Left Coast Sports Babe

If LSU ends up playing Alabama in the BCS National Championship will the game be be sponsored by Sherwin Williams? Because another Field Goal derby would be like watching paint dry.

–

Jay Cutler is out for the year. Wonder how long it took for that phone call from Hattiesburg, Mississippi to Chicago saying “I’m available.”

–

Fox’s Megyn Kelly referred to the pepper spray that University Police used on U.C. Davis students as “a food product.” Well, heck, let’s put the stuff in school cafeterias then. The spray could be used both for discipline problems and as a vegetable.

–

Ground staff at Liverpool’s John Lennon Airport are staging a series of two-hour
strikes this week. Which means Lucy and her Diamonds may be in the Sky, but not, alas, you and your luggage.

–

So for a prescription, Walgreen’s was out of Allegra in the 30 count bottle. Which was $9.99. But they had two 15 count packets, which they say they would sell me $27.98. And the young woman behind the counter didn’t see the problem. If corporations are people, they are the greedy, stupid relatives you don’t want to see at Thanksgiving.

–

Newt Gingrich is defending his third wife, who he “dated” for six years while married to his second wife. Newt claimed that lies have been told about Callista, and “it’s not fair.” I guess Gingrich feels that if there are going to be lies involving any of his wives, he should be the one to tell them.

–

TCU placekicker Ross Evans has been charged with kicking in the door of a Denton, Texas apartment, supposedly while trying to receive his cell phone. Evans is free on bail but has been charged with criminal mischief. Had he only been Alabama’s placekicker Ross would have missed the door wide right.

–

A recent poll showed Newt Gingrich leading the GOP primary as far as being the best potential “Commander in Chief.” Or it’s possible respondents misheard the question, and thought they were answering “Who’ll make the best PHILANDERER in Chief?”

–

Retired Florida football coach Urban Meyer says he hasn’t received an offer from Ohio State, but if he they do offer him the coaching job, “I’ll have a decision to make.” Presumably whether he wants to spend more time tattooing his family?

–
(This next will make the most sense to Canadian readers. But anyway…)

British Columbia, who started the Canadian Football Season 0-5, is in the Grey Cup, and Detroit looks to be heading for the NFL playoffs. Guess with the success of avowed Christian Tim Tebow, God wanted to dole out a measure of success for the Lions.

–

–

So brothers Jim and John Harbaugh will square off as NFL coaches on Thanksgiving. Given the relationship, and Jim’s known propensity for “enthusiasm,” will the post-game handshake be replaced by a pillow-fight?

–

The University of Arizona announced the hiring of Rich Rodriguez as their new football coach by Twitter. Makes some sense, one of the few printable things fans in Michigan might say about Rodriguez is that he is a first class twit.

–
In the “a plague on both your houses” category: In the private sector if your job is to come up with a budget in two months and you come back to your boss and say “Sorry, couldn’t do it,” you are looking at unemployment.

–

This just in, the Congressional Super Committee has failed to come up with a deficit reduction plan. But they did agree that Candy Corn and Boston Baked Beans Candy both qualify as vegetables.

(added my friend Bill Schmarzo, “does that mean Swedish Fish qualifies as a protein?”)

–

Really, folks, the super-committee’s failure is disappointing. But realistically they had about as much chance of success as the Washington Redskins did of making the playoffs.

–
From T.C. “Hidden-camera footage taken at Sparboe Poultry facilities show birds being abused. McDonalds has terminated business with this supplier. ‘These people are creepy, sick, demented and need help,’ says Jerry Sandusky.” – TC in BC

Explore posts in the same categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

This entry was posted on November 22, 2011 at 1:02 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: BCS jokes, Gingrich jokes, Megyn Kelly pepper spray food joke, Sandusky jokes, Super committee jokes, supercommittee jokes

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.