Foreign affairs

Apparently in an upcoming book, France’s first lady Carla Bruni claims her sex life has suffered because her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy, is too busy with his job to attend to her needs. In related news, Bill Clinton has offered to accompany Hillary on her next diplomatic mission to Paris.


While I like President Obama, in some ways I miss the simple days of Bill Clinton’s presidency. The economy was great, the U.S. wasn’t at war, and the most devastating spill in the country was on a blue dress.

After four playoff games againsts the Montreal Canadiens, the Pittsburgh Penguins looked like Stanley Cup Champions. After seven games they looked like the San Jose Sharks.


Following the lead of Arizona, the state of Pennsylvania has declared war on immigrants. Specifically those from Canada

This was the worst Penguin performance since Carla’s husband was run over by that Zamboni. (This joke will make sense to old “Cheers” fans only.)

A Texas high school may have to forfeit their entire season, and a 22-year-old man is in jail, after he posed as a 16-year-old to play basketball. How do teachers tell if a kid might be older than he looks? One thought – if after having sex he drives himself home.

Arizona’s governor has signed a bill prohibiting classes to be taught that are designed for any particular group. Which means members of U of A’s and ASU’s football teams will have to scramble to find a substitute for “underwater basketweaving.”


So Lawrence Taylor’s current defense against rape charges with a 16 year old girl is that he simply “pleasured himself” while she was in the room. And Taylor’s wife then added that she knew her husband’s tastes regarding appearance and “activities”, and the teen “had nothing to offer him.”

Even Mark Sanford is going “TMI.”


How bad is BP looking in this oil spill? Some children of oil company executives are now lying at school and saying their fathers are lawyers.

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