Knuckling down to business.
Congratulations to Tim Wakefield, who has just become one of the very few pitchers in modern history to pitch over 3000 innings.
Added all together, that would be a total of over 330 complete games. And in all those innings, at least a dozen pitches that topped 70 mph.
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Years ago, Randy Johnson threw a pitch that killed a bird. A little known story is that Wakefield also hit a bird with a pitch. Said bird is still telling the story to his grandchildren.
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How slow does knuckleballer Tim Wakefield throw? Put it this way, he threw one pitch, and was called for delay of game before it reached the batter.
As hitting coach Charlie Lau once said, however, “there are two theories of hitting a knuckleball. Neither one works.”
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On the other hand, in those 3,000 innings, how many catchers has Wakefield pushed towards being alcoholics?
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Big 12 theme song – Almost all my ex’s live in Texas?
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Vince Young this weekend joined an increasingly long line of NFL players who made the news other than on the sports page by getting arrested for an altercation outside a strip club.
So the question, since the term “cautionary tale” doesn’t seem to apply….does the NFL need better helmets? Or is this just testosterone poisoning?
At this point, fans of the long-running but recently cancelled show may be able to look forward to “Law and Order – NFL edition.”
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Although at the college level… Florida State sophomore wide receiver Frankie Hammond, Jr, 20, was arrested this weekend. Hammond was pulled over for an alleged DUI, going 45 in a 20 zone, swerving, and driving with two open bottles of whiskey in his car.
Well, with or without Bobby Bowden looks like it’s still Felony Stupidity University.
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After the USA team played English to that 1-1 tie June 12, their next game is now…June 18? Who do these World Cup schedulers think they are, the NBA?
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Thanks in part to a marquee England-USA match, millions of Americans are watching their first World Cup on televison. And thanks to the “vuvuzelas,” millions of Americans have also discovered how to work their “mute” buttons.
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A World Cup television question? How do you close caption a “vuvuzela?
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Jimmy Dean, the sausage king, died at the age of 81. In his honor, for the next week at Denny’s all Grand Slam breakfasts will be served with a moment of silence.
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The NBA finals and the Tonys have something in common. In both you are likely to get rewarded for great acting.
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President Obama apparently will make a major address about the oil spill in the Gulf after he visits the area Tuesday. David Axelrod says, however, that Obama’s “not going to make any judgments about the soul of BP execs.” Makes sense, at this point nobody’s sure if any of them have one.
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And on a not so cheery final note, should we be worried that the initials BP also stand for “bankruptcy protection?”
Tags: BP jokes, Tim Wakefield jokes, vuvuzelas jokes, World Cup jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 
June 14, 2010 at 9:53 am
“The University of Waterloo has suspended its football program for a year and placed the coaching staff on administrative leave in the wake of a steroids scandal.
“Canadian Interuniversity Sport, the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport and university officials are holding a news conference Monday to discuss the situation.
“The move stems from the arrest in April of Warriors receiver Nathan Zettler for possession and trafficking of anabolic steroids.”
One guy is arrested – not yet convicted – and the team loses its entire season. Unfortunately, they have met their Waterloo.
_______________________
My favorite quote about the knuckleball, from Bob Uecker: “The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait till it stops rolling then pick it up.”
June 15, 2010 at 12:55 am
Who do they think they are? USC?
June 14, 2010 at 4:03 pm
RE Vince Young, does the NFL need better helmets? They just need to wear them?
__________________
A 66-yr. old woman has given birth to triplets in Hisar, India. The kids will go thru potty training about the same time mom and dad go back into diapers.
She’ll be about 84 when the kids become tech support reps.
After 44 years of marriage, she and her husband figured it was time for children, before it was too late.
After 44 years of a loving, carefree existence, the couple decided to contribute to India’s population glut.
A big red sign outside the couple’s maternity hospital states, “over 1.2 billion served.”
June 14, 2010 at 8:38 pm
(sorry for the length of this)
BP, BP
A British company
(sung to the tune “Beep Beep” by the Playmates)
(very slowly)
While drill-ing way down in the Gulf
Learned to its surprise
The o-cean is cruel, to com-pan-ies whose
House is built on lies
They dug many fath-oms where man can’t see
While the feds kept rooting them on
But then one day an acc-i-dent that left us all forlorn
BP, BP
A British company
(slowly)
The rig was blown out of the sea
The riser pipe did break
While the blow-out pre-vent-er just did not work
Because of a mistake
The spill at first seemed un-der con-trol
They could clean it up with one barge (BP)
But when the vi-de-o appeared we saw it was quite large
BP, BP
A British company
(normal speed)
The oil gushed up at a great rate
No one could cal-cu-late
The en-gin-eers were baffled
The big C-E-O was lost
They tried some cures of a limited cost
We couldn’t believe their gall
Cause even a schoolchild knew right away
They’d need more than golf balls
BP, BP
A British company
(quickly)
At first Obama tried to keep his cool
But politics came to pass
So on Today did he thus appear
And said he’d kick some ass
But this didn’t really have much effect
As the oil kept flowing ashore
Too bad he’s getting a divorce cause we sure need Al Gore
BP, BP
A British Company
(very quickly)
Guess we’re gonna have to wait a while
Until there is relief
But maybe we shouldn’t hold our breath
Cause I have this sad belief
That if this second well don’t work
Then this is what we’ll hear
Tata old chaps and cheerio, cause now we’re outta here!!!!!
BP