Archive for April 1, 2021

Opening day

April 1, 2021

Hope it isn’t a bad sign that Opening Day is also April Fool’s Day.

(“Don’t remind us” responded Mets fans.)

-LA County Sheriff says cause of Tiger Woods’ car crash last month has been determined, but as of now they won’t release details due to privacy issues – until & unless Woods approves. In all seriousness, if Tiger doesn’t approve, does anyone think the details won’t leak?

Fox News 10/29/20-“Today we can confidently say our border more secure now than any time in our history,” acting DHS Sec Chad Wolf 3/31/21 “Migrants stream through gaps in border wall following Biden’s order to halt construction.” Fox thinks real April Fools are their viewers?

There are few punchlines I can write that would seem more satirical than this truth today – that the media actually seriously covered dog poop being seen in the White House and wondering which dog was responsible.

(Has anyone considered one of the Former Guy’s GOP lapdogs?)

-Considering the media’s obsession with Champ and Major can only imagine what will happen when a First Feline does something like bring a mouse into the Oval Office.

Joe Biden on his plan “If we act now, 50 years from now we will look back and say “This was the moment that America won the future.” It finally really IS infrastructure week.

Better late than never award: On March 31, CEOs of Delta Airlines & Coca-Cola called Georgia GOP new voting law “unacceptable,” adding it was ““based on a lie” that Former Guy won the election. Fine, now can they promise not to donate to any politician who supports the lie?

If Major Biden’s stress from moving to White House means he needs to bite someone on occasion perhaps Joe could earn bipartisan support by having the dog visit the Senate chambers and say hello to Ted Cruz?

President Biden said he’d support moving the All-Star Game out of Atlanta over the new Georgia voting law.MLB usually stays out of political controversy. But what might make that happen? If potential All-Star players said they wouldn’t play unless it was moved.

For all I’m seeing some worries and complaints about COVID-19 vaccine side effects, all the side effects appear to be temporary. As opposed to the potential permanent side effect of no vaccine, which is death.

So are we just going to have to keep flags at half-staff now in America with mass shootings?

In our latest mass shooting, in Orange, California – “four dead, including child.” For all who think the death of a child will make a difference to gun safety legislation – it didn’t with Sandy Hook.

If you’re a Republican complaining about the cost of Biden’s $2 trillion infrastructure plan but you were fine with $2 trillion in tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires, can I respectfully suggest you STFU?

If you think $2 trillion is too much for infrastructure please provide a list of bridges you are okay with having fall down. Thank you.

It’s not just bridges, one big part of Biden’s infrastructure bill is broadband. And who leads the major Senate broadband bill…? The senior Senator from Minnesota. Stay tuned for the next episode of the Amy Klobuchar and Pete Buttigieg platonic rom-com.