Archive for March 12, 2009

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This just in…

March 12, 2009

GM says they will not need $2 billion from the government in March. They may, however, need $20 billion in April.
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The new UFL – United Football League – plans to work as a feeder league for tne NFL, by providing a place to play for players who just miss making pro rosters. Then the UFL season will end before Thanksgiving, allowing NFL teams to pick up the best players for the stretch run and the playoffs.

In other words, the same model the Yankees use for the rest of major league baseball.

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The new UFL will be composed of players who aren’t quite good enough for the NFL. Don’t we already have that? I think they are called the Detroit Lions.

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The UFL says their season will be over by Thanksgiving. Raiders fans said “And your point is?”

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John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have ended their on-again, off-again relationship. Again. Even Brett Favre says, “Folks, make up your minds.”

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L is for Layoff

March 12, 2009

The economic crisis hit Sesame Street today as Sesame Workshop, the show’s producers, announced they would cut about a fifth of their staff.

Now Oscar is really Grouchy.

Cookie Monster may be rationed to crackers.

And Big Bird is tiptoeing quietly around all KFC locations.

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So Bristol Palin’s engagement is off. And Meghan McCain said her parent running for president interfered with HER love life.

Wonder if McCain-Palin had won if we would have had the first White House shotgun wedding?

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In a recent poll, 96 percent of Californians said the state was in “bad times.” This is shocking. There are actually four percent who think things are good?

Didn’t know that many Californians were on the payroll of Manny Ramirez.

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The Fiesta, Rose, Orange and Sugar Bowls have signed just deals to keep the BCS format going through at least 2013.

So Barack Obama may be able to fix the economy, solve global warming, and bring our troops home from Iraq. But it doesn’t look like he can do anything about the BCS

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