barack Obama’s ‘you-know-what.”   He wasn’t trying to be cute, he just forgot what he was going to kick.

Dropping the puck

Posted October 12, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Saturday night Sarah Palin dropped the puck at a Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.   Meanwhile, her running mate John McCain dropped the puck at a shuffleboard game.

Philadelphia fans did not exactly seem thrilled to see Governor Palin.  They greeted her with many thumbs down signs, and loud boos.  Boos that were only equalled by the ones for the Flyers after they gave up 4 goals in the first period.

After forty years, “Hockey Night in Canada” debuted a new theme song- “Canadian Gold.”

In the US, Fox is thinking of debuting a new theme song for the playoffs “Wait til the Midnight Hour.”

Not to say the game 3 starter for the Phillies,  Jamie Moyer, throws REALLY REALLY slowly… But the Dodgers set a pitching machine at his speed during batting practice and the thing stalled.

How slowly do Moyer’s pitches approach the plate?  You almost expect one of them to have its turn signal blinking.

Both Bill and Hillary Clinton will make a joint campaign appearance on behalf of Barack Obama, and then the former President will campaign on his own for Senator Obama.    Just when things were going so well….

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And what a weekend for college football.  So many top teams went down that viewers weren’t sure if they were watching SportsCenter or Wall Street Week.

The economy and baseball….

Posted October 10, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Who’d a thunk with our 401Ks, that the K would stand for strikeout?

Although I think I can safely guarantee the market will not go down on Monday.  Monday is Columbus Day.

Good news:  the price of gas is going down.

Bad news:  most Americans now can’t afford their car payments.:

Barack and the Weatherman.

Posted October 9, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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John McCain’s campaign has been trying to discredit Barack Obama by his association with a former Weatherman.  But the accusation isn’t getting much traction.  Most voters under 50 say they don’t even watch the Weather Channel.


And a version for readers over  50…

John McCain’s campaign has been trying to discredit Barack Obama by his association with a famous former Weatherman.  But the accusation isn’t getting much traction.  For most older voters, the only person that brings to mind is Willard Scott. 

Barack Obama has purchased 30 minutes of network primetime for October 29.  Well, that ought to be almost enough for some introductory remarks by Joe Biden.

Former NHL goalie Clint Malarchuk accidently shot himself after he placed a .22 caliber rifle between his legs after shooting rabbits. The bullet hit his chin. 

Tonight, Malarchuk reportedly said he considers himself “the luckiest man in America.”.

The NHL season opener was Thursday night, which means in the US, that hockey television ratings were about the same as they were Wednesday night.

From my funny friend Bill Littlejohn: 
Kevin Costner and Ron Sheldon are reportedly discussing a sequel to ‘Bull Durham’.This time, Crash and Annie help Nuke after Laloosh was named in the Mitchell Report”

More debate thoughts during a baseball lull…

Posted October 9, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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So  with all division playoff series ending in four games or less,  we’ve now had the first 48 hour period since March without  Major League Baseball.  Or as they call it in New York.. October.

How slow and low scoring was Tuesday evening’s US presidential debate?  At one point they were thinking of settling it by penalty kicks?

Actually, viewers in Los Angeles rated the debate as less boring than most people in the United States. Maybe it’s because they tuned in after the first half hour and turned if off  well before the end.

The Chinese Gymnastics Association has asked for U.S. help iwith their new investigation into the ages of two members of the 2000 Olympic team.   Specifically if we could loan them the investigators who determined that cheating with NBA referees was confined to Tim Donaghy

Approval ratings and the debate

Posted October 8, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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President Bush and his administration have seen their approval rating hit new lows, along with that of both Republican and Democrats in Congress.  In fact, the only team exceeding expectations in Washington is the Redskins.


Amazingly after almost two years of this presidential campaign, millions of Americans still claim to be undecided.  And aren’t these the same people who always seem to be in front of you in line at Starbucks?


