Archive for January 12, 2013

Can we handle the truth?

January 12, 2013

USA Today says that Lance Armstrong will admit to doping in his interview with Oprah Winfrey. What’s Oprah’s next scoop…getting Joan Rivers to admit she’s had work done?

Kobe Bryant and his estranged wife Vanessa have reconciled. Men want the name of Kobe’s lawyer. Women want the name of his jeweler.

Okay, so he was talking about the struggles of the Lakers vs. those of the Heat.   But Lebron James’ direct quote was “No one will ever be able to compare to what we went through.” Proving that color is no barrier to “white people problems”

Anyone but me have a problem with the NRA’s plan to arm people that many of their constituency consider union thugs?

Three juniors from Alabama have announced they will leave school early to enter the NFL Draft. It’s not just the money, the players figure football will be much less stressful without worrying about not going to class.

.The Dallas Cowboys have hired Monte Kiffin as their defensive coordinator. USC Trojans fans are just hoping Monte will try to bring his son with him.

In the Ohio House, Rep. Peter Beck faces an ethics investigation due to a civil lawsuit alleging he participated in a fraud that cheated investors out of more than $1 million. But Speaker William Batchelder still appointed King chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee. Guess this translates, “If you have the Means, we will find a Way.”

You can’t make this stuff up: Airline traveler asks if he can have an exit row seat for his mother as she has a hard time moving around and needs the legroom.

Georgia Rep. Phil Gingrey, an OB-GYN, said Todd Akin was “partly right” when he said women’s bodies can avoid pregnancy in cases of “legitimate rape,” because adrenaline can cause you not to ovulate. Forget this women’s bodies shutting down stuff, what can we do to get some men’s mouths to shut down?

After the HOF vote Roger Clemens tweeted that he wasn’t “overly surprised” but thanking his supporters and ending the statement “Muchie Peachie.” “Muchie Peachie?!” OK, steroids don’t just shrink your testicles, they turn you into a 10 yr old girl.

For $100, Facebook users can send a message to Mark Zuckerberg’s inbox. Wonder how much they charge to have him read it?

Phil Jackson said the Lakers might have a “come to Jesus moment” to make the playoffs. Maybe, but more like a Jesus moment involving Lazarus.

Anyone needing a reason to try turning into “Nashville” on Wednesday nights, try this line, when one singer accuses another of hating her -“”I only hate sunburns and hangovers, this is just business.”

Nate Silver is now predicting the Seattle Seahawks will make the Super Bowl. Of course real brilliance would have been to make that prediction in September.