Posted tagged ‘Coakley jokes’

The Mourning after….

January 21, 2010

Who knew, the “Hangover” could turn out to be a Democratic documentary for the day after the Massachusetts special election?

At one point in her Senate campaign, Martha Coakley referred to Red Sox World Series hero Curt Schilling as a “Yankees fan.” In retrospect, that may have been when many voters in effect told her to “put a bloody sock in it.”

At least Coakley wasn’t asked about Bobby Orr. She might have made some comment about rowing.


John McCain’s wife Cindy has decided to come out against Proposition 8, the anti-gay marriage initiative in California. In a new ad, Cindy is wearing duct tape across her mouth. Just think of what could have happened had her husband’s campaign tried that strategy with Sarah Palin.

Tiger Woods now apparently says he’s a “sex addict.” So what’s the difference between a sex addict and most men? Means and opportunity.

Gavin Newsom gave an interview to Maureen Dowd of the New York Times saying he planned to leave politics in 2012. Later, he called the reporter to say he was “just kidding.” Who knows with the mercurial San Francisco mayor? Maybe he’ll end up playing quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings.


Now it turns out that besides having a mediocre record at Tennessee and leaving after only a year, Lane Kiffin also wrecked the Lexus loaned to him by the university. Guess this assures that Coach Kiffin will go down in Volunteer history as “Rocky Flop.”


No NHL team with at least seven players chosen to various Olympic teams has ever won the Stanley Cup. The Sharks have eight players going to Vancouver this year. Well, I guess that streak is safe.


Four of the Sharks are playing for Canada. If Canada wins the gold, San Jose may ask that the NHL playoffs next year be moved up to February.

Massachusetts and beyond…

January 20, 2010

Michael Dukakis, John Kerry, Martha Coakley…. Who knew Massachusetts was an old Indian word for “crappy Democratic candidates?”


Some thought Coakley seemed complacent and arrogant. Apparently she might even be a closet supporter of Bill Belichick.


True story, a client asked in our California office today about getting a passport for her child to go to Hawaii. The scariest thought, people like this can actually vote.


Breaking news. Although Benji Molina was sure he had better offers, the veteran catchers ended up returning to the SF Giants for 2010 on a one-year contract at a reduced salary. Apparently those offers didn’t turn out to be as good as he thought. And one reputedly included some duties at 10pm on NBC.


The San Francisco Giants are offering Lincecum $8 million a year in arbitration. The two-time Cy Young winner is asking for $13 million. San Francisco, however, can point out that perhaps it’s not the first time Tim is a little high.


Conan O’Brien is reportedly close to an agreement with NBC that would allow him to keep the rights to his creations like “Triumph the Insult Comic Dog”, in exchange for a promise not to disparage the network. With all due respect, how can any comic make NBC look worse than they do themselves?


Back to politics…have to wonder, with all the Democrats in Massachusetts, how did they come up with a candidate as weak as Martha Coakley? Do the state party leaders moonlight in the programming department of NBC?


If the Republicans now plan to stall health care reform, however, Barack Obama does have a plan to end the filibuster. He’s going to show it every night on NBC at 10pm.