Posted tagged ‘Jets jokes political jokes’

Our shrinking status?

September 12, 2013

Mount McKinley, the tallest mountain in the USA, has gotten a bit shorter. It’s now measured at 20,237 instead of 20,320 feet. What an outrage. I blame Obama.

 

Apparently Aaron Hernandez will not be allowed to watch the Patriots while he is jail awaiting trial. If the authorities really wanted to punish him, however, they’d make former Gator Hernandez watch replays of last week’s Florida-Miami game.

 

Geno Smith, 3 interceptions in the 4th quarter. Can hear the chants all the way from California – “Tebow, Tebow, Tebow…”

Two Saskatchewan Roughriders (CFL) players have been charged with aggravated assault following an August bar fight. Were the two trying to prove they really belonged in the NFL?

Apple stock has fallen after the much anticipated new iPhone updates turned out basically to be … new bright colors? And somewhere Steve Jobs is thinking “No one person is indispensable, my a**.”

 

Emirates Team New Zealand now has a commanding lead in the Americas’s Cup, in part due to tactical errors by Oracle Team USA. Maybe even the U.S. sailors are sick of being on the same team as Larry Ellison.

From Bill LIttlejohn:  “Ndamakong Suh reportedly threatened a cable guy with a pellet gun.This time, though, an overwhelming number of frustrated subscribers have offered to help pay his fine”

 

 

Michelle Obama is now getting criticized for saying “Drink just one more glass of water a day and you can make a real difference for your health, your energy, and the way you feel.” You do get the sense if she made a statement in support of motherhood and apple pie that the immediate reaction would be “what about fathers and cherry pie?”

Newt Gingrich says that Putin’s NY Times opinion piece is a “lie.” And if anyone knows lies, it’s a man who’s said three times “until death do us part.”

 

The silly season never goes away…. A Republican operative posted a screenshot of Montana Lt. Gov (and likely 2014 Senate candidate) John Walsh’s FB page. Apparently he had “liked” a profile with pictures of women’s breasts called “Breasts. Proof that men can multitask2” Walsh said the “like” was a mistake and deleted it. At least the Lt. Gov didn’t feel compelled to say that that he DIDN’T like breasts.

Putin in his anti-American-exceptionalism op-ed in the NY Times: “We are all different, but when we ask for the Lord’s blessings, we must not forget that God created us equal.” Unless you are female, Chechen, or gay.