Archive for July 1, 2009

Welcome back, Candace

July 1, 2009

Okay, for anyone who thinks only men are tough enough to play pro sports, I give you Candace Parker. Who returned to practice for the Los Angeles Sparks, six weeks after having a baby.

Of course, let’s be fair, if men were required to take six weeks off from sports after the birth of their baby, it would shut down the NBA.


Crabtree and Evelyn just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. This news upset millions of women and about two men.


The Sears Tower has unveiled new transparent balconies 103 stories high, nicknamed “the Ledge.” These balconies are really five-sided glass boxes that will allow visitors, if they wish, to look straight down.

Most Chicagoans haven’t had such a sinking feeling since the last time the Cubs were in the postseason.


New fashion item in South Carolina?

“I crossed a line with Governor Sanford and all I got is this lousy t-shirt.”


If laughter is the best medicine, then I do suppose we have to credit Mark Sanford for doing his part for government assisted health care.


There are 122 teams combined in the NHL, NBA, NFL and MLB. An ESPN survey ranked those teams from the most and least fan-friendly. The Los Angeles Angeles finished first, while the Los Angeles Clippers finished 122nd. This is shocking. The Clippers have fans?

Questions for Manny.

July 1, 2009

Manny Ramirez will face many questions from the media when he returns from his female fertility drug suspension on Friday. Which is okay, as Manny has a question for them too – “Does this uniform make me look fat?”

Okay, it’s their national sport, but even so, in a recent poll only 29 percent of Canadians correctly identified the Montreal Canadians as the last team from Canada to win the Stanley Cup.

But to be fair, Canadian schools really don’t teach much ancient history.


So let’s see, a rambling weepy confessional, way too much sexual detail, and an over-the-top romantic view of a part-time secret relationship. Are we sure Governor Sanford shouldn’t be tested for female fertility drugs?

Mark Sanford says his affair with “Maria” was not about sex, it was a “forbidden, tragic, love story.” Forget the West Wing, this Governor is thinking for “West Side Story.”


Regarding that “forbidden, tragic love story”, can we start referring to him as “Governor Zhivago?


The Red Sox blew a 10-1 lead Tuesday night and lost to the Orioles 11-10. Boston hasn’t seen a sports-related collapse like that since John Kerry was photographed windsurfing.

Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison. On the bright side for Bernie, by the time he gets out, Brett Favre may have finally decided about retirement.

And okay, let’s hear it for the winners in the “Which gets decided first – the Minnesota Senate race, or the Vikings’ starting quarterback?” contest?