Posted tagged ‘Tiger Woods’

Who needs experience?

February 27, 2009

Former Ebay CEO Meg Whitman is running for governor of California, although she has never held elected office and has admitted forgetting to vote.

Another sign of our country’s move towards gender equality- now women too can try to jump into politics at the top.

Republicans claimed last year that being an attractive minority candidate didn’t offset youth and inexperience. Who knew they were talking about Bobby Jindal.

Tiger Woods returned to playing professional golf and told a reporter “The day I’m not nervous is the day I quit.”

That explains all Tiger’s fellow PGA tour members sending him all those yoga tapes.

So Bobby Jindal considers “volcano monitoring” in the stimulus bill to be a ridiculous waste of money. Wonder what he would say if the Governors of Hawaii and Washington declared any money spent on shoring up levees to be a ridiculous waste too?

Actually, Bobby’s real name is Pi-Yush Jindal, he says he changed it himself at the age of four to name himself after Bobby Brady on the Brady Bunch.

Myself, I wanted to be Marcia. But I drew the line at trying to duplicate her hair.

So Governor Jindal changed his name from Piyush to Bobby. Well for all the jobs we are losing overseas to India, at least we are winning on names here.

Stanford’s men’s basketball team lost another close game Thursday to UCLA, 76-71, after blowing yet another lead. The team, in fact, has led in all seven of their road losses, At this point, perhaps they should change the mascot to Wil E Coyote.

And in the midst of a recession, another example of why other countries hate us…

From US Weekly, about the wedding of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen: “The bride wore a Dolce and Gabbana gown. Her three dogs, which attended the ceremony, wore matching Dolce and Gabbana floral lace collars.”

While the credit markets have essentially dried up, the NBA announced it has lined up $200 million from U.S. banks for any franchise that is interested in extra cash.

Does this really need a punchline?


Guess this could put a whole new spin on the term “America’s teams.”


Well, to the long list of incompetent operations our tax dollars are shoring up, we may soon be able to add the Clippers.

It’s a cold day in Washington…

January 17, 2009

With icy-cold temperatures expected, there are rumors that Obama’s inauguration might have to be moved indoors. Which would mean a lot of disappointed people standing out in the cold. A common occurrence in Washington, except usually involving Redskins fans.

But it’s been a rough several months for New Yorkers. I mean, this inauguration was supposed to be either President Hillary Clinton or Rudy Guiliani, while this weekend the N.Y Giants (and maybe the Jets with Brett Favre) were supposed to be playing for a spot in the Super Bowl. And let’s not forget the expected World Series champion New York Yankees or Mets…

Tiger Woods will be speaking at Barack Obama’s inaugural ceremonies. Many of his fellow pro golfers were disappointed to hear it. They felt Obama should have given Tiger a role more commensurate with his abilities, like an ambassadorship that would regularly take him out of the country on a full-time basis.

It’s been eight years and President Bush doesn’t quite get it. When he was told at first he would need to give a farewell address, his first response was “Well, until Tuesday it’s still 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.”