Archive for March 22, 2011

Scumbags, scumbags, we got scumbags.

March 22, 2011

 When Good Morning America co-anchor Robin Roberts kept asking Chris Brown about his guilty plea for assaulting girlfriend Rihanna, Brown smashed a window and stormed out of the studio. Yeah, that ought to convince America he’s learned to keep his temper under control.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell was quoted as saying “We have not had any discussions or consideration of replacement players.”  Or at least none in a room that wasn’t swept clean of potential bugs or other electronic recording devices first.

So if the league does offer jobs to players who aren’t really NFL material, does that mean Carolina Panthers players will be eligible.

The Bachelor, Brad Womack, was not taken to a hospital as first reported. It turns out he actually called 911 from an Austin park when he found a stranger in need of medical attention. This, however, did not prevent Brad from talking to the 911 operator for an hour about his feelings.

The defense Barry Bonds is using in this trial is that he realizes now he used steroids, but really believed his trainer’s telling him that he was taking flaxseed oil and arthritis cream. Hey, this defense would work if he were a college athlete in the SEC.

The latest Fox News controversy has to do with an admitted “error” by the network in their story about the Libyan government using Western journalists as human shields.  With all the “Faux” news stories they’ve had lately, it’s a wonder Fox hasn’t found someone to manufacture a fake Kenyan birth certificate.

Lawrence Taylor was sentenced to six years probation and forced to register as a sex offender for his “encounter” with an underage prostitute who said she was 19.  But the girl, speaking through Gloria Allred, now says Taylor should have known she was underage and should go to jail.

LT seems like a scumbag, and he’s being punished for it, but Gloria Allred gives women lawyers a bad name. 

(The only woman’ whose best interests she really has at heart is Gloria Allred.)

Dennis Kucinich now says that President Obama’s taking part in the European coalition’s attack against Qaddafi was an “impeachable offense.”   How’d we all like to be flies on the wall at Sarah Palin’s “war room” while they figure out a response to THAT statement?

And now Rand Paul may be jumping into the 2012 Presidential race.  Paul, Kucunich, Bachman, Palin…. For political junkies of a certain age, or those who just like political history, Pat Paulson is retrospectively looking more and more like a legitimate candidate.

Withdrawal.

March 22, 2011

Monday night, male sports fans across America had to do without the NCAA’s men’s college basketball tournament for the first time in six days. On the other hand,  there was the opening round of “Dancing with the Stars.” 

So wonder how many men had their first serious glimpse of the Stanford and Tennessee women?

The latest in a long line of  “Does this really need a punchline?” The Las Vegas deputy district attorney who prosecuted Paris Hilton for cocaine possession was arrested over the weekend for allegedly buying cocaine.

Inspired by my friend Jerry Perisho, who said “Barry Bonds is on trial?? I don’t even remember him killing anybody.”   Yeah, but if he had killed someone he would have been acquitted by now.

The rumors are that CBS wants Charlie Sheen back for “Two and a half men.” Will the book someone will someday write about this whole episode be titled “Smart networks, foolish choices?”

Tennessee fired men’s basketball coach Bruce Pearl over recruiting violations which have already led to an NCAA investigation.  The Vols were eliminated in the tournament’s first real round by Michigan 75-45.   Just  wondering, if Tennessee were into the Sweet Sixteen, would the school be somehow blaming it all on Pearl’s father? 

And wonder if Lane Kiffin is recommending Pearl as the next head basketball coach at USC?

Tiger Woods’ latest girlfriend is 22 years old, and was arrested last year for DUI with a blood alcohol level of .21. And now she’s dating Tiger? Sounds like her judgment is still impaired.

(added Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times.   ” That’s .13 over par.”)

At one point in today’s NCAA women’s basketball tournament, St. Johns was ahead of Stanford 22-16. Stanford ended up winning by 25 after being ahead by 30.

So what did Tara Vanderveer say to motivate her team – “Ladies, you’re playing like boys?”

For any sports fans who think the NBA doesn’t have enough parity between the haves and have-nots, I give you NCAA women’s basketball. While UCLA lost tonight to Gonzaga, AT GONZAGA, in the tournament, they had only four previous losses all year. And three of them were to Stanford.

And anyone who hates tacky can stop reading now:

A South Carolina man who twice pleaded guilty to having sex with a horse has been released from prison after 16 months but put on probation and ordered to stay away from the animal. Good thing Prince Charles has diplomatic immunity.