Archive for May 20, 2009

The San Francisco Giants and other jokes.

May 20, 2009

Well, their hitting anyway.

Big Papi, David Ortiz, final hit his first home run in 150 at bats.  Which should make him an honorary Giant.

Variation on an old joke.  How can you criticize the San Francisco Giants’ offense.  There’s insufficient evidence.

The San Francisco pitching staff may soon start referring to themselves as “Bra-less.”  As in, no support.

At this point the Giants are scoring less than a Star Trek convention.

University of Tennessee football coach Lane Kiffin was guilty of a minor NCAA rules violation for his early announcement of a recruit’s signing on Twitter.  This is shocking.  There are grown men who Twitter?

After the finale, we’ve learned one thing about America.  We may be ready for a black president. We’re just not ready for an American Idol with black nail polish.

The NCAA has denied another year of eligibility for Florida State receiver Corey Surrency because he previously played for the Florida Kings, a  semi-pro team. Well, if that’s the standard,  Surrency would have been better off had he just played for the Detroit Lions.

A man called 911 because his adult son wouldn’t clean up the mess he had made.  Yeah, it’s tough these days to be George H. W. Bush.

American Idol

May 20, 2009

Why do they call it American Idol when it is taped in Los Angeles?

Because the Lakers in games 1,4 and 6 against Houston basically copyrighted “Los Angeles Idle.”

Paula Abdul  today talked to contestant Adam Lambert about how he lifted the judges’ spirits.   In her case those spirits were probably vodka, rum and tequila.

A recent study showed that having daughters rather than sons makes you more liberal.  So who’s more disappointed about President George W. Bush?  The liberals who wish that statement were true, and the ultra-conservatives who think it IS true.

A recent study showed that having daughters rather than sons makes you more liberal.  That’s really scary, said everyone who knows Dick Cheney.

The Washington Wizards had the second worst record in the NBA, and yet shockingly  fell to fifth in the NBA draft lottery.    Guess the only thing you can count on with that bad a performance in DC is re-election.

American Idol contestants Adam Lambert and Kris Allen each got millions more votes than any of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s  California special election ballot measures.   Guess the next time California elects an entertainer as governor, maybe we should make sure he can sing.

This may only make sense to British readers, or those who have travelled through London.  But,  passsngers from US Airways flight 1549 are just now beginning to get their belongings back.  Which is still better than some poor folks who connected through Terminal 5.