September mourning?

Matt Leinart was flat out released by the Arizona Cardinals. Who knew the former Heisman winner would turn out to be JaMarcus Russell without the bling?

T.J. Houshmandzadeh was cut Thursday by the Seattle Seahawks. The team feels confident they can replace him at wide receiver, but they will take a hit with their clubhouse Scrabble game.

Meanwhile the party to celebrate Houshmandzadeh’s departure is still going on for Seattle copy editors and sportscasters.

Ten losses in a row for the reeling Padres. At this point sports fans in San Diego will really be thrilled when the NFL season starts. At least the Chargers have a chance to win once a week.

My very funny friend Alex Kaseberg wrote this one, which was used on the Tonight Show – “Padres” is actually an old Spanish word meaning “Chicago Cubs.”

The University of Florida won their opening game against Miami of Ohio, 34-12, despite gaining about 20 yards in the first half, and under 40 yards until the last few minutes of the game.

How worried are the Gators? They’re reportedly even looking into what academic program they use to tempt Jeremiah Masoli into transfering.

John McCain said Sunday the Republicans should put out a new “Contract with America.” It’s not that McCain disagrees with Newt Gingrich’s original model, it’s that he can’t remember it.

Bill “Spaceman” Lee, 63, picked up a win for the Brockton Rox, an independent league baseball team in Massachusetts. Lee started, pitched 5 1/3 innings, and only allowed two runs. And at age 63 he still probably pitched harder than Tim Wakefield.

Give Arizona Governor Jan Brewer credit. Who knew another Governor could make Arnold Schwarzenegger sound like a Shakespearean actor by comparison?

The Jan Brewer debate tape continues to be an online hit. Looks like the title of “most embarrassing and inexplicable silent gap ever for Republicans” no longer belongs to the late Rosemary Woods.

Internet evangelist Bill Keller has set up headquarters in a New York Marriott near Ground Zero to speak out against Islam. So let’s see, a “Christian” using a hotel founded and run by Mormons to preach against Muslims – is this an amazing country or what?

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4 Comments on “September mourning?”

  1. Gary Morton Says:

    The bad news: Since being laid-off, I’m ineligible to attend any Labor Day functions.
    The good news: The US’s entire labor force will fit into the family section of Six Flags over Foreclosure.

  2. tc Says:

    i didn’t know the Marriott chain was founded and run by Mormons. does that mean i can have 2 or more rooms at the same time?

    • Janice Says:

      TC. Good one, and oh heck yes, check out the next time you are in a Marriott or one of their chains, book of Mormon in the bedstand. The only good thing from a travel agent point of view about this is that they have rooms even in europe with two double beds because of course if they dont have multiple wives mormons always have multiple kids.

      • tc Says:

        Bringham, but Bringham Young!

        I don’t like hotels, always get that creepy feeling like ESPN has a peephole camera on me when I’m parading around naked.

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