Despite his 22 years of Senate experience, John McCain sought to portray Barack Obama, with his four years in the Senate, as being responsible for the mess in this country.  Isn’t that like Al Davis blaming Lane Kiffin for the Oakland Raiders?


During the Presidential debate, at one point John McCain talked about “gold-plated Cadillac” insurance policies that pay for hair transplants.  Oops, who gave him one of Sarah Palin’s debate index cards?

And some commentators thought John McCain was being condescending by referring to Barack Obama as “that one.”  Nope, McCain wasn’t being condescending, he just couldn’t remember Obama’s name.

Since all four division series ended in four games or less, Tuesday night was the first night since the All-Star break that fans couldn’t watch Major League Baseball.  To which Washington Nationals’ fans said “Welcome to the club.”

Say Ray!

Posted October 6, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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Congratulations to the Tampa Bay Rays, who followed their first winning season by winning their first playoff series.    This despite a year where their attendance ranked 26th out of 30 teams. 

Which might explain why when Tampa area residents were asked about their baseball team’s chances to make it to the World Series, the number one response was “We have a baseball team?”

Barack Obama is moving out to a solid lead in recent polls.  In fact, many pundits say the only way he could lose is if he puts on a Cubs jersey.

One bit of cheery news for the Angels of Anaheim.  They may be going home after the first round despite the best record in baseball.  But at least they’re going home to Disneyland.

 

Apparently while Lehman Brothers was pleading for a federal bailout before they went bankrupt, the investment bank was also steering million dollar bonuses  to their executives.  So CEO Richard Fuld and others could face prosecution.  Though they will try to have charges dropped so they can go out and find the real bank robbers.

Playoff time thoughts….

Posted October 6, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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For the third time in a row, the Angels-Red Sox playoff game finished up well after midnight Eastern Time.  It’s all part of Major League Baseball’s “No child left awake” policy.


And silver linings for Cubs fans.  At least they won’t have their hearts broken in the World Series.  Plus think of all the money they will save on Series tickets.


Sarah Palin said that voters “don’t know the real Barack Obama.”  Considering that Senator Obama has been campaigning under a media microscope for almost two years, isn’t it more likely that voters don’t know the real Sarah Palin?

The John McCain campaign is really hitting new lows of negativity.   And if the story about former radical and current University of Chicago Professor Bill Ayers doesn’t work, the next thing they may say is that while in Chicago, Obama associated with Rex Grossman.

 

The University of Wisconsin marching band has been suspended for alcohol, hazing and sexual misconduct.   Along with possible additional charges of -impersonating the Stanford band.

Now former Raiders coach Lane Kiffin has been advised to sue Oakland owner Al Davis for defamation.  And Kiffin might have a strong case.  As long as he could convince potential jurors that by taking the job in the first place, the young man wasn’t showing signs of insanity…

 

Finally a great thought from Nick Coombs

John McCain announced last week that he was pulling his operation out of Michigan today.  To think he says he’s the candidate for change? He’s just doing what most businesses in the state have been doing for the past 30 years!

Sarah Palin meets the Queen of England…

Posted October 3, 2008 by left coast sports babe
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I have no connection to Saturday Night Live, or a comic troupe, alas…

But nonetheless, here is an imagined conversation between Governor Sarah Palin and Queen Elizabeth II of England.   (imagined with Tina Fey as Sarah and Kristin Whig as the Queen.)


Great to meetcha.  Can I call you Liz?  Are you a hockey mom too?

Swell house.  Yes, I’d love tea. You betcha. You know, we have English Breakfast Tea at my house.

John has told me that you guys have been such a big help in Iraq.   And we just can’t wave the white flag of surrender. I mean, just because we are trying to control a country across the ocean that doesn’t want us there…   Did I mention that John McCain and I are Mavericks?
 
And I brought you a present.  It’s a wolf I shot that I found on your lawn.  I even field dressed it for you.   But, gosh, your English wolves have short legs.  A Corgi?  No, what’s that?  Oh, terribly sorry Liz.  Say it ain’t so.  Dog-gone.