Left Coast Sports Babe

 

In the first three games after the All-Star Break at Safeco Field, the Seattle Mariners have scored a total of one run. Does this make them the official baseball team of Major League Soccer?

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From Gary Morton:  The Mariners have been shut-out in 2 of their last 3 games and have been outscored 38-10 while losing 8 straight. They haven’t been this befuddled since manager Eric Wedge held up a bat in a team meeting and asked, “does ANYONE know what this is?”

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Apparently “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” has broken box office records by taking in $168.6 million domestically this weekend. That’s particularly amazing considering almost none of those moviegoers came with dates.

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One of the tenets of the anti-tax movement is that rich people are smarter and more productive about spending money than the government. But for many years one of the richest and biggest spending franchises in baseball has been the Chicago Cubs.

 

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A Legoland theme park near Dallas, Texas is now displaying a “Lego Dirk Nowitzki” that they got from Germany. The 7 foot tall statue is made from 25,000-30,000 Lego bricks, and took 3,000 hours to build. Apparently Miami tried to get a “Lego Lebron James” too, but builders kept stopping when they were three-quarters done.

 

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Listening to Fox announcers talk about how terrible the Oakland A’s ballpark is for hitters. (Big and with huge foul terrority.) Can you only imagine what the Giants’ team ERA would be if they played there? We know San Francisco’s lineup would be collectively below the Mendoza line.

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Michele Bachmann accused President Obama of having “choot-spa.” Really? Isn’t “choot-spa” what angry gun-toting women do in Texas when they are unhappy with their mani-pedis?

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Congratulations to Trevor Bauer, the former UCLA pitcher and Diamondbacks draft pick for winning the “Golden Spikes Award.” The award is given annually to the best amateur baseball player. Many were disappointed it didn’t go to a member of the Houston Astros.

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Five ‎ North Korean womens soccer players tested positve for steroids. According to ESPN, the delegation told FIFA the steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines based on musk deer glands to treat players who had been struck by lightning. And a number of MLB and NFL players said “Damn, why didn’t we think of that?”

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This entry was posted on July 17, 2011 at 10:53 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Harry Potter movie jokes, Mariners jokes, soccer jokes

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