Slouching towards opening day..

Barack Obama will throw out the ceremonial first pitch for the Washington Nationals’ home opener against the Phillies on April 5. If he gets it over the plate the Nats may immediately sign him for the opening day roster.

President Obama will throw out the first pitch for the Washington Nationals’ home opener on April 5. The Tea Party people are, however, staying away from this one. Not even the most hardened conservative could say with a straight face that government invention could make the Nats any worse.

The New York Yankees have an ambidextrous pitcher, Pat Venditte, in camp, and he threw with both arms in a game against the Braves on Tuesday. So just how many times in an at-bat do he and a switch-hitter get to change their minds?

Mayflower Madam” (and St. Mary’s in Moraga graduate) Kristin Davis says she is now running for Governor of New York. Davis, who formerly “supplied” Eliot Spitzer with women, says she wants to legalize and tax both marijuana and prostitution. Well, if she is elected, at least the state won’t have any surprise sex scandals.

Secretary of state Ame Duncan said in a CNN interview that he is worried about some student athletes who are “simply used by by their universities to produce revenue.” The NCAA denied these allegations and reminded all fans to purchase their Final Four t-shirts online at

Another reason we love Coach Tara VanDerveer: After the Stanford women won at the buzzer to get to the final four, a shot following two impossibly easy missed layups by Xavier, one of the players stated:. “That’s got to be divine intervention.” Tara’s response – “I believe God has better things to be doing,”

Wonder why Ricky Martin chose this week to say he was gay? Maybe he figured the news would go unnoticed while people focused on the equally shocking new study that found Yankees players were the highest paid professional athletes.

The Oakland Raiders are rumored to be trying to deal for Donovan McNabb, but the Eagles want a top draft pick. Shame Oakland can’t make the deal by giving Philadelphia one of their recent top draft picks.

(like Jamarcus Russell or Darrius Hayward-Bey.)

As Jesse James becomes the latest celebrity husband to head into rehab, one question comes to mind. Will we ever see one of these guys decide they need help BEFORE they get caught by the tabloids?

Larry Ellison is thinking of buying the Golden State Warriors, a team with consistently great attendance and consistently bad to mediocre results in the actual games. What, were the Cubs not available?

And it’s Al Gore’s birthday today, March 31. Not to say Al’s getting up there, but Tipper is leaving the candles off his cake to help reduce global warming.

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