Posted tagged ‘kellogg’s jokes’

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Tough matchups

December 1, 2016

The 1-10 SF 49ers this Sunday take on the 2-9 Chicago Bears. The game promises to be almost as riveting as the Cleveland Browns vs. bye week

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Who says there’s no good news anymore? MLB just announced that World Series home field advantage will no longer belong to the winner of the All-Star game, but to the pennant winner with the best record. #IblameObama

 

An English company is selling an advent calendar where each day brings a new small bite of cheese. Now if they can only figure out a way to add wine to that.

 

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Our long national nightmare is over. #TIgerWoods is back playing on the PGA tour. At least until Friday.

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A new report says Amazon, which has most of its employees in California and Washington, has eliminated 140,000 more retail jobs than they have created. What’s next? Tariffs on blue states?

 

 

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher have had a second child. To show there are no hard feelings, Kutcher’s ex-wife Demi Moore generously sent over some of Ashton’s old toys.

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A new poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation found only about 25% of Americans want Trump to repeal Obamacare. Wonder what else voters hope he didn’t actually mean?

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So according to Politico, first daughter Ivanka Trump wants to make climate change one of her signature issues. Could she start by convincing her father it is real?

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Glad to hear #IvankaTrump has decided to make climate change one of her issues. Hoping this isn’t just because she wants to sell more coats.

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First it was #Starbucks over cups, now it’s #Kelloggs over Breitbart. Some boycotting conservatives going to have a hard time w/ breakfast.

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I could deal w/ @realDonaldTrump’s angry tweets a lot better if he occasionally directed them at some of his SUPPORTERS behaving badly.

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The CEO of Levi Strauss wrote an open letter “Recently, we had an incident in one of our stores where a gun inadvertently went off, injuring the customer who was carrying it….. So, while we understand the heartfelt and strongly held opinions on both sides of the gun debate, it is with the safety and security of our employees and customers in mind that we respectfully ask people not to bring firearms into our stores, offices or facilities, even in states where it’s permitted by law. Of course, authorized members of law enforcement are an exception.”
And now some are calling for boycotting Levi’s. #weregoingtoneedabiggerbasket

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The final whistle.

June 29, 2016

RIP Pat Summitt. If they didn’t have a women’s basketball team in heaven, they do now. And practice starts tomorrow at 9am, sharp.

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Mark Zuckerberg is angering locals in Kauai by building a six foot wall around the $100 million property he bought on the North Shore, thereby destroying the view for everyone else.
Hmm, not sure what can be done. But maybe people taking helicopter rides on the island should fly over, take pictures and post them on Facebook?

 

Kellogg’s is opening a cereal only cafe in New York City. For millennials who don’t know how to make it at home?

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Adam Wainwright almost hit a bird yesterday with a pitch. Although since the St. Louis pitcher isn’t hitting 90 on the radar gun these days, had he hit it, the bird might have escaped with minor injures.

 

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Getting so many urgent “Vote” emails from ‪#‎SFGiants‬ for ‪#‎MLBAllStargame‬ almost wonder if they’ve hired Bernie Sanders?

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Bad news for the Yankees, as Carlos Beltran left the game appearing to have injured his hamstring. At least the SFGiants hadn’t traded away another top prospect to get him for a second time.

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Tony Hawk, at the age of 48, has landed a stunt called a “900” -r a two-and-a-half aerial spin — 17 years after he first accomplished it. Of course, then there was the little matter of getting up afterward.

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The U.S. Supreme Court denied an appeal by a family-owned pharmacy that didn’t want to provide emergency contraceptives to women because of their “Christian beliefs.”
You know, I would take these “religious freedom” people more seriously if they demanded to see marriage licenses from men wanting ED drugs.

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RB Zurlon Tipton, 26, who played for the Indianapolis Colts the past two years, has died. Tipton was apparently trying to take a duffel bag out of his car when a gun inside the bag went off and shot him in the stomach. ‪#‎ifonlyhewasarmed‬.

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So while Bernie is still mulling over a possible endorsement, Elizabeth Warren hit the campaign trail big time with Hillary Clinton. Proving once again, when it comes to politics, women know how to quit whining and get to work.

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Donald Trump attacked Hillary Clinton on globalization and vowed if elected he would use only U.S. steel and aluminum on road, bridge, and construction projects and employ only American workers.
Uh, why wait, the Donald could call tomorrow for all his Trump-branded products only to be manufactured in the U.S by American workers….

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Thought immediately after the latest attack “We don’t know much yet about the awful attack at ‪#‎Istanbul‬‘s ‪#‎Ataturk‬ airport. But that won’t stop ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ from blaming Obama.”

And sure enough… So Donald Trump of course ranted on Twitter after Istanbul saying “When will the world realize what is going on?” and “We must do everything possible to keep this horrible terrorism outside the United States.”
Uh, except that with all of our US recent mass shootings, the killer, or in San Bernardino one of the two, was born in the United States.

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