Posted tagged ‘Rachel Alexandra jokes’

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Expectant mothers:

March 8, 2011

Rachel Alexandra, the 2009 Horse of the Year, is in foal to two-time Horse of the Year Curlin.  Not sure if she’s formally retired, but this probably does rule out her ever competing again in Utah.

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After the announcement, Mike Huckabee immediately condemned Rachel Alexandra as a bad example to all fillies and mares out there for flaunting her out-of-wedlock condition.

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But really, back to the BYU situation.  If Davies does marry his “baby-mama,” gets reinstated for the NCAA tournament, and then they end up divorced soon after the child is born, well, it could put a whole new spin on “One and Done.”

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A Department of Transportation/Consumer Reports survey says that 63 percent of drivers under 30 admit to using handheld cellphones while driving, and 30 percent say they have sent texts from the road. The other 7 percent were too busy driving, talking on the phone AND texting to answer the survey.

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Many teams love to give out rally rags to fans during the post season. Wonder though when the NBA playoffs start in April, if the Miami Heat will give their fans crying towels.

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According to Yahoo Sports, Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel knew eight months earlier than the school admitted admitting knowing that star players were selling memorabilia. This allegation is serious enough it could get him fired from OSU, but might make Tressel the front runner to succeed Lane Kiffin at USC.

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Donald Trump criticized Republican Senator Lamar Alexander for trying to get free publicity because Alexander not only said Trump had no chance to win the GOP nomination, but added he was “famous for being famous.”   And “the Donald” allegedly said “Hey, get your own platform.”

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When they finally do cancel “The Bachelor/Bachelorette” reality series, can we hope that America will never have to hear the phrase again “in it for the right reasons?”

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The Chicago Cubs have already committed 14 errors so far this spring training. So this year the team may be known as the Cub-EEEs.

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According to CNN, Warner Brothers Television says it has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on “Two and a Half Men” effective immediately. Apparently it was cheaper to contract with Amtrak to show actual train wrecks

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from Jim Barach:

Former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell is reportedly near foreclosure on his Oakland mansion. Apparently even his mortgage payments fell incomplete.

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Curlin and Rachel Alexandra

May 18, 2009

Horse racing’s newest star filly, Rachel Alexandra, will apparently be bred to Curlin, a former superstar in his own right.   Which will make them the most famous parents in the thoroughbred world.

Wonder if Curlin and Rachel will then adopt zebra foals from Africa?

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Wonder if before they mate, if the filly will have to convert to Scientology?

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Arnold Schwarzenegger received an honorary degree at USC, although he never attended classes there.    Does this make him an honorary football player?

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Arnold Schwarzenegger received a honorary degree from USC.  The Trojans hope this increases the odds of a gubernatorial pardon for their basketball program.

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President Obama spoke at Notre Dame commencement Sunday and faced several hundred protesters who were upset at his pro-choice stance.  The protesters said it was nothing personal but they would protest any speaker on campus who was not anti-abortion.   Unless he could lead them to a New Year’s Day Bowl game.

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The NBA playoffs seem to go on forever, especially when series like Orlando-Boston and Houston-Los Angeles last seven games.  Though as the Lakers point out, in a seven game series, you only have to show up for four.

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Okay, a political thought here… but.

Apparently Republicans are already gathering ammunition and preparing their arguments against President Obama’s Supreme Court pick, even though Obama hasn’t actually announced his choice yet.

Not that this might affect his decision, but in the spirit of this so-called bipartisanship, have Republicans thought of actually suggesting a few names of candidates they actually think ARE qualified?

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Nancy Pelosi claims now that she did not know the CIA was engaging in waterboarding or other forms of forture.  Although in hindsight maybe she should have been suspicious when the CIA liasion who briefed her was Jack Bauer.

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Though I admit it, I am a fan of 24.  And usually end up supporting what Jack and his new cohort Renee do to get answers on the show.  But let’s be real… expecting torture to work because it works on 24, is like writing an analysis of marriage based on Desperate Housewives.

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